Love Begins Again
by thekingdaddy
Summary: Castle gets disturbing news while Kate is at her dads cabin recuperating. He decides a change is in order for his life. How will Kate cope with this news. Can Caskett even happen? We will have to wait and see, but I don't think Beckson or Davidett has a ring to it. Do you?
1. Chapter 1

**Okay guys here is a new one. I know some of you have been waiting for updates to Gabriel and Secrets and I promise I have not ended those, they will be finished. But everytime I have sat down to work on those this story has popped up. I can't tell you how many chapters I have had to delete. I would start to proof read them and realize that there were two stories on the page so I just decided to get this one on paper. I hope that by putting this on paper I can clear my head.**

 **Now this one is an AU fic set in season 4 so please make note of that. I really don't want to get the emails telling me this is out of character. I really am attempting to write a mature version of each of our hero's.**

 **My wife, the lovely Mrs. Kingdaddy asked me to write a relationship story, and has been eagerly awaiting it. So here is my attempt at something other than a military, spy thriller.**

 **Thanks to LadyAilith for her brilliant work as my editor. I am so blessed to have her working with me, she is by far the better end of this partnership. Also my lovely wife for the proof reading and story suggestions.**

 **As you know I own nothing but a computer and an over active imagination.**

Chapter 1

It was Wednesday and Richard Castle was sitting in his office staring at a computer screen that was telling him he should be writing, and he should. He knew that he should, but he just couldn't. He hadn't been able to for the past four months. The four months since Kate Beckett had been shot.

He hadn't heard from her in the past four months. He had seen her two days after her shooting when he visited her in the hospital. She said then that she needed a little time and would call him. He was still waiting for that call. Well that wasn't entirely true; her phone had called him on June twentieth. The problem was that it wasn't her voice on the other end, it was her boyfriend, Josh Davidson.

Josh had called Castle because he knew how close Rick and Kate were. Josh knew that Castle was closer to Kate Beckett than anyone else on the planet. That included her dad and professed best friend, Lanie. So he called Rick Castle to ask what type of proposal Kate would want. Would she want big, small, loud, or quiet? He was only going to do it once and she deserved for it to be the one she dreamed of all her life.

Rick should have seen it coming. She had frozen him out and retreated to her dad's cabin in the mountains. Dr. Motorcycle Boy went along with her and, to his knowledge, was still by her side. So when Josh called and asked, he swallowed his pride and told him of her reaction to Ryan's proposal to Jenny. How the tears had welled up in her eyes as she said it was intimate and perfect.

He recalled how Josh had been thankful and appreciative for the advice. He even acknowledged the not so veiled threat if he ever hurt her. As he was thinking of the ways he could hurt the good doctor, with the help of the boys of course, he didn't notice his phone had signaled a new text. After a couple of minutes his phone rang.

"Castle," he answered without looking to see who was calling him. There was no sound on the line and just as he started to look at the screen, he heard her. "Rick."

"Kate. Is that you, Kate?"

"Yes Rick, it's me. How have…how…how have you been?"

Castle could hear the anxiousness in her voice. It was fear mixed with timidness. She was petrified and if he thought his heart couldn't break anymore, he was wrong. Tremendously wrong. He tamped down his anger and replied, "As good as I could hope for I guess. And you?"

A weak voice answered, "I'm better, getting better each day."

By then Castle was up and pacing in his office, having relinquished his chair as soon as her voice became clear. "Good, I'm so glad to hear that. No residual effects of the…" He couldn't say it. He couldn't say _"your shooting."_ If he did, it would be as if he was reliving it, and he couldn't do that. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever.

Sensing that he couldn't say it, Beckett said it for him. "'Shooting,' Rick. The word you're searching for is 'shooting.'"

"Kate, I can't say it. I can't say _"_ _your shooting_ _."_ It's too painful a memory for me."

"I know Rick, I know." She didn't know what to say other than that. How could she console him when she wasn't sure _she_ knew how to accept what had happened to her? "Listen Rick, I called to see if we could meet for coffee? I am going back to work Monday and want to talk to you about it."

"Sure, I can meet you. When and where do you want to meet?"

"How about in an hour at the little coffee shop around the corner from my place."

Castle looked at his watch and knew that Alexis would be home in thirty minutes. "Make it an hour and a half. I need to make sure Alexis is home before I can leave."

Xx

Twenty minutes later Castle was still staring at his computer screen that was telling him that he should be writing when Alexis came through the door. He never heard the door open let alone Alexis calling his name. When he finally looked up he saw her standing there. "Dad are you okay?"

"Yes, pumpkin I'm fine. Why do you ask?" He was rising from his chair as he answered. "You had a faraway look in your eyes when I came in, and you didn't hear me calling you." He opened his bedroom door a crack and they peeked in. After closing his door he pulled Alexis into a hug and asked. "Can you handle everything here for a couple of hours? I have an appointment that just came up."

Alexis looked quizzically at her dad. He was hiding something, she was sure of it but she didn't want to pry. "Sure thing Dad, I don't have to be anywhere til seven tonight. Ashley and I are going to Serendipity for dessert."

"Really?"

"Daaaad! Stop it!"

"Sorry pumpkin. I should be home around five, okay?" he said as he gathered up his wallet and keys. Alexis was heading back to his bedroom as she called out, "Sure thing Dad, I've got it covered."

Xx

Kate Beckett was not one to get nervous, never had been. Well, that wasn't quite true. She had been nervous when she brought her Harley home for the first time. She had bought it with her savings from her summer job, neglecting to tell her parents about it prior to riding up on it. Needless to say her mom wasn't the happiest person in the world and her dad threatened to send her to a convent. That might have been the last time...until today.

Today she was meeting Castle for the first time since she sent him away at the hospital. That day had haunted her for the past four months and today she had to face him. Well, she didn't have to face him, but she wanted to. She wanted to apologize to him and ask his forgiveness. He deserved that and so much more. He had tried to take a bullet for her and his reward was her running off without so much as a phone call.

She snapped out of her daydream when she heard the bell above the door chime. It was an old timey one. It had more than likely been above that door for generations, had seen all types of people come and go. All types of people with all types of problems. So in the grand scheme of things,this wasn't so bad, she mused as she eyed the person who caused the sound.

Xx

Castle was thinner than she remembered. He'd lost weight, close to twenty pounds if she had to guess. His eyes had a haunted look to them, as if his sleep had been too tormented to be restful. As she caught his eye, he smiled at her. Not the smile that he reserved for his friends and loved ones, but the one he used for fans. The one that never quite made it to his eyes. Oh, it was a genuine smile alright, just not heartfelt. Realizing that caused her to sink a little into her chair.

As he pulled out the chair across the table from her, she could tell how nervous he was. Here was Richard Castle, a man who was at home in any situation. A man who never met anyone who he couldn't charm, and he was nervous to sit across from her.

"Hi Castle." It was all she could muster at the moment. "Kate, it's good to see you." He was looking over her shoulder at a spot on the wall, trying with all of his might to school his emotions. Trying his best not to look at her left hand.

"You too, Castle. How have you been?"

"I've been good Kate. Never better actually." Before Beckett could answer, the waitress came to take their order. That's why she loved this place; there were never any lines if you chose a table. The staff came and took your order then delivered your favorite coffee to you. After the waitress left with their orders, Kate looked back at him. "You don't look well, Rick. Is everything alright?"

"Yeah I'm good, just started working out. It's caused me to lose a little sleep the past few days." They both knew it was a lie but neither pushed it any further.

"Okay, well I thought I would tell you that I go back to work on Monday." She was playing with the placemat not willing to look at him. His eyes were drawn to her hands and much to his surprise, she wasn't wearing a ring. _She must have it on her necklace. She doesn't want to embarrass me._ "That's good. I'm glad that you're able to go back work."

The waitress came back with their coffees and asked if they needed anything else. Castle pulled out a twenty and gave it to her. "No, I think we have everything we need." She nodded and let them know if they needed anything to just ask and walked away to leave them to their conversation.

"So how does Josh feel about you going back to work so soon?"

Beckett knew that the conversation would eventually turn to Josh. She had expected to hear disdain for Josh in Castle's voice and was astonished when it wasn't there. "He isn't happy about it. He thinks it's too soon. Actually, he wants me to think about a career change."

Lifting his cup to his lips, Castle took a long slow drag off the steaming liquid before answering. "I guess I can see that. He almost lost you. He just wants to make sure you're safe. You have your whole lives in front of you and he wants to make sure you're there to live it with him."

Beckett was flabbergasted. She had never heard Castle speak so maturely about her relationship in the past. She had to take sip of her coffee to break the conversation and allow her to regain her thoughts. When she put her cup down she answered, "Yeah I guess I can see that. Anyway, I wanted to know when you would be back at the precinct."

Castle was caught off guard by her question. She really thought he would be returning to the precinct! After he declared his love for her, and with her marrying another man, how could she expect him to work side by side with her? Well, to her defense, she didn't remember him declaring his love for her. Trying to change the subject he asked, "So have you regained any of your memory from the shooting?"

She shook her head. "No. The first thing I remember is waking up with Josh at the side of my bed."

As he looked into her eyes, he was searching for anything that would let him know that she was being untruthful. He knew her tells - every one of them. He had watched her interrogate suspects for the past three years after all. He had his doubts all summer that she didn't remember his declaration. But he couldn't find anything that led him to believe that she was being anything less than truthful.

"Kate, I'm not coming back to the precinct." There it was, he'd said it. He didn't expect to just blurt it out but he did. And now he could see the fear in her eyes.

"Why…why not?" She stammered out the question, the fear she felt radiating from her eyes.

He looked down at his cup. Oh, how he wished there were a few dregs left of the warm liquid. When his eyes returned to hers, he decided to tell her. "Kate, there is a new girl in my life who takes up most of my time and I'm not willing to change that at this point." That was as much as he was willing to tell her at that time. After all she had Josh, so he had moved on with his life.

"Oh…I see." He could see what could only be described as regret in her eyes.

"Listen Kate, I'm having a get together on Friday night to introduce her to everyone. I would love it if you and Josh could drop by. It starts at seven."

"I don't know Castle, we have dinner plans for that evening. Josh has had the reservations for about a month. Kind of a 'welcome back to the city' dinner."

"Okay, I understand. I'll let everyone know you can't make it." Just then his phone rang. As he went to send the call to voice mail, Kate saw the name "Jim Beckett" displayed on the screen.

"That was my dad?"

Looking back up at her, he said sheepishly, "Yeah, yeah it was." At that point Detective Beckett made an appearance. "How is it that you have my dad's number in your phone?" she demanded.

He placed his phone back in his pocket and sighed. "After your…" He still couldn't bring himself to say the word so she spoke it for him. "Shooting." He sighed again. "Yeah, your shooting, we exchanged numbers. After you went to the cabin he called and asked me to meet him for coffee. He wasn't doing too well, so at that point so I started checking up on him. I figured you had a long recovery and knowing you, I expected that you were hiding from everyone." He looked again to her hand still expecting to see a ring. "Well, not everyone, you had Josh with you and that was a good thing. Anyway I knew that if he had a relapse it would break you, so I kind of stepped up to make sure he was okay."

To say she was astonished and totally flabbergasted would be an understatement. Castle had been there all summer to make sure her dad didn't fall again. Even if she hadn't, he had looked after her dad. How could one man be so selfless?

"Thank you." The words escaped from her lips. They were quiet, almost unheard, but he had heard them.

"Always."

 **Thoughs?**

 **I would like to echo the sentiments of Shutterbg5296 and Pegship, the nastiness of reviews about season 8 is just a waste of time. And the Guest reviews that troll writers who take their time to do this needs to stop. I can assure you that I will be removing any and all of those from this any other project I work on.**

 **Please take the time to review but not taunt or ridicule.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I want to thank each and every reviewer and the few people who messaged me on this story. I can't believe that I have over 80 followers for this story after the first chapter. I would like to remind people of the trauma that Kate went through. Now I have never gone through anything like that, but I think that if I did it would fundamentally change me. It was stated that Kate would kick Josh to the curb for wanting her to change jobs. I never meant to write it as an ultimatum. I wanted him to be concerned about her job, that's all. I am sorry if it didn't come across that way.**

 **As you all know I don't own Castle, if I did there would be hell to pay for the current storyline. Needless to say I am not a fan of direction of season 8. But they didn't ask my opinion.**

Chapter 2

Lanie had always preferred arriving early for a shift. It allowed her to prepare for the craziness of her day. Being a medical examiner meant that her day was much more taxing than a normal person's. Although she worked closely with homicide, she saw the awful things that people could do to each other.

The other reason that she liked to arrive early was that she never knew when Kate Beckett would be waiting for her to discuss the latest complication in her love life. When they first met each other it was Beckett's training partner Royce, then Mr. FBI William Sorenson, after that there were a string of guys who didn't make the grade. They were either too serious, not serious enough, too tall, not tall enough. It was always something that she needed to talk through.

Then the early morning visits stopped. She had stopped dating all together. Well, that was until Castle. Although she had never dated Castle, she came to complain about him as if they were. Everyone who knew Beckett thought that she would, at some time, give in to Castle's charm and say yes. But she never had; she had in fact dated other men in front of him.

As she headed for her office she opened the door to the exam room, turned on the light, and was surprised by the figure sitting on the table.

"My God! Girl, you scared me!" Lanie dropped her bag and ran to Beckett, pulling her into a hug.

"Sorry Lanie, but could you not crush me?"

Lanie pulled back from her hug and said, "Let me look at you girl." She took a good close look at her. "Okay, you're a little too thin for my liking."

Beckett just smiled at her almost as if she knew what was coming next. And if she was honest with herself she did.

"And don't think I'm not still pissed at you, running off to the woods without even so much as a goodbye! What the hell was that?" she demanded. "I know Lanie. I'm so sorry about that. But I couldn't see any other way. Everything here was reminding me, no not reminding me, but scaring me. It felt like everything was closing in, I imagined the shooter everywhere. So two days after I was released I decided to go up there."

A smile came across Laine's face at Beckett's confession. She had known her for such a long time and had never known her to admit to fear. Ever. "I know." A confused Beckett replied. "You know?"

"Yeah, I know. We all do. Your dad told us." Looking down and picking at her cuticles, she asked in barely a whisper, "My dad?"

"Yeah. Castle had us all out to the Hamptons for the fourth of July. During dinner one night your dad spilled the beans."

For the second day that week Kate was flabbergasted. She never expected that Castle would have done such a thing, invited everyone, even her dad, to the Hamptons. As she looked up Lanie spoke. "What? You don't think Castle would invite us if you weren't there?"

Beckett knew the jab was meant as a joke but it still hurt. She had wanted to go last summer, she had broken up with Demming to go with Rick, but that didn't happen. But she never expected that her dad would be the first Beckett to visit Castle's beach bungalow as he liked to call it. "No Lanie that's not it. I guess I didn't expect Dad to go that's all."

"Well if it's any consolation to you he didn't want to go. Castle went by his place and practically forced him to. It's a wonder that his neighbors didn't call in a kidnaping. Castle practically carried him to his Mercedes. It was one of the funniest things I have ever seen."

Kate's head was spinning at all the information that Lanie was dishing out. Then it hit her, Lanie was in the car with Castle and her dad. "Wait, you rode up with them? You rode to the Hamptons with Castle and Dad?"

"Yes I did, we went up on Thursday night. Javi and Kevin had the late shift and they came up with Jenny after they got off Friday morning. Alexis and Martha were already there. They had spent the week along with Alexis's boyfriend Ashley. Oh, I almost forgot - Evelyn and the girls went up with Martha."

Evelyn and the girls? Castle had taken the Montgomery family to the Hamptons. They had all talked about taking care of the girls when they decided to keep Montgomery's name out of the investigation. "And where was this new love of Castle's life? Did she ride up with you or was she already there?" Anyone passing by the morgue could have felt the venom and jealousy accompanying Beckett's words.

Lanie leaned back against the wall and crossed her arms giving Kate her 'I know everything' smirk. "Now why would you care Kate? You were up at the cabin playing house with your doctor. Why would you give a damn if she was there?"

Beckett narrowed her eyes at Lanie who just carried on. "Don't try your glare on me, girl. It might work on the boys and Castle, but not me. But if you really need to know, he hadn't met her yet. He just met her two weeks ago."

"Two weeks ago? He met he two weeks ago and he can't come back to work with me? Just who is this woman?"

Lanie could see the jealousy positively dripping off of Beckett and she couldn't resist turning the screws a little. After all Beckett had Josh, why should she care who Castle was crazy about. "Well, I guess if you know about her, he told you about the get together tonight. Why don't you come and meet Alex, decide for yourself who she is?" She turned Beckett's words back on her.

Beckett seemed lost in thought, replaying the words that Lanie had spoken when it hit her. "You've met her, haven't you?"

"Listen Kate, I have to get to work, but if Castle invited you tonight you should come. It really would mean a lot to him, and after everything he has done, it's the least you could do."

Xx

"Mr. Beckett please come in," Alexis said as she ushered him into the loft. "Thank you Alexis, and how many times will I have to ask you to call me Jim?" he said with a good hearted mock punch to her shoulder.

Castle called out from the kitchen, "It never fails, the Beckett's are beating up the Castles. Kate with me and Jim with you, pumpkin." Alexis's head snapped toward him, glaring the entire time. "I'm going to go and help Gram." And she headed to the office.

Castle watched her go while calling to Jim. "Jim it's good to see you. How have you been?" Jim moved over to the breakfast bar taking a seat on one of the stools. "Anything I can do?"

"No, but thanks Jim. I think I have it covered. I have tea and juice in the fridge, but I want to warn you, my mother will be opening a bottle of wine. I've asked her to keep it out of sight but she said this is a celebration and celebrations require wine. Sometimes I wonder about her."

"Rick don't worry about it, I'm fine."

"Okay, but if you feel that it's an issue tell me, please?" Jim could feel the sincerity in Rick's words and was grateful to call him a friend. "Absolutely. Now when will Alex be getting here? I can't wait to meet the girl who's stolen your heart." Castle just smiled and replied, "About seven."

Xx

Alexis walked up to her dad, pulling him into a hug. "Dad everyone is here, can't we get started?"

"Five more minutes pumpkin. I want to make sure everyone is ready." He knew the suspense was killing everyone and he didn't know if Alex could take another minute cooped up in his bedroom. But he wanted to give Beckett every opportunity to show. He didn't expect she would, but he had invited her and it would be rude to start before the afore mentioned time.

Just as he looked at his watch the doorbell rang. _Seven o'clock on the nose. Kate was nothing if not punctual._ "Alexis could you get that?"

Alexis was sure everyone was already there. She looked around the room to be sure. There was Lanie, Javi, Ryan, Jenny, the Montgomery's, and Uncle Bob. Mr. Beckett was talking with Paula on the couch so everyone was there. "Sure thing Dad." Alexis quickly moved to the door, flipped the deadbolt, and swung it open. To say seeing the two people at the door was a surprise was an understatement.

Kate could feel the animosity rolling off the young red head as she said, "Detective Beckett, Dr. Davidson what a surprise. Please, by all means come in." She turned and stared at her dad. Castle gave her a slight shrug and called to Kate, "Kate, Josh please come in. We were waiting for you."

Alexis couldn't help but notice how nervous Beckett was as she entered the loft or how Dr. Davidson was looking at his watch obviously not wanting to be there. Well, she wasn't going to make it easy on him, she still remembered how he threatened her dad at the hospital. But before she could speak, Castle came around and offered Josh his hand. "Welcome to my home. Please make yourself comfortable."

Castle then moved back to the breakfast bar in the kitchen. It afforded the perfect view of the loft and he could control the guests' sight lines. He wanted them looking at him, not wanting their eyes to wander.

"I guess you want to know why I asked you all here, but before we begin can I top off anyone's drink? In your case, Beckett and Josh, what can I get you?" After pouring them both a glass of red wine he continued, "As most of you know next year Alexis leaves for college." That got a groan from her and light hearted laughter from the rest of the guests.

"Well some things occurred to me this summer. First of all I realized that I am not getting any younger." That got more laughter from the guests along with a swat from Alexis. "I'm forty now, and my life has not turned out the way I expected. I had hoped to have had a larger family, but alas that hasn't happened. Then this summer I realized that I might never have the opportunity to grow my family. You see, I'm single with no prospects of that changing anytime soon." He was now looking Beckett directly in the eyes. No one in the room could miss the subtext.

After taking a drink of his wine he continued, "If I decided to try and grow my family the conventional way, it would take years. Again I'm not even dating, so I decided to grow it unconventionally."

No one had noticed Alexis leave his side and make her way to his office. "Alexis would you mind bringing in Alex?"

"Certainly Dad." Alexis disappeared into his office and a few moments later stood by the door. "Come on Alex let's go see Daddy." She stepped away and a flash of pink dress and chestnut hair came barreling out headed straight for Castle. He dropped to his knees and opened his arms wide to receive the little girl. He made an 'umpf' noise as she barreled into him. He encased her in a hug, kissing the top of her head. He stood up with her, turned to the stunned group and said, "Everyone I would like you to meet my daughter, Alexandria Romanoff Castle, Alex for short."

No one in the room knew what to say. There stood Castle holding a little girl, his daughter, and no one knew.

Josh leaned over to Kate and stage whispered just loud enough for Lanie, who was on the other side, to hear. "So what, he got a groupie pregnant and now he has to pay the piper?" Lanie was enraged by the comment. She stepped around Kate, who was in shock, and pulled him down by the collar so she could speak in his ear. "Don't be such a dick! Let the man tell us what happened."

Beckett's knees buckled, and she sat on the couch. "Castle, where on earth did Alex come from?" She was scared of the answer. She didn't want to believe that what Josh said was true, but with his former lifestyle it could be the case.

Castle was still holding Alex and replied, "I adopted her." Beckett's eyes widened. "Oh, you adopted her. Just like that?"

Castle could see the questions in their eyes, the knowing glances passing between the group. There was a small resemblance to Beckett, but he honestly didn't see it at first. "I didn't choose Alex, she chose me." He paused to let that sink in before continuing, "You see, I made the decision the first of July to adopt, I called in a few favors from friends and headed to Russia after the fourth."

Ryan who hadn't spoken a word all night decided it was time to speak up. "Russia, why in the hell did you go to Russia?"

"Because the adoption system in the U.S. frowns on single men adopting. It's even more difficult to adopt a girl."

Everyone in the room turned to Jim seeking his input. He nodded and said, "He's correct, it would take years for him to get approved if he was at all."

Martha spoke up, "Okay everyone, this is a time to celebrate. Our family has grown and everyone should be happy."

Alex turned in her daddy's arms and said, "Gam," holding out her arms for Martha to take her. After Alex was in Martha's arms, Castle continued. "I flew to Russia the first week of August, and after greasing a few palms - my paperwork was fine but nothing happens in Russia without a few American dollars - I was taken to an orphanage. I really didn't know what to expect, hell I didn't even know what I was doing. As I walked in I thought, _'_ _N_ _o one has told me what to do.'_ Is it like buying a car, just walk in and pick what you want? Did I even know what I wanted? But Alex solved that problem for me."

Alexis spoke up now. "Dad _,_ tell the rest of the story."

"They took me to a room full of kids. The entire orphanage was in that room. I'm guessing ages six months to ten years old. Anyway I sat in a chair and watched the children play. After a few minutes, Alex came over to me and stared me in the eyes and asked if I was her daddy. Well, I couldn't understand Russian so the interpreter told me that's what she asked. I took her hand and asked if she wanted me to be. The interpreter relayed it but she didn't understand. She started to leave but turned and gave me the biggest hug, just like the one earlier. And well, now you know. I didn't pick her, she picked me."

Alex was tired of Martha and looked to Alexis holding out her arms. "Lexi, hold!" Alexis moved over and took Alex from Martha.

"Hey little girl, I love you." Alexis placed a kiss on her forehead, getting a huge hug and a "wuv you" in return.

Kate got up and headed for Alexis and Alex and could see the anxiousness in Alexis's eyes as she neared. Kate looked over to Castle and asked, "Alexandria?" He just nodded and Kate turned back to Alex. "Hello Alexandria. I'm Katarina," she said in Russian. Alex looked Kate up and down before speaking. "Kata…kat…KK. KK."

Kate smiled back at her and said, "Yes, baby. KK, that's me. I'm KK." Alex reached out to Kate. "KK hold." Both Kate and Alexis looked over to Castle for his approval. He just smiled and nodded. Alexis handed Alex to Kate who engulfed Alex in a hug similar to the one Castle had earlier.

As Kate was playing with Alex, Castle put down his drink and moved to their side. Kate looked up at him through her eyelashes and smiled. She smiled the one that melted his heart. She smiled the one that he was sure that she reserved just for him. Well he was sure of that before the summer, now he knew different. "Castle, this is a good thing you did. When I went to Kiev I had a friend who worked in an orphanage, it's a terrible place to grow up. What you have done for her. Wow…just wow."

He was sure if she kept speaking she would surely start to cry. And he knew that Beckett didn't do well with emotions and groups. He looked over to see Josh looking at his watch. "Kate thank you for coming, it really means a lot to me that you are here, but I think Josh is ready to go. I surely don't want you to miss your reservations because of us." He reached out for Alex. "Come to daddy little one."

"Daddy!" She latched onto his neck and squeezed with all of her might.

"Guess you're right." She turned and headed for the couch that held Josh.

Xx

Josh had been sitting there for the better part of an hour. Other than his outburst, for which Lanie put him in his place, he hadn't said a word. But as he looked around he couldn't help but think that this was private and intimate just like Kate wanted. Everything had fallen into place, and tonight was the night.

As Kate returned to the couch and reached for her bag Josh, who was still on the couch, grabbed her hand. She looked down at him with a bewildered look on her face, _'Why is he grabbing my hand?_ _'_ Josh slipped off the couch and onto one knee.

"Katherine Beckett would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?" And before she could answer, he began slipping a ring onto her finger.

Silence, the loft was filled with stunned silence as Kate looked down at Josh. She was in a state of shock, a state that Josh mistook for bliss. As she got her bearings and started to speak, Evelyn spoke up, "Oh, Kate we are so happy for you, right girls? You know I speak for Roy when I say he would be thrilled for you. He always said he wished you could find a little piece of happiness with all of the heartbreak you have suffered."

All Kate could do was smile and she turned to Castle who had turned his back. When he turned back he raised his glass in a toast. "To Dr. Davidson and the future Mrs. Davidson, may they have the life that they both deserve."

Jim crossed the room and pulled her into a hug. "Katie, I am so happy for you!" With a lump in her throat that most would think was caused by happiness she said, "Thank you Dad."

Xx

 **Thoughts?**

 **By the way I chose KK because that is my wife's nickname. And it was chosen by our first niece, very similar to the way this was written.**


	3. Chapter 3

**I am amazed at all of the reviews and favorite/follows for this story.**

 **I own nothing.**

Chapter 3

As the door closed to the loft, anyone in her path would be able to tell Kate Beckett was livid. No, livid was not a strong enough word, she was enraged. She had joked about wanting to shoot Castle in the past but if she had her gun right now, she would shoot her boyfriend. Or was he her fiancé? She had him by the elbow, dragging him with all her might to the elevator. She called for the car and he tried to speak, only to be cut off by the raising of her hand.

Once the car arrived and the elevator door opened, she again grabbed his elbow pulling him into the car. She punched, yes punched with all her might, the button for the lobby. "Just what in the hell was that?"

Josh knew better than to answer at that moment; he thought it would be best to let the fight in her wane then he would state his case. But he didn't know her temperament as well as he thought he did.

"What might have been one of the greatest days of that man's life and you go and ruin it. And you add me as an accessory! That man is my best friend, or was at one time. There is no way in the world anyone in that room will speak to me again. Hell, even my Dad might not, not that I can blame him!" The fight had not left Beckett in the least.

As the doors opened she again grabbed his arm steering him out of 595 Broome and onto the street. She waved for a cab and after entering, offered up her address to the cabbie.

Josh had seen enough of her display. "No driver, we are headed to Le Cirque." Beckett's head snapped to him. "If you think we are going to dinner after that, you have lost your mind."

Josh reached for her but she pulled away. Sighing he spoke, "Listen Kate, I know that wasn't the most opportune time but I didn't think I would get another chance like that. I know how you have always wanted to be around friends and family when proposed to, and well, they were all there. It was intimate and personal just like you wanted."

He reached for her again and she didn't resist. He pulled her close to him and she rested her head on his shoulder. As he stroked her hair, he sensed that she was processing everything and that she would come to the conclusion that it was indeed a good thing. After a few blocks he felt her tense up. She pulled back to look him in the eyes. She was a master interrogator, and at that moment she wanted answers. "How did you know I wanted intimate and personal?"

He froze like a deer caught in headlights. He began to speak only to be cut off by her glare. It was a look that he has never seen before. "I don't know, we talked about it in the past I guess."

She studied him looking for tells and it didn't take long for his twitch to appear. Josh wasn't a master criminal, so it wasn't hard to spot. All the while she was replaying past conversations in her mind. She had never been happier that she could recall entire conversations on a whim as she was now. It was one of the things that always impressed Castle. Castle… "Oh my god! You called Castle to ask how to propose to me!?"

Josh was shaking his head furiously. "Kate…No… I didn't Kate!"

"Yes, you did and now you're lying to me. You know how I know you're lying, hm? I HAVE NEVER TOLD ANYONE THAT BUT CASTLE!"

Trying to keep up the facade Josh shook his head. "No, I didn't. We must have talked about it, or maybe it was one of the times that we went out with Lanie and Esposito." She was fuming now. "No, Josh. I only told Castle. I only realized that's what I wanted when Ryan started talking about proposing to Jenny. And when he did, I told Rick it was perfect. Not another soul! Not a damned one! So when did you ask him?"

Feeling that he had exhausted all other avenues he decided to come clean. "At the end of June when I visited, I called him and asked." Seeing that she was still in cop mode and that her anger wasn't dissipating at all, he feared for the worst.

"So in June when you visited, you called him. Why June, why not just call him? Why wait till June?" They were more rhetorical questions that actual ones. She noticed that he was staring out the window, trying to focus on anything but her. She thought there should be a light bulb above her head when she realized it. "You waited till you could come back to the cabin and use my phone."

She saw him deflate and knew she was correct. "Oh god, driver turn around, take me back to where you picked me up. Oh god...there I was, not contacting him and the only time he hears from me, _it's you asking_ _how to propose_ _!_ "

"Calm down Kate. I know what you are thinking but it's not that way. I just wanted you to have everything you wanted and I didn't have his number."

The driver pulled over and demanded, "Okay, make up your mind! Where the hell do you want to go? If you don't make up your mind I'm gonna drop you right here."

Josh spoke up again, "I know I screwed up, but it doesn't change the fact that I love you and want to marry you. Besides haven't we messed up his night enough already? Tomorrow I'll call and apologize for tonight." He flashed the smile that got her attention the first time they met. As he saw the fight leave her eyes he turned back to the driver. "Le Cirque."

What he didn't realize was that Kate was replaying everything that happened the last year in her mind. Sure, when she woke up, Josh had been sitting at her bed saying, "Kate, I love you. I love you Kate." But did she really love him? That was the question she had to answer.

Xx

Beckett had done the gracious thing and excused herself and Josh as soon as the euphoria of the proposal died down. She claimed they had dinner reservations but Lanie knew she just wanted to get out of the spot light. She knew Kate wasn't one to revel in the spotlight; that was more Castle's domain.

By the time she and Javi were ready to go, the mayor and Paula had already left along with the Montgomery's. She had watched as Castle put the brakes on Paula leaking the engagement. Paula had said it would give a bump to the latest book's sales. After all, who wouldn't love the story of the doctor saving the girl then marrying said girl. She could see the vein in Castle's neck pulse as he told Paula that it was Beckett's prerogative and he wasn't going to break her confidence. She would let the world know if she wanted to, but as private as she was, not to expect it.

Martha moved up behind Castle with her dramatic flair. "Oh, Richard. I am so sorry your night was ruined."

"Mother, it wasn't ruined. All of my friends..." He looked around the room at everyone who was left. "You guys are my friends, I don't have many _real_ friends and they are all in this room. Anyway, you got to meet the newest member of our family, and for me, it was perfect."

Alexis, who hadn't spoken since the proposal, finally did. She was very bitter. "Yeah but Dad, he asked Kate in our living room, surprising everyone and totally ruined your mood."

As Castle went to pull Alexis into a hug, Martha took Alex from his arms. "I'll take her up to bed."

He looked back to her. "Thank you Mother." He turned to look at Lanie and kissed Alexis on the head. "I thought they were already engaged." He could see the confusion in everyone's eyes. Jim asked, "Son why on earth would you think that?" Followed by Lanie's, "I think you need to explain that."

Rick sighed. "Back in June, the last week I think, Josh called me and asked how she would want to be asked. He wanted the proposal to be everything she had ever dreamed of. I can't fault him for that. I would want to know that information." He spoke before he thought, now the cat was out of the bag about how he felt. "Oh crap! I didn't mean to say that last part. You have to promise me it will not leave this room. The last thing I would ever want would to cause them any problems."

"Bro, it's no secret, everyone knows how you feel about Beckett. Hell, we've all been in on the pool about you two." Javi looked over at Lanie and Ryan. "I guess we can call that one, can't we?" He looked back at Castle. "Sorry bro."

Everyone knew the night was over and were heading for the door when Castle spoke again, "Guys, I really just want Kate to be happy. If she is, that's all that matters to me." Everyone knew it was a lie, but no on called him on it.

Xx

Dinner had been an exercise in patience. She had been furious when they exited the cab, tried her best to go home, but Josh's apologies for what happened and his willingness to apologize to Castle swayed her decision to stay. After all, he had stayed for her instead of going to Haiti, and helped as much as she would let him over the summer. He was in love with her, and no one had ever been before.

But that didn't mean that dinner was fun. She kept replaying the night, how happy Castle had been with Alexis and Alex and how happy she had been with them. Alexis had been a little stand offish when she went for Alex but had come around. The limited time she had Alex in her arms, both she and Alexis cooed and played with her. It was almost like a little family, and then the spell was broken. Josh had gotten antsy and was ready to go, but then he did the unthinkable. Now she was engaged, _or was she,_ to the man who helped save her life. He has risked his career to stabilize her, he gave up his Doctors without Borders trips for her. That had to be love, right? Right?

When they got back to her apartment she was exhausted, both emotionally and physically. The day had been very long. She met with Lanie at six in the morning then spent the entire day getting ready to return to work. Add to that the emotional toll of worrying about the new "lady" in Castle's life _and_ the proposal, she was whupped.

As she prepared for bed, she found a present that Josh had left on her bed. It wasn't hard to guess what it was. He was always wanting to buy her silk nightwear to sleep in. It usually had very little material and showed way more than she wanted when she slept. He just couldn't get it through his head that she liked to sleep in cotton panties and an oversized tee shirt.

She opened the package and wasn't surprised. "Oh Josh, this is beautiful. I really love it," she said graciously. She moved to put it into her lingerie drawer and began to pull out her normal sleepwear. With a twinge of anger that anyone other than Beckett would miss, Josh said, "Kate what are you doing? Don't you like it?" She was beginning to anger again, but she tried to head it off. "I told you I love it, but I'm tired. I thought we could save this for another night."

"On the night I ask for your hand in marriage you _just_ want to sleep? You were finally given a clean bill of health." He moved around behind her, pulling her back up against his chest. "It's been months Kate, months." She shook free. "Josh, I'm really tired. I think I over did it today. And I know I have the all clear, but it still worries me how tired I get. I really don't feel like it tonight. I know that you are on shift the next two nights, but I promise I will make it up to you." He looked her over and relented. "I guess you're right." He placed a chaste kiss on her lips and headed for the bathroom to prepare for bed.

Xx

Kate had been lying in bed for what seemed like hours staring at the ceiling. Her boyfriend was sleeping on his belly with his right arm draped across his her abdomen. She glanced at the clock. _One a.m. she had called him later that that before. She really wanted to apologize for ruining his night._ She slowly slipped out of bed making sure she didn't wake her sleeping bedmate.

She pulled her robe around her, covering up Castle's threadbare red tee shirt. It was the one she stole from him while she stayed at the loft after her apartment was blown up. She made her way to the kitchen, placing water on to boil for hot cocoa.

She took out her phone and pulled up _his_ number waiting for her cocoa before placing the call. She pulled out her NYPD mug made her cocoa and headed over to the window. She loved staring at the city in the early morning. The lights seemed to dance and the city that never sleeps got quiet.

Still with her phone in her hand she breathed, "It's now or never." And she pushed call. After two rings a deep baritone answered, "Castle."

In a voice that was merely a whisper, not wanting to wake Josh, she said, "Hi Rick, it's Kate."

"Kate, to what do I owe this pleasure?" He tried to keep his tone even and his voice steady. "I…I…I just called to see how Alex is doing tonight." They both knew it wasn't the truth, but Castle didn't call her on it.

"She's doing fine, went to bed a little later that I like. She was a little hyped up, you know." He was making small talk waiting for her to get to the real reason she called.

"Good, that's good Rick." She was tempted to end the call there but he deserved an apology. "Listen Rick, I'm sorry for what happened tonight. He shouldn't have ruined Alex's big night like that."

"Kate, it's okay, really. No harm, no foul. I just want you to know that I am happy for you. He's a good man, and I mean it - you guys have a great future ahead of you."

She was almost in tears, how could that man be so sweet? He was more concerned about her future than his daughter's night being ruined. She knew that Alexandria would never remember it, but he would and that didn't matter to him. Only her happiness. "Thanks Castle."

"Listen, Kate. I need to go up and check on her before I go to bed and I am sure you have better things to do than talk to me at two in the morning."

"Yeah, you're right. Good night Rick."

"Night Kate." With that the line went dead and she placed her phone on the counter. She almost didn't hear the bedroom door open, but she did. Then she felt two strong arms wrap around her.

"Kate, what are you doing up?"

"I couldn't sleep so I made some cocoa. I think it's starting work, I'm getting pretty sleepy."

He raised her left hand to look at the ring and paused for a moment. "Give me the cup and I'll rinse it out. You go ahead back to bed." She handed him the cup and nodded, heading for the bed. He picked up her phone from the counter, checked her call log and sighed.

As he entered the bedroom he called out, "I'm putting your phone on the charger." Getting no response, he looked over and saw she was already asleep.

Xx

 **Thoughts?**

 **My next update may take a little while. My editor/beta is unavailable for a little while. Please note that I am still writing and will update as quickly as I can. She has already finished the next 2 chapters but after that it might be a little delay**


	4. Chapter 4

**I would like to thank everyone who has favorited and followed this story as well as the ones who have reviewed.**

 **I have had a few reviews who have said that Kate is acting out of character and I feel I need to address that.**

 **First since this is an AU story I feel I have a little leeway with the story.**

 **Second as we know Kate and Castle had an enormous fight prior to Montgomery being shot. I don't feel that was properly addressed in cannon. As well, when he visited the hospital she said he should have let her go back in. When Castle said she would have been killed she said you don't know that.**

 **Third when she returned she said that she had broken up with Josh, we don't know when that happened, but it was eluded to being before she went to the cabin.**

 **Now I have never been shot, and I pray to GOD that I never am, but I can't help but think that being shot will have a profound effect on someone. That is my goal in this story, to see that she has been negatively affected. That she isn't making the best decisions but out hope is that she will see the light so to speak.**

 **Again I own nothing.**

Chapter 4

Alexis had been dreaming, dreaming of Stanford's quad and Ashley. They were sitting on the grass, leaning against a tree eating ice cream, when suddenly she was awakened. She was a little miffed that her dream was interrupted until she realized what, or rather who, woke her.

It was the baby monitor that her dad had installed in their rooms. Grams, Dad, and she had a receiver so they would all know when Alexandria woke up. It wasn't the usual style that most new families got. No, this one was a top of the line unit that had video, audio, and an alarm that sounded when an infrared beam was broken beside the bed. It alerted them when she got out of her bed. Each receiver had the ability to turn off the alarm which let the other "adults" in the loft know someone was up and headed to Alex's room. This morning it was she who answered the alarm first.

She stuck her head out of her door just in time to see a little head peek out from the door across the hall. "Hey Alex, you're up." She headed over and took her hand. "Let's get you changed." Alex just looked at her. "OH, I forgot! I'm so sorry." She repeated it again in Russian to Alex's delight.

After changing Alex's diaper Alexis took her hand and said, "Let's go see Daddy," which immediately brought a smile to the newest Castle's face. "Daddy!"

As they made their way down the stairs Alexis drew the toddler's attention to her. Putting her finger to her lips, she made a "shh" sound as they quietly entered their dad's room. He was on his back in a deep slumber with his mouth hanging open. Alexis almost hated to wake him. Almost. She could tell that Alex was chomping at the bit to get to him so she carefully lifted her onto the bed and waited for the fireworks. As soon as she let go Alex pounced, covering the distance from the foot to the head of the bed in what looked like one giant hop.

"Humph!" was the first sound emitted from the bed followed closely by the beautiful sound of giggles from the youngest Castle. He slid to the middle of the bed while drawing Alexandria into a deep hug. As he started to release her, his hand went up in the air. His fingers began opening and closing, all the while getting closer to Alex. "What is that Alex?" his hand moving painfully slow in the direction of her belly while Alex's giggles got louder. "Do you know what that is?"

She shook her head. "Nyet!" He just looked at her and she replied, "No!" Alexis spoke up, "That's right Alexandria, 'Nyet' is 'No.'" The young girl turned to Alexis and smiled. That was all the break that Castle needed. His hand swooped down onto her belly while he yelled, "Tickle monster!" That was closely followed by the squeal of the little girl crying out "Stop" in English.

Castle let out a laugh and leashed the tickle monster. He pulled her close to him as Alexis climbed into bed on his other side. He reached out and pulled her up against the right side of his chest with Alex on the left. "I could get used to waking up like this."

He felt the covers on his belly start to move and a squeal rang out. "Ickle Monster!" He looked over at his younger daughter who was concentrating on tickling him so much that her tongue had slipped out of her mouth. What he didn't see was his oldest daughter positioning her hands to help her sister. "Tickle Monster!" That was the cry that came from his right as Alexis joined in the fun. She had him pinned, and since she knew his most ticklish spots, it didn't take long for him to cry uncle. As they all settled down, Castle looked at Alexis. "Did you, by any chance, change her?" Rolling her eyes in a manner that could only be described as "Beckettesque," she sighed, "Dad, of course I did."

"Thanks Pumpkin."

He laid there for some time with both his girls wrapped up in his arms. It was long enough that he felt Alexandria fall asleep, but he never felt the tension leave Alexis. He turned his head so he could look at his elder daughter. "What are you thinking about so hard over there?" When she didn't answer immediately, he decided to wait her out.

Finally Alexis spoke, "Dad, I don't want Detective Beckett back in our home." Castle had expected that his redheaded daughter would be upset by the events of last night. But he honestly expected it to be at the good doctor, not Kate. After all it wasn't Kate who proposed in his living room, it was Dr. Motorcycle Boy. "Pumpkin, what's gotten into you?"

She raised her head to look him in the eye. "What's gotten into me? What's gotten into _her_? How could she do that?"

"Do what Alexis? What did she do? She didn't propose to him, it was the other way around."

"She knows that you love her and she is still marrying someone else. How could she do that to you?" He could swear he saw steam escaping from her ears as she finished speaking. He began to draw soothing circles on her back and as he felt the tension leave her, he spoke, "I have never told her how I feel. There isn't any way she could know."

"That's not true Dad. I heard you at the funeral, I heard you tell her you love her. I know that Lanie heard you too. I'm pretty sure that Ryan and Esposito heard you as well." He sighed and closed his eyes. "Yeah I did, but that doesn't mean she heard me."

"She shouldn't need to hear you. She has three years' worth of your actions to prove it to her."

He opened his eyes, turned to her, and began to speak. He used the voice he used when she was much younger. The one where he put forth a scenario and tried to get her to come to the conclusion that he wanted her to. "Alexis, love doesn't work that way. Just because I love someone does not mean it will be returned. Now what is the name for that kind of love?" She answered in a whisper. "Unrequited."

"That's right, unrequited. Kate has the right to love whomever she wishes and we as her friends will support her. I know that it seems terrible to you that I could love someone and she not love me, but it isn't. I just want Kate to be happy, and if her fiancé makes her happy, well then, I will support her. And if I can, so can you." He pulled her tighter to his chest and placed a kiss on her head. "Can you do that for me, please?"

"Yeah Dad, I think I can." She let out a sigh.

"I'm not so sure she has a fiancé kiddo. I never heard her say 'Yes.' She just thanked us for the invitation and hauled him out in what I could only call a fit of rage," Martha said mildly.

"Mother, you don't ask a woman to marry you unless you're pretty sure of the answer. And you damn sure don't ask a woman like Kate Beckett."

Martha hummed into her coffee. "Need I remind you of Kyra Blaine?" Then she took a long draught from her cup.

He looked at his mother with a little resentment before being distracted. Alexis put her hand over his mouth. "Don't say another word. You already have to put a ten into the Cuss Jar."

"A ten? It was only a dollar when you were a kid." She grinned. "Inflation!"

Xx

Kate was sitting at the table sipping her coffee and reading the paper. It wasn't her usual morning coffee, the one that Castle brought her. No, this was one that Josh had made her before he got into the shower. He was on shift tonight and needed to head home before going to work.

She read the paper, well she wasn't really reading, just staring at the same article for the past ten minutes. All she could see was the expression on Castle's face when Josh proposed. It was only there for a split second before he stilled his expression and a mask went up.

She was shaken from her thoughts as Josh entered the kitchen. "What are you reading?"

"Oh nothing really, just skimming over everything. Nothing's caught my attention yet." That was a lie, and she was sure he knew it.

"Listen Kate, I'm really sorry about what happened last night. I truly thought that I was doing the right thing. The last thing I wanted to do was upset you. We're supposed to be happy this morning. There isn't supposed to be all this tension between us."

She rose and headed for the coffee pot, pouring out her coffee in the sink along the way. "I really don't want to talk about it, okay?" She filled her cup and grabbed the creamer. It wasn't vanilla but it would have to do.

She felt Josh's powerful arms snake around her. She closed her eyes as he placed a kiss upon her head. Anyone watching would think that she was relishing the moment, but all she wanted was for him to release her.

"I couldn't help but notice that you didn't give me an answer last night." He smiled into her hair knowing what she was about to say. But he wasn't rewarded with what he expected.

"No, I didn't Josh." She shrugged herself loose and returned to her paper. He sat down beside her and asked, "Well, are you?" She folded up her paper as she tried to still her emotions. "This is all so unexpected. We've only known each other a year and we've never talked about marriage before. I don't know if you want kids; hell, I don't know if I want kids."

"Kate, you know how I feel about you, and I know you love me too. Isn't that enough?"

' _He knows I love him too? Hell_ _,_ _I don't even know if I love him_ _,_ she thought. She started to speak but was silenced when he placed a finger upon her mouth. "Don't answer now, take a week or two and let me know. You know I'm not going anywhere."

He rose and headed for the door, stopping before he left. "What are you going to do today?"

She looked at the table and saw her copy of Heat Rises. "I think I'm going to the park for a while." She left out the part about reading Castle's latest book. "That's good. I want you to enjoy yourself. Call me later, please." He smiled inwardly. ' _She_ _'_ _s going to the park to think. It shouldn't take to_ _o_ _long for her to say yes_ _,'_ he thought gleefully.

Xx

Beckett was wandering through Columbus Park when she saw a familiar figure sitting on a park bench. Seeing him, she began to feel his pull, his magnetism. She was drawn to him as metal shavings are drawn to a magnet. As she neared him, he looked up from watching Alex and that smile crept up on his face. The one that she loved. The one that started at the corner of his mouth and stretched to the little crinkles in the corners of his eyes. The crinkles that form from squinting too much, like squinting while looking at a computer.

"Hey." She motioned to the bench. "This seat taken?" He moved Alex's mobile command center, as he had taken to calling her stroller, out of the way to allow Kate to sit. "What are you doing here Beckett?"

"Oh, when I got home from the cabin there was a new book on my table. I thought I would find a quiet spot and read it." She smiled and held up her copy of Heat Rises. "You wouldn't know how it got there, would you?"

He grinned mischievously. "You have to watch out for those book faries. They're sneaky little bastards!" Then he realized what he said. "Damn. That's gonna cost me ten dollars." She looked at him quizzically. "Cuss Jar." Pointing at Alexandria who was sitting on a blanket playing with a doll. "Costs me ten every time I say a bad word. It was only a dollar with Alexis, inflation." She grinned. "It's twenty not ten. You swore twice." He thought back and smiled. "That's not a bad word Kate."

"It was when I was a kid, and I'm guessing you didn't let Alexis say it until high school."

He laughed. "She still better not be saying it."

They sat in silence for a while watching Alex play. Kate looked over at him, regarding the love in his eyes for his newest daughter and it overwhelmed her. "Rick, what you have done for Alex is outstanding. You're an amazing man, Richard Castle."

"I just want her to have every opportunity I gave Alexis without the mistakes that I made." She turned back to look at Alexandria. "Well, it can't be easy being a single father." He looked over at her. "It wasn't, but this time around I think I know where I can do a better job. Not that Alexis turned out bad, she's an incredible young woman in spite of what I did."

"Castle, may I ask you a personal question?"

"Anything, you can ask me anything. You know that."

She paused, staring at Alex who was lost in her little world. "What happened with Meredith?"

"Wow, Beckett. When you ask a personal question you go for the big ones, don't you." Feeling like she had overstepped, she backtracked. "I'm sorry Castle, I shouldn't have."

"No Kate, it's okay. I met Meredith in LA. I was invited out by a couple of producers who wanted to turn Storm into a movie." She looked at him, quirked her eyebrow in a question, but didn't say a word.

"I met with them and came away less than impressed. In a last ditch effort they took me to a party and she was there. We hit it off. We danced, drank, and I ended up on her couch that night. It hadn't been all that long since the Kyra thing and well… I can write from anywhere and she was exciting. So I stayed out there. After a few months, it was all but over when she got pregnant. She didn't want to get pregnant, but to her credit, she never thought about not having her."

He paused and Beckett asked if he wanted a coffee. He started to get up, but she stopped him. "I think I owe you about a hundred coffees; I've got this one." As she walked away, he reached for her book and pulled out a pen. After signing it, he put a hundred dollar bill within the pages. ' _I always b_ _u_ _y the coffee_ _,'_ he mused.

As she sat down and handed him his coffee, he continued. "I wanted to do the right thing so I asked her to marry me. I bought us a house in Bel Air and we started our perfect little family," he said snidely. "That all came to an end when Alexis was about one. Meredith isn't an A-list actor, hell I don't think she's even a C-lister." Looking at Alex, he sighed, "That cost me another ten. Anyway. When you're the caliber of actor she is you can only get parts if you know the producers personally or you use the casting couch. Let's just say she didn't know any producers." Kate's hand went to her mouth. "Oh, Castle."

"I went to play golf and left her with Meredith. I got home a couple of hours early and when I walked in I heard Alexis crying. As I went to her room I caught sight of Meredith half-naked riding a man on our couch. After changing Alexis, I went back to the den for the inevitable fight. At least he had the good sense to head for the hills but Meredith was another story. She said that was just the way things were done in Hollywood and I would have to get over it. I just stared at her, I couldn't believe what she'd said. I packed up Alexis, headed for New York, and Mother's home. I told Meredith when she got her priorities right to give me a call. About a month later I was served with divorce papers. She claimed abandonment and asked for the house, two million, and ten thousand a month in spousal support."

"Spousal support? Are you kidding me?" Beckett was indignant.

"Yeah, until Alexis turns eighteen which is in a couple of weeks, so I expect to see Meredith here anytime now." Beckett questioned him with a look and he continued. "I think when I told her to call me when she got her priorities right, she thought she could come back any time."

"You're joking, right?"

"No, she just… Well, she's just Meredith." He shrugged. "With Alex now, I think it will be eye opener for her."

Before Kate could speak, Alex crawled up in her dad's arms and said, "Daddy Cok. KK Cok."

Hearing that Alex remembered the name she had given her made Kate smile. He reached for his Russian to English pocket dictionary, but before he could find it, Beckett spoke, "Juice, Castle. I think she wants juice." He reached into Alexandria's bag and pulled out a sippy-cup. She grabbed it and started drinking. He turned to Kate. "That is so hot! I forget you speak Russian."

As Alex continued to drink she began to fall asleep. Kate smiled and said, "I think she's out, Castle."

He looked down and smiled. "I think I need to take her home." He placed her in the stroller and turned to Beckett. "It's been a pleasure Detective."

"It sure has. Have a great night Rick."

"You too, Kate." And with that he started down the path to the entrance to the park.

When he was out of sight she opened her book and saw that he'd signed her book. A smile broke across her face; that was until she found the hundred dollar bill. "Son of a bitch. Great. Now I owe her ten."

Xx

 **Thoughts?**

 **I know that this one was a little fluffy but I think that they both need that right now.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hope you enjoy.**

 **I own nothing.**

Chapter 5

The following morning was nearly a repeat of the day before with her drinking coffee and reading the paper. In reality she was just staring at restaurant reviews, having not read anything in the past half hour. Her mind wandered back to her call to Castle the night before. She had called him to thank him for signing her book and to give him grief about the money. _"I have no idea what you are talking about Detective."_

" _Don't give me that_ _! Y_ _ou know exactly how a hundred dollar bill ended up in my book."_

 _She could practically see the smirk on his face as he replied_ _,_ _"I plead the fifth! And if you don't have video evidence to substantiate your accusations you can't prosecute."_

 _She was laughing now. "I think I might be able to find a witness. As I recall_ _,_ _I left you with Alex. I_ _'_ _m sure she_ _'_ _ll tell the truth about what happened."_

" _Interrogating a toddler_ _!?_ _Beckett_ _,_ _when did it come to this?"_

" _When you refused to tell the truth about the money."_

" _What you are neglecting to_ _take into account,_ _my dear detective_ _,_ _are the book fairies!"_

" _Really Castle_ _? Y_ _ou_ _'_ _re going with_ _b_ _ook fairies?"_

" _They can be sneaky little bastards! Damn that cost me ten."_

 _She giggled. "Twenty."_

" _Twenty?" He replayed the past couple of minutes in his mind. "You_ _'_ _r_ _e_ _right_ _. I_ _t's twenty."_

" _Oh that reminds me Castle, I owe_ _the Cuss Jar_ _ten."_

 _He was quiet, reflecting on the previous day. "I don't recall you letting one fly." She replied_ _,_ _"That's because you were walking away." And as she thought about him walking away pushing Alexandria in her stroller_ _,_ _it melted her heart. She always knew he was a good dad, she had Alexis as evidence. But seeing him in action_ _? T_ _hat was something else. She was surprised_ _at_ _how many emotions it stirred_ _with_ _in herself._

" _Thank you Kate, I don't think I can express how much I appreciate you wanting to be an influence on my daughters means to me."_

 _She wasn't ready for the direction this conversation was taking. And it was headed that way fast_ _,_ _too fast_ _. "Don't thank me Castle, it's my pleasure._ _Hey,_ _I just looked at the time, I better let you get some sleep_ _,_ _"_ _she said, k_ _nowing the park had been as much serious conversation as she wanted for one day._

She was startled out of her memories by a knock at the door. _How could he know I was thinking about him?_ She made her way to the door and quickly opened it without checking the peep hole, nearly ripping it off the hinges. "Hi!"

A surprised Josh replied, "Well, hi!" He bent to kiss her, catching her cheek as she turned to let him in. "That's not the kiss I wanted." Not wanting to hurt his feelings, she covered her mouth. "Morning breath, I haven't brushed yet," she said, hoping he would accept her excuse without question. They moved to the kitchen and she asked, "Coffee?" reaching for a cup.

"No, I don't think so. It's been a long night, I think I need to head to bed." He couldn't help but notice that Castle's book, the one that had been on the table for the past week, wasn't on the table. Before he could ask about it, Beckett's phone rang.

"Beckett. Oh, hey Lanie. Yes, I know I owe you a girls' day out. No, I can't this morning. I'm having brunch with my dad. Okay, okay. Let's say four at The Old Haunt. Yes, I will. No, I won't, I'll be there. Yes, I promise. Love you too, Lanie. Bye."

As that was taking place in the kitchen, he moved to the couch spotting _his_ book on the coffee table. He absentmindedly picked it up and started to leaf through it, stopping to read the hand written note.

 _Kate,_

 _I hope your future brings you as much joy as your smile brings me. I hope you never lose your ability to smile._

 _Richard Castle_

He closed the book and turned to her. "So you're meeting your dad for brunch?" She just nodded. "Care if I come?"

"Josh, I don't think so. You know that he and I try to have brunch on Sundays and it's just us. Always has been. Besides, don't you need to get some sleep?"

He stood and headed for the door. "You're right, I need to sleep. I'll try to see you before my shift."

Xx

Beckett entered the diner and immediately saw her father. He was sitting in what had become his booth. Jim rose to greet her. "Katie." He pulled her into a hug and kissed her forehead. Taking their seats, he commented on how good she looked.

"Thanks Dad, you look good too." As they sat and talked, the waitress came over and Kate placed her coffee order. "Where's Josh?" It was an innocent question but he couldn't miss the nervous look that crossed his daughter's face. "Is there something wrong Katie?"

She shook her head. "No Dad, nothing's wrong."

"Katie you know that you could never lie to me don't you?" She nodded again never looking up from her coffee and he continued, "So do you want to tell me what's going on between you and your fiancé?"

"He's not my fiancé, at least not right now. I haven't give him an answer yet."

Jim had always known that Kate couldn't be told to do something, she had to work it out for herself. And to him it looked like she needed to work that out. He wanted so badly to prod her along in this conversation but he waited, knowing that she would speak when she was ready.

She stared at her coffee cup wishing it was three times its current size. If it was, she could stare at it longer before returning to the conversation with her dad. "I'm not sure that I'm the marrying type."

"Sweetheart that may be the stupidest thing you have ever said. And I remember your teenage years." Jim tried to add a little levity to the conversation, but he wasn't going to let her maintain that train of thought. He reached for her hand. "Katie I don't know what's going on in your mind so why don't you tell me, let me help."

She nodded as her eyes began to mist up. "Last spring I was close to ending it with him. He was supposed to go to Haiti but he stayed here and I thought he deserved one last chance." Jim quietly asked, "Why? Were you thinking of ending it?"

"With his travel for Doctors without Borders he was never home. And when he was, I was never available. Our schedules didn't mesh. I think that's why we hit it off so well, neither of us really had to commit but then I started to want more. And to his credit, he tried. He stayed for me but we didn't have much time to work on things before my… Well, you know."

"Yeah sweetheart, I know." A tight, timid smile crossed her lips. "Yeah, you do. Anyway the next thing I am waking up hearing him…not his voice, but another one telling me he loved me and there he was."

"I think you're going to have to explain that to me Katie. I'm a bit lost." She chuckled. "If you're lost, think how I feel. It was definitely Josh sitting there but I was hearing Castle's voice. It was so surreal. I don't understand why it was Rick's voice."

He smiled inwardly knowing she was going to have to work through why she wanted it to be Rick who said those words. In his mind that's what it was, she wanted to hear Rick say those words. "So what are your plans with Josh, he won't wait forever."

"I know. I told him I would let him know in a week."

"Whatever you decide Katie, I'll support you." He could see the weight of the situation weighing on her face. "I know Dad. I just don't want to make a bad decision."

"Katie through all of this I haven't heard you say that you love Josh. Do you, do you love Josh?" She returned to staring at the cup. "I think I could learn to." When she looked up she could see the tears in his eyes.

"Oh, Katie."

Xx

As she entered the Old Haunt, she looked around for Lanie. The morning with her dad had been emotional and she didn't want to go through the same questions with Lanie. She would talk to Lanie about it, but not today. Not seeing her, she glanced at Brian the bartender slash manager, the same bartender that Castle had noticed was skimming from the previous owner. Castle offered him the job with a hefty pay raise with the understanding that the skimming ended. He let his staff know that if they needed additional income from time to time to let him know. He would help them but he absolutely would not tolerate stealing. "Detective Beckett if you're looking for Dr. Parrish she's in the Boss's booth." She nodded. "Thanks Brian. Can I get a glass of Merlot please, the one that Castle always brings me?"

"Sure thing. I'll bring it right over." She headed around the corner to the booth that Castle had designated as the Twelfth Precinct booth. He didn't like to think that it was his booth. For all the grief she had given him about his ego, and some was deserved, he was very humble about some things. And his time at the Precinct and the Haunt were almost sacred to him.

"Hey girl, get your skinny butt over here." Kate made her way to the hug that was waiting from Lanie and took her place in the booth across from her with her back to the bar. "I have so many questions for you right now, but first how are you?"

"I'm good Lanie, never been better. Well, except for the scars on my body, I could do without those." She let a smile crease her lips, hoping Lanie didn't see through her act.

Lanie looked at her hand. "Let me see that rock girl. Kate just shrugged her shoulders and waived her hand letting Laine see she wasn't wearing a ring. "Okay sweetie, is this what you want?" She waved her hand at Kate's absent ring.

Beckett looked down at her hand and sighed. Looking up, Lanie could see the conflict brewing just under the surface. Kate was doing a good job of hiding it, but her eyes were giving her away. "Lanie, I don't know what I want. But I don't want to go over it again today, my dad grilled me pretty good earlier. I swear we should let that man have a crack at a perp in the box. He's a natural."

That drew a laugh out of Lanie. They talked and laughed for a few minutes before Lanie's attention was drawn to a large man at the bar. He was wearing faded jeans that fitted just a little snugly with work boots. He hadn't taken the time to pull his jeans down over his boots, the boots had been pulled up over his pants leg exposing the top of the boots. They were brown with an olive shaft. He was wearing a white tank top with a flannel shirt thrown over his shoulder. It looked like he had gotten hot and had taken it off. The sweat glistening on his shoulder indicated that anyway. But what was peculiar was the towel draped over his head and part way down his back.

"Damn girl, look at that." She pointed to the bar and Beckett turned around. "Looks like he works out a lot."

"Yeah, he does. Looks like he spends a lot of time on his legs, too." Lanie looked up at her with a smirk. "What, I can't appreciate a hot body?"

"Kate, you have a man with a hot body. Keep your eyes to yourself." She rolled her eyes and took a sip from her glass. "Josh tries too hard in the gym. He spends so much time on his upper body that he neglects his legs. I mean I like his arms and chest but I have always loved strong calves and thighs. Something about them get to me. It's like if they are big, the rest just falls into place, and you don't have to try so hard, you know?"

"I know Javi spends so much time at the gym and it shows. But that guy...look at his arms and back. He's naturally muscled. He has definition but not the kind that comes from weights. That man is just big. And I wonder…" Kate didn't miss the innuendo that Lanie had thrown out. And she would be lying if she said she hadn't thought the same thing.

Xx

"Boss, Detective Beckett and Dr. Parrish are in your booth staring at you." Brian continued to wipe the bar as he talked. Castle sighed and thanked Brian. "Give me a bottle of water and another round for them." Brian filled the glasses, placed the drinks on the tray, and Castle picked it up. "I got this, let me know when my helper gets here." He turned and started to the booth when he heard Lanie cry out, "Writer-boy!"

"Now how many times do I have to tell you it's 'Writer-man' Lanie? Emphasis on 'Man.'"

"If I knew you were hiding _that_ under your jacket, I'd have tried you out by now," Lanie retorted, straight to the point.

"Since I want to live, I'm glad you haven't. Esposito would have killed me." He let out a laugh and pulled up a chair, placing it at the end of the booth, effectively sitting between the two ladies.

Beckett was feeling the effects of the wine she had been drinking, after all it was her first glass since her shooting. She said, "Well Castle, if I knew that you liked to work out I would have invited you along before." As a mischievous and sultry look took the place of her normal stoic facade, she continued, "But I'm not too sure you could handle it. Most of the men I chose to 'exercise with' can't seem to keep up. They hit it." She turned up the sultry, "Hard," emphasizing the "D," "for a round or two but then they all seem to tap out. It's really frustrating." She looked over at Lanie whose eyes were as big as saucers. "Ya know?"

Never one to be outdone, Castle returned the quip but decided to turn it up a notch. "Well, you see De-Tec-Tive," emphasizing the hard consonants and drawing out the "tive," "I see where you made your mistake. You see, when I exercise I like to start out slow, making sure I pay specific attention to muscles that are hardly used. Too many times people tend to go straight to heavy lifting, ignoring some of the other aspects that make the workout enjoyable. And I never miss the chance to perform some of the more delicate ones that others tend to find tedious." He looked over to Lanie who seemed to be enjoying this banter a little too much as she motioned for him to continue. "Then I move on to 'Heavy Lifting' as you called it. And you see my dear detective," repeating the word the same as before, "I make sure that my workout partner is completely spent and sated before we are through. Even if it takes hours and multiple rounds."

Castle could see the rapid breathing and the darkening of Kate's eyes as she responded breathily, "That sounds…delightful." He leaned over to her and whispered the words that she had said to him so many years ago, "You have…no idea!"

He leaned back and laughed but was stopped dead in his tracks by her admission. "How can his words turn me into a puddle so fast?" She looked up at Lanie whose mouth was on the floor. "Shit! Did I just say that out loud?"

That got a gregarious laugh from the writer and before she could respond she heard, "Katie, I didn't expect to see you here." Turning to see her dad she replied, "Dad what are you doing here?" As she finished her question she saw her dad's companion. "Josh what are you doing here?" This time the question had a definite hint of anger in it that neither Castle nor Lanie could mistake.

Jim was the first to answer. "I'm helping Rick with the second floor kitchen." Sensing the interrogation was turning to him, Castle spoke up, "Yeah we are building out the walls for the new kitchen." Her eyebrows quirked upward into a question. "We're going to start serving food here and need a kitchen so I thought what the hell, I'll build as much as I can."

Lanie decided to give her girlfriend a little help. "Now just how in the hell do you know how to build walls?" He turned to her and sighed. "There's a lot of layers to the Castle onion that you guys don't know about. When I was in my teen's mother dated a set designer. I would help him with each new show they started and he taught me what to do." He turned back to Kate. "When I bought the loft I remodeled the office and master bedroom myself." He looked over to Jim. "Ready?"

"Yeah!" Jim leaned over and gave Kate a kiss on the cheek.

As they headed for the stairs, Josh moved the chair Castle had been sitting in and took a seat beside Beckett. He couldn't help but notice that she wasn't wearing the ring. ' _I thought she would be wearing the ring.'_ His thoughts were interrupted by Beckett's question. "And just what in the hell are you doing ruining my girls' day out?"

"It doesn't look like a girls' day out if you invited Castle." Venom spewed from his mouth.

"I didn't invite him, it's his damn bar," she replied angrily.

 **Thoughts?**


	6. Chapter 6

**I want to clarify the last chapter as I did not do a good job writing it. Jim and Josh only arrived at the same time, they were not spending time together. It was just a coincidence. Also Castle did not have Josh helping him as one reviewer suggested. He is being supportive of Beckett, but even I couldn't see him being that supportive.**

 **Again I own nothing.**

Chapter 6

The following morning Beckett woke from one of the most fitful and restless nights she had experienced in quite a few years. That was saying something for her considering the past few months. She rarely had quality sleep with her late hours and early mornings, but they were never this bad.

All she could think of on the way home was the banter with Castle on exercise and how it affected her. She was officially turned on by it. She'd been aroused by some of their earlier banter, but yesterday it had been taken to a whole new level. In addition, she had inadvertently let it be known that he could reduce her to a puddle of goo with just his words.

She saw the look that Castle had when he spotted the ring wasn't on her finger. It was only on his face for a fraction of a moment but she saw it. It could only be described as hope but it was instantly changed to hurt and longing and dare she say, betrayal? He instantly masked it when Lanie started flirting with him, but she saw it.

There was the look he had when Josh arrived...despair mixed with hopelessness. And then there was the look that Josh had - smugness. Yes, he was smug when Castle was around, why had she never noticed that about him before? Was it always there? She knew that Josh didn't care for Castle and vice versa, but to Castle's credit he had been nothing but supportive of her relationship with Josh. Why couldn't Josh be as supportive about her friendship with Castle?

And then there was Castle himself. She knew he was a big man but she never expected him to be built like that. To have the one thing that truly physically turned her on. She prided herself on not being one of those superficial women for whom looks and physique was everything. But she did have her likes, she liked a large framed man. One who, when his arms were around her, would engulf her. Made her feel safe on days when her job let her see the worst of humanity.

Lanie asked the question of all questions. Why? Why was she willing to marry Josh when they seemed so different? When it seemed like she wanted to be anywhere else but in his presence? And Lanie was shocked at the answer.

Josh was the only man who had ever told her that he loved her. Then Lanie called shenanigans on her. She asked Kate just what the hell the coffee meant every day. What getting up in the middle of the night to look at dead bodies meant.

When Kate just shook her head and shrugged her shoulders, Lanie went in for the kill. She asked about the day of the shooting in particular. She asked her how she could say that Josh was the only man who had ever told her he loved her when the entire group of funeral attendees heard Castle declare his love for her.

She was stunned. She had no idea what he said. Thinking back to that day, she could remember looking up into his eyes; he was speaking, but the words never made it to her ears. The harder she tried to hear them, the farther away they seem to be. When she asked Lanie for the words he said, Lanie refused and told Kate to ask Rick. That they need to talk about it themselves. That she should hear them from him, not her.

So now she sat at her kitchen table drinking her coffee. She had been up since six a.m. but couldn't go in to work til nine. She had a meeting with her new Captain and wasn't allowed at the precinct until the Captain gave her the go ahead. So she sat and thought. She had always known that Castle was attracted to her, he made no bones about the fact that he was. She even knew that he cared about her, but he never gave any indication that he ever wanted more. Well, that was a lie, she knew that he would move the heavens for her. He never asked her on a date, but to his defense, she wouldn't have gone. But the revelation that he loved her...well, that was something else entirely. If she really thought about it, she had known since the Coonan case that his feelings went beyond lust.

Now that she knew how he felt, she needed to decide how she felt. Did she love him already? As she sat there she had an epiphany. Here she was questioning her feelings for Castle and never once had she thought about the person who had proposed to her. What did that say about her? It said that she already knew what her answer should be, and if she was honest with herself she had always known.

She took a swig of her coffee and spat it back into the cup. It had gone cold on her. When was the last time that had happened? When was the last time she was so lost in thought that she didn't drink her coffee?

When she got up to refill her cup there was a knock at her door. She made her way over to the peephole and groaned. She opened the door, revealing her current boyfriend on the other side. "Hey babe." He went to kiss her but she backed away before he could. She turned and went into the kitchen and he followed. She made herself a fresh cup and steeled herself for what was next. As she turned around she caught him staring at the breakfast bar and the little black box on it.

"I guess I know your answer."

She straightened her shoulders and replied, "Yeah, I guess you do and for what it's worth, I am sorry." He started to move around bar wanting to take her in his arms but was stopped by her upraised hand. "Why? It's because of Castle isn't it?"

"No. It's because of me. I just don't think you and I work." Kate saw the look of betrayal in his eyes. She felt awful about it but she knew she needed to soldier on. "We lead two different lives. Doctors without Borders means too much to you to give it up forever. And I'm always going to be a cop. Sure we could make it work, but we'd always resent each other."

"He's going to break your heart you know."

"Or I could break his, and that's what scares me."

Joshua Davidson was used to getting what he wanted. He always had and this was no different. But the look on Kate's face let him know he'd already lost, so he did the next best thing. "Let me get this straight, you're throwing away what we have for that idiot?" When she didn't take the bait he fired again. "So what was it, he went a got a little girl who looks like you, is that what did it for you? Or is it the fact that 'Little Katie Beckett,' the girl who lost her momma, gets a ready-made family. Is that it?"

Beckett was fuming now. "Get the hell out of my apartment, and don't you ever come back."

He crossed the apartment stopping nose to nose with her. "You know, maybe I should pay him a visit and let him know just how fucked up you really are. How you'll never be able to be a mother to that little girl. How all you want in a relationship is a roll in the bed and a shower, expecting me to be gone when you get out." He stepped back, his eyes piercing hers. "But I guess he's used to sluts and tramps, what's one more?

"Well, if you were half as good in bed as you think you are maybe I wouldn't want your ass gone afterwards. Now get the fuck out of my house." With that Kate watched the only man to ever propose to her walk out of her life. And she was quite alright with it.

Xx

She was still fuming from the confrontation and break up when she entered the precinct, only to have her day thrown off even more. First she was told by the new captain that she had to go and requalify with her weapon before she would be able to discuss her duty status. After a quick trip to the range where she scored expert, she finally met with her new Captain, Victoria Gates, also known as Iron Gates.

"It's great to have you back Detective. You're an asset to the department. You and your team have the highest clearance rate in the city."

A sense of pride came over Beckett. She knew her team was good, really good. And if she didn't know it firsthand, Montgomery had shared their clearance rates with her. He had done so to prove to her that Castle was an asset. That was, of course, after one of her and Castle's legendary arguments. "Thank you ma'am." Gates looked up from the file she was reading. "If you see my mother you can call her ma'am. You will address me as Captain or Sir, understand?"

"Yes, sir."

Gates replied, "Okay, I want you on desk duty for two weeks. I don't want you in the field until we see how you are coping. You will still be in charge of your team but I would feel better if you were here."

"Yes, sir."

Xx

The rest of the week had gone as expected for Kate with one noticeable exception - no Castle. He hadn't called, texted, or visited. She wondered if Josh had followed through with his threat, but she knew that Castle would have been there in an instant if Josh had. She had half expected him to have shown up at the precinct anyway, but he hadn't and she was slightly annoyed by that. But to his defense, she hadn't reached out to him either. He didn't even know that she wasn't engaged.

She wanted him to know but she wanted to tell him in person, for him to be the first person who knew. So she decided to wait til the end of the week when she could tell him everything. She had decided she wanted to lay her cards on the table, and she desperately wanted to know what he had said in the cemetery.

"Hey Katie." She would know her father's voice from anywhere. "Dad, what are you doing here?" She swiveled in her chair, her hair flinging behind her as she turned. Taking up residence in Castle's chair, he asked, "What? I can't stop by to see my favorite daughter?" She blushed at his words. They were the same he used when she was a kid. It made her blush then and apparently that hadn't changed. "Yes Dad, you can stop by anytime you want to, you know that."

They sat in uncomfortable silence before Jim finally broke down and asked, "So did you resolve your… situation?" He looked around making sure no one had heard his question.

She looked up at him and returned to the file that was spread out across her desk. She couldn't believe he had asked her that question. Well, actually she could; he had been asking her the tough questions since she was ten. But she hadn't expected it today, not at work.

As he waited her out he looked around her desk. He knew that asking a personal question put her on the defensive and she needed time to formulate a response. So he began to examine her desk, wanting to look at anything but his daughter. He knew if he stared she wouldn't answer, that she would shut down. That's when his eyes landed on the elephants.

"You know Katie, your mom loved these. She always spoke about what a wonderful display of a family they were. And she loved it when someone asked her about them." He reached and picked them up as he spoke. She cleared her throat. "I remember going to her office from time to time and she would talk about them. She certainly did love them."

He smiled. "I bet you didn't know that when we were dating, I used them to send her little love notes." Her eyes lit up at that. "You see, we didn't want anyone in the office to know that we were dating so we used this and the miniature fishing boat I had on my desk to leave each other notes." She smiled brightly. "That's so sweet."

Turning the group of elephants over, he said, "You see the lead elephant is hollow. I would open it and sneak in a note. She would put one in the smoke stack of the boat. We tried to see who could surprise the other, you know, sneak a note in without the other one seeing." He toyed with the cover until he got it off revealing the hollow interior. "That's odd." Beckett's face twisted curiously, "What's odd Dad?"

"I don't ever remember giving her a cassette tape." Now even more curious Beckett asked, "What are you talking about?" He reached in and pulled out a mini cassette tape. "This, I don't ever remember giving her this. I'm not even sure I had one of the players these cassettes take."

"Ryan, see if we have a way to play this." She held up the tape and waved him over to see. "Sure thing boss." And with that he hurried off to look for a player.

Jim looked at his only daughter, "Well, are you going to answer my question?" She whispered, "I resolved it, and it got ugly fast. He said some of the cruelest things." His eyes immediately darted to her finger noticing the absence of any jewelry. His fatherly instincts took over and he reached for her hand, "Oh Katie, I don't know what to say. But remember Johanna's Immutable Law of the Universe."

"Life never gives us something we can't handle." Her eyes were bright with tears, blinded really. "Oh Daddy, tell me it will be okay. I mean I know I did the right thing, but I was still surprised at how he took it." His heart went out to his little girl. She hadn't asked for his approval or been this open since her mom passed. "If you didn't love him with all of your being, be willing to give him everything, and want everything from him, then I think you made the correct decision."

Ryan called out from the Audio Visual room that he had it set up. Kate mouthed to her dad "thank you." They rose and proceeded to the room. The elder and younger Beckett sat down at the table and Ryan handed Kate a mini tape recorder. As she looked at her dad, Ryan stepped out of the room saying, "I'm gonna give you guys some privacy."

Looking at her dad, she asked, "Ready?" He nodded and she pressed play. Both of them were lost in their memories of Johanna Beckett. That was until they heard a voice say, "I want that Beckett bitch dead by the end of the week. Do you guys understand? If she isn't then you'd better start looking for a good funeral director."

Kate's hand went to her mouth in startlement. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. And when she started to process it, she began to get lost in her head. She jumped up out of her chair causing it to fly back against the wall emitting a crash as it did. She staggered back against the wall; when she finally reached it, she began to move to her left. She stopped when she felt the corner and slid down the wall. She stopped moving when she reached the floor, curling up in a ball as she zoned out.

Jim Beckett was in shock. He had just heard the voice of the man who had ordered the death of his wife. Anger filled his veins. He wanted to kill the man whose voice he had heard. But more than that he wanted a drink or ten. Then he broke out of his thoughts and turned to see his daughter curled up on the floor. Rushing over to her, he heard her call out for Castle. "I just want Castle!" was her answer to all of her dad's questions. Ryan and Esposito rushed to the door only to be met by Jim Beckett's outstretched hand and stern look. "Get Rick here now!"

Xx

Castle and Alex had just entered a cab, heading home from the park when his phone rang. "Change of plans. Get me to the Twelfth Precinct now!" Arriving at the precinct he pulled out a wad of cash and gave it to the driver never asking the fare. He scooped up Alex and her bag and ran to the door. He was met by Ryan, who was opening the door and ushering him to the waiting elevator.

When he arrived at the fourth floor, he made his way to the door that Esposito was guarding. When Javi saw him, he nodded and stepped aside. What Castle saw broke his heart. Kate was sitting on the floor curled up, eyes glazed over and she had what could only be called a hundred mile stare. She was staring off in the distance, focusing on everything and nothing at the same time. As he moved into the room with Alex still in his arms, he was stopped by Jim. "Let me have her. You take care of my little girl and I will take care of yours."

Castle just smiled, handed Alex to Jim, and headed over to Kate. When he got to her, he sat down with his back to the wall mimicking Beckett's position. He reached around her shoulders and pulled her to him. "Kate, I'm here. I'm here Kate." With those words, her head snapped up, her hazel orbs locking with the blue of his. "What…what did you say?"

"I said I'm here Kate." She shook her head and asked again, "No Rick what did you say? Word for word." He thought, trying to remember what he said. "Kate, I'm here. I'm here Kate." Her arms snaked around his neck, her face nuzzling into his neck. "I know Rick, I know." He placed a small kiss to the top of her head as he held her in his arms.

They sat that way for what seemed an eternity but they both knew it wasn't. They were brought out of their little bubble by a small hand touching her arm. She looked up to see the most beautiful little face gazing at her. "KK?"

It had always amazed Rick that small children could tell when someone was in emotional distress. It seemed that just the slightest touch from a child could remedy that. This time was no different, he felt the immediate change Kate. "Oh, Alex come here." And Alex crawled up into Kate's arms. It wasn't lost on anyone watching from outside the conference room that a fundamental shift was taking place in that room. Beckett was sitting in Castle's lap with Alex in hers. Both girls were wrapped in the protective cocoon of Rick's arms.

Captain Gates was the first to comment on the scene. "They look like a little family." She turned to her two detectives that were standing beside her. "I didn't know that they were together," nodding toward the scene that was unfolding in the adjacent room. Esposito replied, "Oh, they're not." She turned to Jim who had momentarily forgotten the pain of the tape and smiled at what was occurring in the other room. "And those two call themselves detectives." He was now beaming at the thought. "Well to their defense...oh hell, I'm not defending those two!" leaving the two cops at a loss for words.

Rubbing small circles on Kate's back Castle said, "Kate, I'm taking you and Jim home. You two have had enough for today."

"Rick, please don't. I don't want to be alone in my place right now. Let's just sit here"

"Who said anything about your place?" He placed another kiss on her head. "I have plenty of room at the loft. We'll deal with the tape tomorrow okay? Nothing is going to change in a day."

She let out a breath that she didn't know she was holding. She really didn't want to go home tonight and now she wasn't. She was going to a place that always made her feel safe, going with the only man who had ever made her feel safe.

Gates looked at the two male detectives. "After they're gone, I want to know what the hell is going on. Do I make myself clear?"

Both of her detectives nodded. "Yes sir!"


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you all for reading.**

 **I own nothing.**

Chapter 7

Castle nudged Kate slightly, requesting her to leave his lap. She stood and wiped the tears away with the sleeve of her shirt all the while still holding Alexandria in her arms. She could not explain the comfort that the little girl was providing. Kate had always liked children, loved them really. But she had never had one grow so attached in such a short amount of time. Sure her cousin Rebecca's son, Carson, was clingy, always staying by her side when she visited Rebecca and her aunt Teresa, but never had she had one cling like this. And if she was honest, she needed it now like crops needed rain.

As Castle herded his little makeshift "family," for lack of a better description, out of the conference room he texted Martha and Alexis. He used the thread that Alexis had started a few years ago, La Familia. "Jim protocol," was all he needed to type. In an instant the reply came. He knew who it was without even looking, because Martha had yet to master the art of texting. "On it!" was Alexis's reply.

They made their way past Beckett's desk then Castle pulled Jim up by the arm. "You're coming with us." Before Jim could protest, Castle responded, "Listen to me. Kate is going to need her family right now and so are you. I'm not sure where Josh is right now. If I had to guess, I'd say he is on shift so that leaves you. And let's be honest, you need her right now too." Castle smiled. "You really don't need to be alone with your thoughts tonight. It could only lead to bad things."

Jim nodded. "I'm really not sure what we Becketts did to deserve you, but I'm so glad we have you."

With that they started for the elevator only to be stopped by Ryan. "Castle your stroller is in the lobby. The desk Sargent is keeping an eye on it." He looked back over his shoulder making sure no one heard his next words. "I'll make a copy of the tape and get you the original. We don't need this falling into the wrong hands. Oh, yeah, Espo has a cab on standby down stairs for you. It's been there for a while...sorry about the cost."

Castle just clapped his hand onto Ryan's shoulder. "Kate is lucky she has you and Espo. And don't worry about the cost, I think I can cover it." That broke the tension between the two.

"Do you think we could stop by tonight?" Ryan asked.

"Sure, but if they don't feel like talking please don't take it personally. I'm sure that Kate and Josh will need some time to cope."

They made their way out of the precinct. Kate had yet to relinquish her hold on Alex and it appeared that was okay with Alex. Alex's face was buried in Kate's neck as she rubbed little soothing circles on the toddler's back. Castle was not sure who was getting the most comfort from the act, Kate or Alex. But it was having a profound effect on Kate. Her tears were gone and the rapid breathing that plagued her earlier finally slowed.

When they entered the cab, Castle took the front seat. Jim and Kate along with Alex took the rear. Kate refused to let Alex out of her arms. She just shook her head when Jim tried to place Alex between then. So he buckled the seat belt around both of the girls in the back seat and nodded to the driver. Castle knew this wasn't the most ideal way to travel with a toddler but he honestly didn't have a better solution. He didn't have a car seat with him, and to be honest it was the same way he had traveled earlier in the day. He was ashamed that he hadn't thought of the car seat when he left the loft.

Xx

Ryan was on his way to his desk when Captain Gates called for him and Esposito to come to her office. When they entered, Gates motioned for one of them to close her door. After Esposito closed the door she motioned for the two detective to take a seat. Sitting down, the detectives watched her remove her reading glasses. "Just what in the hell was that?" she asked making sure her voice was low, so no one outside of the office could hear.

The two men looked at each other not willing to be the first to speak. "Well, I'm waiting!" Her voice was a bit stronger now.

Esposito began to speak while looking at Ryan. "Captain how much do you know about Beckett's past?"

Gates responded, "I know that she lost her mom in the most horrific way possible. I'm aware that she killed a man named Dick Coonan in this precinct. And that he was the one who had killed her mother." The detectives looked at her incredulously. "I **was** in Internal Affairs before I came here."

Ryan looked at Esposito with pleading eyes; his partner moved his eyes from side to side in an attempt to stave off Ryan spilling everything to the Captain. But Esposito's attempts did nothing to hinder Ryan. As Ryan began to speak, Javier threw his arms up in disgust and turned away from his partner, earning him a "Stand down Detective," from their boss.

After Ryan finished with his recital of the events including the part that Montgomery played, both detectives were startled when Gates spoke. "Damn it Roy! What did you get yourself into?" She hadn't meant to say that out loud and when she looked up at her subordinates she could see the shock on their faces. "What, you surely don't think I didn't know Roy? I knew him for twenty years. We served in the three nine as beat cops. I ended up in Internal Affairs and he moved on to Homicide." Javi just shook his head and replied, "We had no idea."

"Now how do we get that asshole Bracken who had Kate's mom and my friend killed? And do it without tarnishing a good man's name?"

"Sir, I think we need to take this tape to someone for safe keeping." She raised her eyebrows and Ryan continued, "I know you have a safe in here, but don't think for a minute that it will be safe. We are talking about dirty cops and DAs"

"Where then?" she asked. Both the boys replied in unison, "Castle!"

She placed her finger to her lips obviously thinking about the next move. "I think I'll make a few subtle calls to friends in the FBI. Maybe we can get them to open a quiet investigation."

Xx

Rick paid the fare while everyone else exited the cab. Kate headed for the door with a sleeping Alex in her arms and an obviously shaken Jim on her heels. They made it up the steps to the building's entrance and Eduardo, the head doorman, opened the heavy glass door. "Detective Beckett, Mr. Beckett, how nice it is to see you again." He held it open for Castle as he raced up the steps. "Mr. Castle."

"Thank you Eduardo," came from Beckett as she moved quickly to the elevator. He looked at Castle. "Is everything all right Mr. Castle?"

"Yes Eduardo, it's just been a long day." Knowing that he hadn't been told the truth but not wanting to overstep, Eduardo replied, "Okay, sir. Ms. Alexis and Ms. Martha are home."

When the door to the elevator car opened, Beckett went to the back left corner and leaned against it while placing a small kiss to the top of Alex's head. Jim took up residence in the opposite corner, wringing his hands then rubbing them over his ashen face. Rick entered and pushed the button directing the car to the fifth floor. As the door was closing he looked to the doorman, who was still standing outside the car. "Thank you for everything, and please let Detectives Ryan and Esposito up when they arrive."

Castle's front door opened in a whirl of bright prints and the scent of Chanel N°5. Taking one look at the young woman holding her sleeping grandchild, any unspoken anger that Martha might have had for Katherine washed away in an instant. She could see that the young woman was shaken to her core but was holding onto Alex for dear life as if to protect her from the monsters of the night. "Oh, my dear. Let me take her from you."

Unable to speak for fear of breaking down, Beckett just shook her head and moved toward the couch. When she reached it, she sat on the end rocking Alex in her arms, alternating between whispering soothing words that she wasn't sure that Alex could hear if she was awake, and kissing the toddler's head.

Jim followed closely behind Kate into the loft and made his way to the kitchen. His eyes darted toward the wine rack that was noticeable empty. His action didn't go unnoticed by the Rodgers/Castle clan.

"Jim can I get you a cup of coffee?" Hearing those words from Alexis, Castle had never been more proud of her than at that moment.

As Jim looked back at Castle and then to Martha, he realized that they had seen him search for something much stronger than coffee. And he realized that they would not let him fall tonight, and for that he was grateful. He owed it to Johanna to be there for Kate in her time of need. "Yes Alexis that would be nice."

Alexis just smiled and headed for the coffee machine. Most people had coffee makers but her dad had the most expensive coffee machine available. He said it was a necessity in his field of work. She didn't know if he meant writing or now as a pseudo cop. "Black, is that right Jim?" she called out as she reached the machine.

"Yes, that's right Alexis." After Alexis handed him his cup, he thanked her.

"Dad would you and De… I mean Kate, like one?"

Castle looked over to Kate who was slowly coming out of her daze. "I think hot cocoa for Kate and I, pumpkin." Alexis nodded and returned to the coffee machine.

Martha looked at her son. He appeared as though he carried the weight of the entire world on his shoulders. "Richard, what is going on?" Rubbing his face with the palms of his hands, paying particular attention to his eyes, Castle let out a sigh. "Kate and Jim found the evidence today of who was behind Johanna's murder. Needless to say it has hit them equally as hard and they are both looking for ways to deal with the news." Martha went to respond but was cut short by the sound of stirring from the couch. She nodded for her son to investigate what was going on.

Castle sat down on the far end of the couch from Kate. She was no longer rocking the youngest Castle but she still held her tightly. "I guess you think I am crazy huh? I mean I wouldn't blame you if you did. I crawled up in your lap and hijacked your daughter." She was now looking at him, her eyes red and puffy, trying to flash a slight smile but failing miserably to do so.

"No Kate, I think you are coping the best way you can at the moment, and if that means that you sit in my lap and curl up in my arms while you love on my daughter, well I'm okay with that. Please, never feel bad for loving on Alexandria." He thought he saw Kate blush at his words but in his mind he was sure it was just the emotions of the day.

Alexis delivered their hot cocoa. "Dad how would you feel about comfort food for dinner?" He nodded and Alexis continued, "I'm thinking macaroni and cheese, some of the spiral cut ham in the fridge and beans. Oh, and I almost forgot - cat head biscuits."

Castle looked at Kate who had an inquisitive look on her face as she mouthed, "cat head biscuits?" Castle turned to Alexis saying, "I think that would be great. And Detective, I will tell you all about them after we lay Alex down for a short while. It's been a long day for her."

He rose from his seat on the couch and closed the gap between them. He reached down and guided her up by the elbow and led her toward his bed room. "Since it's just for a short while, she can sleep in here."

She laid Alex down on the bed and placed a kiss on her head. Kate turned to Castle, wrapping him in a bone crushing hug. Being caught off guard, he waited a spit second before reciprocating. It was an action that didn't go unnoticed by Beckett. She pushed him away covering her mouth with her hand while calling out, "I am so sorry, I shouldn't have." And she headed for the door only to be caught by the same elbow that he had used to help her up minutes ago. He pulled her back to him and said, "It's quite alright Kate. I promise you it's quite alright."

He guided her out of his bedroom and into his office. He stopped at the chaise lounge motioning her to sit as he pulled his desk chair up in front of her. "I think I need to let Josh know where you are tonight. He'll be worried; I know I would be."

Beckett, who had laid back on the chaise just looked up at him. She was lost in his eyes, his quiet strength, and his love. Yes, his love for her. "Rick, I need to ask you a question and I need the honest truth. Can you give me that, give me the truth?"

He was perplexed at what she was saying. Why would she think he wouldn't give her the truth? "Kate, I would never lie to you, you know that."

She was still looking in his eyes seeking the absolute truth, finally trusting that he would never lie to her. "When I was shot, what did you say to me?"

Needless to say, Castle was caught off guard at the question. If he had a million guesses he wouldn't have guessed that question. He rose from his chair and began to pace. "Kate, I don't think answering that is a good idea." When he stopped pacing, his back was to her. He hadn't noticed that she had left the chaise and followed him. He only became aware when her arms snaked around him pulling his back to her chest, wrapping him in a hug. "Please Rick, I need to know. That is if you can remember them."

He sighed. She felt him stiffen, and he began to speak. "I will never forget those eight little words. I said, 'Kate I love you.'" And as he began the second sentence she joined in, her voice was almost a whisper, "I love you Kate."

Castle snapped around, breaking free from her arms and taking a step back. "You remembered, all this time you remembered and said nothing to me?" Anger crept into his voice.

"Yes…no…yes."

The anger was there now, there was no way he could hide it if he even wanted to. "Well, which one is it, my dear Detective?"

She sighed and turned around looking to return to the chaise. When she took her seat she began to speak. "I can see your face as plain as I can right now. You're bent over me, caressing my face and speaking, but I can't hear your words. The more I try to hear them, the farther away you get."

Curiosity was getting the better of him. He returned to his chair and motioned for her to continue. "When I was waking up from surgery, I could hear you saying those words. And my god, how much I loved hearing those words. They were drawing me out of my sleep, or coma for lack of a better word. The closer I was to waking, the stronger your voice was. When I finally opened my eyes, wanting to see you, wanting to thank you, it was Josh that was there. All I could think was that it was Josh saying those words, but I was hearing your voice." She smiled a self-deprecating smile.

He smiled the smile he used when he signed autographs, the one that if you didn't know better, you'd think it was real. But Kate knew better, she had seen it way too many times, and she was one of the few that he used his real smile on, the one that melted her heart. But his next words shattered her very being. "That's all well and good, and now you know that I love you, but that doesn't change a thing. You still belong to another man, and as much as it pains me, you are his, not mine."

After finishing his words he knew that he had messed up, her reaction lending credence to what he thought. "When the hell did I become property? What is it with men anyway? Did you ask me if I accepted? No, you didn't, you just assumed I did, just like that jackass." She had risen from her seat and was standing over him. "Listen to me and listen well! I didn't ask him to propose. I was mortified when he did! I just wanted to get out of here with my dignity." Her voice was no longer weak, it was in full detective mode. " **I. AM. NOT. ENGAGED.** Do you understand? In fact I kicked his ass to the curb on Monday!"

He was stunned, unable to put a coherent sentence together. "So you are not, you are not getting…"

She cut him off with a deep kiss, "I am not, I am not getting…" parroting back what he had said moments earlier.

Just then they heard a diva. "Thank God! You see, I told you Richard!"

Kate just smiled. It was the first smile that she could remember since their verbal sparring match on Sunday. "Now, how about you tell me about those cat head biscuits!"

 **Thoughts?**


	8. Chapter 8

**I own nothing.**

Chapter 8

Before they made their way out of the office Castle let Beckett know that her dad was not doing well. "He came in and immediately looked at the wine rack. As many times as he's been here, he's never done that. I'm glad I texted Alexis and put the 'Jim Protocol' into effect."

Confused, Beckett asked, "Jim Protocol?"

He just smiled down at her, somewhere along the way she took of her heels and the height difference was more pronounced than usual. Sure she was tall, but at six foot three he stood a good six inches above her without her heels. "Yes, the Jim Protocol. When he's stressed or upset and is here, all alcohol is taken to my gym, that way he isn't tempted. We do it before he arrives so he never sees it." He just smiled again and began to lead her out of the office.

She stopped in her tracks and turned back to look at him. "You're such a good man Richard Castle."

"Just a good man?" He smiled and waggled his eyebrows.

"I would say ruggedly handsome but that doesn't quite cover it. So let's just say you're wonderfully attractive." She looked away shyly but not before he saw her bite her lower lip and smile the most wonderfully timid smile he had ever seen.

Beckett headed straight for her dad who was sitting at the breakfast bar in the kitchen. As she reached him, she pulled him into a hug from behind. Her left arm was draped around his neck resting on his chest and her right was on his right upper arm. She leaned down and placed a kiss on his right cheek. "I love you Dad, please never forget that!"

Jim leaned to the left trying to catch her eye. When his eyes reached hers he said, "I've never doubted that, and remember I love you too. I know in the past I wasn't always there for you, but that will never happen again. And if I wasn't…" he looked over at Castle. "I think you have someone right here who will always be."

She blinked back the tears and moved to Alexis then placed her arms around her in the same way she had done with her dad. "Thank you for taking care of him. He's all I've got," she said softly.

Alexis never took her eyes off of her own dad, who was getting out the flour and milk. "I can say the same to you. You've made sure he was safe and I can never thank you enough for that. But please make sure he's safe from here on out." It was said so low that no one other than Kate could hear her.

"Deal!" Kate said and placed a kiss on the young redhead's cheek before pulling away, patting Alexis on the back as she did. "So you were going to tell me about these cat head biscuits."

"Oh Detective Beckett, you are in for such a surprise," Alexis said.

"Alexis, please call me Kate. Believe it or not, I do like to hear my name from time to time. Detective is who I am when I carry a gun, but when I'm here I would love to just be Kate."

That got a strange look from the young woman and before she could respond, Kate continued, "I know I have to be so much more at work than most cops. I don't want to sound full of myself, but I have to deal with the difficulties of being somewhat attractive in a male dominated world. Because of that I've built up a persona very similar to the one your dad uses for the press. But your dad has shown me that it's okay to leave Detective Beckett at the precinct."

Alexis turned in her chair and stood to face Kate. "I've always loved the way you can command a room, it's so much different than Grams. When you walk in everyone can see the aura of authority that you carry yourself with, but knowing that you can just be Kate, well that tells me that it's not all or nothing. You know?" She reached out, pulled Kate into a hug, and whispered, "You're welcome in our home anytime you want. Just don't hurt him, he's all I've got."

"Deal!"

The two men in the room just watched the proceedings in awe. They could sense a fundamental shift had taken place between the two women and neither one wanted to break their chain of thought. But that didn't stop Martha. "Alright, enough of this talk. Richard, you were going to tell Katherine about the biscuits." **.**

Startled out of his revelry Castle answered, "Yes, right Mother. I was on my first Storm book tour and stayed at a bed and breakfast in Savannah, The Spanish Moss Inn. Harold and Susan Johnston own the place and have for about forty years now. Anyway, the first morning Susan brought out the biggest and tastiest biscuits I've ever had. The reason they are called cat head biscuits is because they are the size of a cats head.I spent the next three mornings in the kitchen learning how to make them."

He was reaching in the back of the cabinet that Kate remembered, from her time staying here after her apartment blew up, housed all of the spices. He pulled out a can of lard. "Castle, what the hell are you doing? That's not healthy."

He just smiled, reached in the can, and scooped out a handful of lard. "I know, that's what makes these so good."

"So these biscuits are a walking heart attack waiting to happen?"

"Easy Kate, I've been eating these for years and I'm the picture of health."

Kate looked over at Martha and Alexis and stage whispered, "That remains to be seen."

Xx

After eating dinner Beckett had to admit that biscuits were the best she'd ever had and Jim had even asked for the recipe. Alexis announced that she was staying over at Paige's house, that they had a project for history due next Friday and wanted to work on it. Castle knew that wasn't the case. He suspected that it was a ruse to allow one of the Becketts to use her room. With the addition of Alex the loft no longer had a guest room, and his eldest daughter was offering up her room which brought a smile to Castle's face.

Castle went to get Alex up from her nap and Kate followed, stopping him in his office. "Castle thank you. You didn't have to do this for us, especially with everything that I did over the summer."

He put his hand to her mouth. "Shh, you and your dad are fam…friends, you guys are our friends and we would do this for anyone of our friends."

Kate looked at him, digesting what he said. What she decided to say next floored Castle. "No, not friends, we are so much more than that." She placed her hand on his cheek only to have him pull back. "Rick?"

Castle was in conflict with himself and it was visible to Kate, but to her credit she let him work it out before speaking. "Listen Kate, six months ago I wouldn't have pulled away from you, but that was before Alexandria. I have to think of her now, not just me."

Kate looked at him trying to determine where he was steering this conversation.

"I hope I'm not jumping to conclusions here, but I think that you feel something for me." After she nodded in agreement he smiled the smile that was reserved for her and continued. "Have you ever heard of dating with a purpose?"

She shook her head. "I can't say that I have."

"On that same trip when I first met Harold and Susan they introduced me to the idea. You see the idea is that you date someone with the sole intention of spending the rest of your life with them. I don't mean that on your first date you propose, but after a few dates, if there's chemistry, you both sit down and talk about a future. If one of the parties doesn't agree that they intend to spend their lives together, there are no more dates."

Kate looked up at him from beneath her eyelashes. "So the idea is to what, promise ourselves to each other?"

He smiled at her words, _promise ourselves to each other._ "Yeah that's the idea, there's no casual dating. You see with Alex, I don't know if I can do casual with someone around her. If she were to get too attached and then the person I was involved with left, I'm not sure how she would cope." He turned away from her. "She's the top priority right now, not me. I know that you just ended a long term relationship, and with everything happening with your mom's case, I don't know what to think or say."

He was searching for something to say, some way to let her know that he was serious about a future with her, but he couldn't bring himself to say the words. He didn't have to say anything though, Kate took care of that for him. "Rick look at me." He raised his eyes from the spot on his shoes that seemed to have caught his attention. "I want to figure out how to do this." She motioned between herself and him. "I think I should keep seeing my therapist. I want to keep seeing him so I will be able to deal with the aftermath of mom's case. But most of all, I want to see him so I can become the woman that you deserve. I want to spend my life with you, Rick, but I'm not sure I know how to do that right now."

Tears rolled down his face. "Kate it's me who doesn't deserve you, never forget that." She smiled and bit her lip. "I think we just agreed to date with a purpose."

"But we can do that slow right?" he asked as he looked down at her. "Like molasses in winter time," she replied as she grinned at him.

He smiled and nodded enthusiastically, drawing a smile out of Kate. "If it's alright with you, I'm going to run you a bath so you can relax and think about things and get my little girl up." Unable to speak Beckett just nodded.

Xx

Castle was chasing Alex around the living room when a knock came at the door. Alexis, who along with Jim was laughing hysterically at the scene, got up to answer the door. She was surprised to see two detectives and a medical examiner on the other side of the door. "Please come in, and excuse my dad. His inner child is coming out this evening." As they entered the loft Alexis called to her dad. "Dad, we have guests."

Castle grabbed up Alex and threw her over his shoulder hearing joyful laughing from his youngest daughter and amused chuckles from the adults. He turned to Lanie. "It's great to see you tonight Lanie." He looked over at the boys. "I guess it's okay to see you guys," he said, winking as he taunted them.

"Okay writer-boy, where is she?" Lanie noticed Mr. Beckett for the first time this evening. "Hello Mr. Beckett. How are you holding up?"

Jim Beckett was feeling better than he had in quite a while. The happiness in the loft was contagious and he was enjoying the feeling. He thought he should be close to breaking down at the revelations today, but he couldn't find it in himself to. If Johanna was here she would be right in the middle of all of this craziness. Coming out of his thoughts he answered, "I'm great Lanie, and how many times to I have to tell you to call me Jim?" he said as he gave her a mock glare, nowhere near the strength of Kate's or Lanie's own for that matter.

Castle spoke up. "She's in the bath. Go through the office and into my bedroom. The bath is the door on the left beside Linus the lion."

Looking at Castle with a gleam in her eye she picked up the overnight bag that she had set by the door and sauntered toward the office. "Your bedroom?" She smirked and disappeared into the office.

Xx

"Hey girl! Having fun in Castle's bath?" Lanie said with a smug look as she leaned against the door frame.

Reaching for the remote control, Kate turned down the volume on the bathroom's sound system. " _Leave it to Castle to have a top of the line sound system for the bathroom_ _," she thought._ The sweet sounds of Coltrane faded into the night. "Lanie, how can I help you?"

"You can start by telling me what in the hell you are doing in writer-boy's bathroom!"

Kate turned and leaned against the side of the tub, blowing bubbles from her bath out of her way.

"It looks like I'm taking a bath Dr. Parrish."

Lanie was stunned. She had expected to see a distraught Beckett not a playful one. "Okay who are you and what did you do with Detective Beckett?" she said playfully as she moved to take a seat on the edge of the tub.

"I gave her the night off."

"Good! She needs it." Lanie looked back at the door motioning to the bag. "I had Javi take me to your place so I could pack you a bag. I brought you a couple of days' worth of clothing. I wasn't sure if you would stay here all weekend or head to Josh's." At that statement Lanie noticed that Kate cringed. "He doesn't know you're here does he?"

"No, he doesn't."

"Don't you think you should tell him?"

Beckett steeled her resolve. "I don't really care if he knows where I am or not."

Lanie cocked her eyebrow in response while motioning Kate to continue. She wasn't disappointed when the detective resumed speaking. "I ended things with him on Monday. And it didn't go well. He accused Castle of adopting Alex so I would come running to him. Let's just say I lost it. He yelled, I yelled, and I kicked his ass out."

"That's the best news I've heard in months. He really wasn't right for you. I mean he was hot, so very hot, but he wasn't what you need."

Beckett decided to play coy, knowing that her best friend wouldn't hold her tongue. "What do you mean, not what I need?"

"Let's face it Kate, he wasn't what you need."

"And what do I need?"

"You need a Castle, that's what you need. And you know it!"

Kate threw her bead back in laughter. "I think you may be right. At least that's what I told him."

Astonished, that's what Lanie was...astonished. "You told him?"

Lanie couldn't tell if Kate was blushing or if it was the heat from her bath until she started to speak. When she did she turned even a darker shade of red. "I may have kissed him again."

"Hallelujah! No, wait... You kissed him again? Just when in the hell did you kiss him the first time?"

Yep she was blushing, and if she got any redder she would be the color of cranberry sauce. "We used it as a ruse to save Javi and Kevin from Lockwood. There was a guard so we faked being a drunk couple and when that was falling apart Castle pulled me into a kiss. Lanie, it was the greatest kiss I have ever had. I tried to ignore it, I didn't want to admit the effect it had on me." She smiled and touched her lips with her fingers. "I felt like I had cheated on Josh, and you know that I've never intentionally cheated on anyone. But I can't ignore it any longer."

Lanie decided to push Beckett a little more looking for answers. "So you said 'kissed him again.' Want to explain that?"

"I may have kissed him earlier tonight." Now Kate was well past red in the color palette and was pushing purple. Her face had the biggest grin that Lanie had ever seen. And she was giggling. Kate Beckett did _not_ giggle. "Then he told me about dating with a purpose and we decided to take it slow. I even said I would go back to therapy to insure I was able to be the woman that he deserves."

"Oh, Kate, I can't believe you! I always knew he would be good for you but I never expected him to be this good."

"Lanie hand me that towel please. I think I need to get out of here."

Kate was explaining dating with a purpose as she dried off with the towel Lanie had handed her. Lanie told her that she would put her bag on Castle's bed. "I think you'll be trying that out sooner rather then later anyway," Lanie remarked gleefully.

Xx

The sounds of Lanie's squealing filled the loft. The boys had been giving Castle the rundown on the plan Gates came up with to deal with the homicidal senator. But their thoughts were interrupted when the sound came from the office.

"Dude, what's going on in there?" Esposito wondered.

Castle looked towards the office door then back at Espo. "Just how in the hell should I know?"

Ryan cozied up to Castle. "After seeing you two, no make that you three..." He pointed at Alex who was playing with Jim at the moment. "...at the precinct, I think there's more going on with you and Beckett than you're letting on to right now. I think you need to remember that she's engaged, and you're playing with fire. If he comes after you, I'm gonna have to side with him even though I can't stand him."

When Ryan broke for air Esposito took over for him. "Yeah, I don't care how much I hate the guy, you don't mess with an engaged woman. That's part of the man code!"

"Yeah well, why don't you let me worry about me and you worry about whatever you worry about on normal days." They turned to see Beckett standing in the doorway of the office wearing an set of Batman pajama bottoms and a Captain Marvel tee shirt.

Castle reached down onto the floor making a dramatic display of picking his jaw up off the floor. He pointed at her with his index finger. "That is so hot! I never wear that shirt anymore. I got tired of explaining it to people."

She smirked. "No one knows Ms. Marvel?" She quirked an eyebrow as she spoke and sauntered towards him.

He looked her up and down. "Marry me, only my soulmate could know Ms. Marvel!"

Kate laughed and pulled him close to her. "You don't mind me raiding your drawers do you?" The sultry way she said it caused him to fumble his words and everyone else to laugh at his predicament.

"Kate you shouldn't talk about my drawers if we plan to take it slow."

She just laughed and whispered in his ear. "You're taking it slow, me not so much."

 **Thoughts?**

 **And anyone who can spot the movie reference wins…well the winner gets a hearty handshake.**


	9. Chapter 9

**I own nothing.**

Chapter 9

Kate stretched her arm out and marveled at the luxuriousness of the bed she was currently lying in. If she was willing to admit it to herself, she had dreamed of sleeping in this bed long before she pulled Richard Castle in for questioning during the Tisdale case.

She was drawn back to the heated discussion earlier when Castle insisted that she sleep in his bed. She had fought him tooth and nail, it was his bed after all. And truth be told, the first time she slept in it she had dreamt that he would also be there with her, but his chivalrous nature had him sleeping on the chaise lounge in his office, her dad in Alexis's bed.

She had quickly glanced over the room the evening before, when she passed through on the way to the en suite bathroom. Even when she and Lanie were alone in Castle's room she didn't take the time to really study her surroundings. Lanie had been too excited about the possibility of Kate's relationship with the handsome writer to notice anything.

Now that Kate looked the room over, she saw the space was quintessentially his. It was decorated in masculine tones of deep walnut and tans. There were three remote controls on the side table that must operate some hi-tech electronics hidden in the room. But what caught her attention the most were the large black and white photographs of a male lion and one of an elephant and its calf. " _I wonder if he had the elephant before he met me_ _?"_ she mused thoughtfully.

Kate looked over at her phone charging on the bed side table, three-thirty in the morning was too early to get up. She wished that her mind would settle down enough to let her get some sleep.

She had told Castle about her breakup with Josh. She had kissed Castle, and they had decided to _date with a purpose_ and to take that slow. She had offered to return to therapy to insure they had a strong foundation for their future. To top it all off she had teased Castle by wearing his pajamas, and had announced that they were going to try a relationship in front of Ryan and Esposito.

If it wasn't bad enough that her two partners had tried to intimidate Castle when they thought she was still with Josh, they went overboard at the news that she and Castle were going to try a relationship. They had used the most intimidating glares that the two of them could muster. But with the playful mood that Castle was in, he shrugged their attempts off with a grin and joke.

She decided to try to shut off her mind again and get some sleep when the iPad monitor began to flash. She remembered that Castle had told her that this let them know that Alex was up. She decided to silence the alarm and go to check on Alex.

She made her way to his bathroomand pulled on the robe that he kept on the back of the door. She took deep breath, wrapping herself in his scent, and headed to Alex's room. She stepped into the office and found him sound asleep. For someone who was rarely quiet, she was amazed that he didn't snore or snort in his sleep.

Making her way up the stairs she caught sight of Martha leaving her room. Kate waved her back, telling her that she would attend to the toddler. Martha smiled and returned to her room as Kate entered Alex's bedroom. "She's going to make a great mother," Martha whispered to herself as she climbed back into bed.

"Hey little girl, what are you doing up?" she cooed to the toddler as she scooped her up. When she felt the diaper on the girl she could tell it was time for a new one. She laid her back on the bed and went for the supplies. "Well, I've never done this before sweetheart, so let's hope I do it right. If I don't, let's not tell Daddy okay?"

Her voice got a smile and a curious look from Alex. Kate realized that Alex didn't know what she said so she repeated it in Russian. This drew a laugh and bigger smile from Alex. "I suppose I'm going to have to teach your daddy Russian," Kate said with a smile. Finishing up the diaper change, she looked down, pleased with her handiwork. "I guess no one will ever know this was my first time." She reached down and kissed the littlest Castle then felt Alex's arms slip around her neck. "How about I take you with me?" Kate scooped her up, picked up the storybook that was on Alex's nightstand and began to retrace her steps to Castle's bed. "If Daddy gets upset I'll take the blame." She closed the door to the room of the man who loved her.

Xx

Rick startled awake realizing that he hadn't checked on his daughter during the night. He decided to look in on Kate before he went to Alexandria's room. He told himself that he just wanted to make sure that she was okay after the onslaught of emotions yesterday. What he saw melted his heart. If he hadn't been in love with Kate Beckett before, he was head over heels now. She was laying on her back with a two-year-old curled up under her arm, both snoring lightly.

He gently closed the door and made his way to the kitchen. He put on a pot of coffee and got out the ingredients for pancakes; after all they were an edible way of saying "thank you for last night." And he was so very thankful that Katherine Beckett was mothering his daughter. If he was honest with himself that was one of the things that worried him - Alexandria not having a mother, or mother figure for that matter.

He knew what it was to raise a daughter without a woman's influence. After all, Alexis's own mother had never taken an active role in her upbringing. He had married Gina hoping that she was willing to fulfill that role but in reality he never gave her the opportunity. He'd put a wall around his daughter and wouldn't let his wife breach it. Even when they tried to rekindle their relationship a couple of years ago, he still had that wall around Alexis and was surprised when Gina called him on it.

Alexis had wanted to take Ashley to the Taylor Swift concert and Gina purchased the tickets without checking with him. He was upset that she had taken that step without asking him first. That led to her giving Alexis the tickets in both of their names. Gina had tried to relieve the tension but they both knew that they were headed down the same road as before. And truth be told it was the beginning of the end of their relationship. This time he had no one to blame but himself.

Lost in reflection, he didn't hear Jim Beckett come down the stairs. "Do you mind if I have a cup of that, son?" Castle turned and nodded. "Coming right up Jim."

Jim smiled. "I wasn't sure if you were up but I was hoping you would be. I watched Alexis use that contraption last night for what seemed like the hundredth time, and I wasn't sure if I would be able to operate it this morning," he said with a laugh. "I don't usually have coffee like this at home. I still have an old fashioned percolator."

Castle's head snapped around. "Really?" Smiling back, Jim replied, "Really!"

He handed Jim his coffee and the older man took a deep draught from the cup. Jim looked up at the younger man wanting to ask a question but nervous about the implications. "Rick, can I ask you a question? Surprised, Castle nodded. "Jim you're my friend, you can ask me anything."

Letting out a deep breath Jim decided to jump right into it. "Well after hearing you and Katie last night with her partners, I have to ask you. What exactly are your intentions towards my daughter?"

"Marriage!" Castle surprised himself by saying it so bluntly. But that was where his heart was and he didn't want to analyze his feelings to death. He loved her and wanted to marry her. "However that will only work if she's able to put her demons behind her and join our crazy family." He waved his arms around gesturing at the loft. "As much as I love her, I have Alex to think of as well as Alexis. I know that Alexis is leaving for college soon, but Kate would still be a big part of her life. I want to know that when my daughter needs to deal with the things that only Kate could help her with, that Kate is willing and able to do so. Mother has fulfilled that roll for the past eight years, but let's face it, my mother isn't a typical mother. And I think that in the future Alexis will need a steadier influence than Martha Rodgers. Even though Alexis is eighteen she will still need advice going forward. And I pray to god that Kate is willing to fill that role for her. You see Kate needs to be all in, and right now I know she isn't, but she's willing to work on it."

Castle paused to take a drink of his own coffee then continued. "I've known a few women, although not as many as you would think, but none have ever met my daughters. Kate's the only one who has ever been worthy of being in their lives. I just hope I am worthy of being in hers. So I guess that's the long and short of my answer."

Jim took a few minutes to look over his friend and snickered before speaking. "Well, I never thought I would tell one of my friends that I hope he can make it work with my daughter. But son, I hope to hell that both of you can make it work. She needs you and I think that she's finally admitting that to herself."

Xx

Beckett was awakened from sleep by the smell of coffee. No matter how tired she was the night before, the smell of coffee always brought her out of her slumber. She looked over at the little brunette and placed a kiss on her head, slipping out of the bed trying not to wake her. She reached for the robe that she had worn earlier in the morning and headed for the kitchen. She turned the corner and reached the living room to see her dad and Castle deep conversation in the kitchen. She cleared her throat to draw their attention, not wanting to eavesdrop on what they were talking about.

How things had changed! Six months ago she would have been petrified to find her dad and Richard Castle sitting at a table talking. But seeing the two most important men in her life together just felt right. There was no way she could envision Josh sitting with her dad. Not ever. "Can I get a cup of that Rick?" she asked.

"Ah, my dear detective! I was wondering how long it would take you to smell the coffee!"

"Kate."

"Kate?" His eyes squinted as if asking what she was talking about.

"My name is Kate, and believe it or not, I like hearing it from time to time."

"Okay Kate, I'll try and remember that," he said smiling the way that always made her go a little weak in the knees.

"So what are you two guys talking about?" She reached out for the knife in his hand eyeing the fruit on bar. "Let me cut this up while you start the _thank you for last night pancakes._ "

Castle had a coughing fit. "Kate you can't just say things like that to me."

She turned to her dad with a hint of mischief in her eyes, one that he couldn't remember seeing since Johanna died. "Oh Rick, I'm pretty sure I can say just about anything to you. If I say it the right way, Kitten," she purred.

Xx

The three of them laughed throughout breakfast when Jim told stories of a young Kate and Kate told stories of Castle's antics at the precinct. As they finished their breakfast Kate announced that she was going to get dressed. "I want to be ready when Captain Gates gets here." She missed the sigh that Castle let out as she left the room.

He shrugged his shoulders and glanced at Jim. He could see the anxiety that was welling up in the older man. "I think I need to talk with her. Please excuse me Jim."

He walked into his office and called to Kate who was in his bedroom. "Can I talk with you please?" A startled Kate called out, "Just a sec." It was more than a second until she came out. It was closer to five minutes, but she finally walked out of the bedroom towel drying her hair.

Castle motioned for her to take a seat on the chaise and pulled his office chair around to face her. "Kate, can I ask you a question?" She met his eyes as she furrowed her brow in confusion, almost willing him to continue. "When you left for Stanford it was a wonderful yet scary time for you, I would imagine."

She nodded in agreement and he continued. "I would guess you came back at the first break excited to see your family, and well I know what happened next." Through misty eyes she whispered, "Yes."

"And I know what that did to you. But what I want to ask you is what would have happened if your mom didn't die. Have you ever thought about that?"

"Only every day Castle." He could tell she was getting aggravated.

"Well indulge me as I tell you what I think would have happened, and before you get angry, please remember I have Alexis and I'm pretty sure this is what is going to happen with her."

Beckett looked down at the floor and nodded. He could see this was a conversation that she didn't want to have with him but she was willing to do so for Alexis's sake. Or so she thought. "You see I think that by the second year you wouldn't want to make the cross-country trip as often. Or at least that's what you'd tell yourself. You would still come home for Christmas but for spring break, you'd head to Cozumel or Cancun. And then when you graduated, you'd stay for law school. Oh, you'd have seen your family every year but they wouldn't have been in the forefront of you mind."

"You're wrong Castle, you're so very wrong." He could hear the pain in her voice. He really hated doing this to her but he needed her to see and understand.

"I don't think so. Anyway, after law school you'd take the bar in California. After you passed, and you would have passed it the first try because that's who you are, you might have even stayed in California. Let's face it, who would really want to spend winters in New York when you could stay in sunny California?"

Her annoyance was morphing into anger. "Is there a point to this story?"

"Yes, my dear detective, and we're almost there. You see, you would start your life, meet a guy, get married, build a life together, and maybe even have kids. You would spend the rest of your life with the love of your life."

He paused to let his words sink in before he continued. "Now Jim did that. He met the love of his life and married her. And she was taken from him. All of the pain that you feel? His is multiplied tenfold. He had spent twenty-three years with your mom and I guess he still had thirty or so left with her. You see I'm not telling you what to do, but I think that he needs you more today than Gates needs you at the precinct."

Her hand was covering her mouth, trying to contain the uncontrollable sobs that were escaping. "Oh my god!" And the sobs wracked her body once more. She rose from her seat and ran out of the office straight into the arms of her father.

As Castle began to rise from his chair he heard his daughter calling for him. "On my way Alex."

 **Thoughts?**


	10. Chapter 10

**I want to thank everyone who has favorited and reviewed this and all of my stories. I know that I don't take enough time to respond to each and every one. My life and work is extremely hectic and it leaves me with little time to write let alone answer everyone.**

 **I also want everyone to know that I am not going to abandon any of my stories, and with the holidays over maybe I can find a little more time to work. The difficult thing I have learned is to complete one before starting another.**

 **Again I want to thank LadyAilith for her continued support and her friendship in all of my endeavors. I also owe a debt of gratitude to Pen to Paper for his encouragement. He had cheered me on when I was a little blocked.**

 **Again I own nothing.**

Chapter 10

Kate ran out of the office and into the kitchen only stopping when she grabbed her dad. "I love you so much! I know you need me and I am so sorry for the thoughts I had this morning." The tears were flowing down her cheeks. "I'm so sorry." Jim placed his hand on her back, rubbing soothing circles all the while kissing the top of her head. When he wasn't kissing her head he was telling her it was alright.

Castle and Alex were watching the proceedings from the doorway of the office. He felt horrible for the way he approached the situation earlier but she needed to see that her dad was hurting so much more that she was. And if she couldn't see that would she ever be healed enough to have a go at a family? He was sure that they both wanted it, but he wasn't convinced that she could defeat her demons, her almost unquenchable thirst for justice.

They were startled from their little bubbles, the Beckett and the Castle bubbles, by the sound of a knock on the door, but before anyone could answer, the door opened. Standing there being ushered into the loft by Alexis was Captain Gates. "I found a guest waiting at the door."

"Captain Gates, welcome to my home." The suave page six voice came out only to draw a round of eye rolls from Kate and Alexis. And at that moment he was sure that Alex was taking notes, trying to perfect her own eye roll. "Castle put away the page six voice," Beckett said as she turned to Gates. "Welcome Captain."

Feeling thoroughly chastised Castle asked the Captain if she wanted any coffee or breakfast. She politely refused the offer of food. "But I must say I have grown extremely fond of your coffee machine at the precinct, so if you would make me a coffee I would appreciate it."

"Of course." He went about the task of making her drink as she sat down at the breakfast bar beside Kate. "Detective Beckett, first of all I want to tell you how truly sorry I am for your loss. Both that of your mother and your mentor." She paused as Castle placed her coffee in front of her, looking up with a tentative smile. "And the loss of my friend. You see Roy Montgomery and I went back twenty years or so. We were in patrol together."

Beckett just looked at her new captain and nodded as Gates continued. "I want you to know that about the same time we started, a friend of my husband started with the FBI. Now some twenty years later he is the Senior Agent in Charge of the New York office." Kate didn't know what to say so she remained quiet trying to see where this conversation was going. "I have asked him to take over this investigation."

"But sir!" Kate protested only to be met by Gates' raised hand. "Detective, I didn't make this decision lightly. It pains me to say that we as the 12th Precinct's Homicide Department cannot investigate the death of one of our own let alone a death in one of our officer's family. But the fact of the matter is that there are too many people tied to this in our department. There are too many corrupt cops that could be on his payroll. I want this son of a bitch and I want it to stick. No way he walks and no way he gets wind of an investigation. We both know he is powerful enough to bury the case or he could just skip the country."

Beckett just sat there silently. Everyone in the room was giving her space, letting her come to her conclusions. Castle was holding his breath; this was the first test of her attempt to be more for them. "You're right Captain, of course you're right but that doesn't mean I have to like it."

Castle placed his hand on her shoulder. "No you don't Kate, but we all want an airtight case." She placed her hand on his, looked up and smiled at him.

The captain continued. "There is going to be a FBI agent at the precinct Monday morning. You and your team will be working with him to make sure of things on our end."

"But sir, won't that be suspicious if there are eyes and ears at the precinct?" Castle chimed in.

"We will have to chance it. It's not uncommon for the FBI to be in a precinct and with all of the cases that your team and the FBI have worked on together it won't seem too out of place. Now that we have the first order of business out of the way we come to the second. Mr. Castle can you come into the precinct on Monday afternoon, say at two o'clock?" Castle looked at her and nodded yes. "Good. Now the last thing I want to talk about is this." She moved her hand, waving it between Beckett and Castle.

Castle looked for guidance from Beckett, not willing to speak about their budding relationship, not wanting to say the wrong thing. They hadn't spoken about how to handle this. Kate cleared her throat, attempting to gather her courage. "We have decided to pursue a relationship. It's in its infancy, we're just trying to figure us out." She looked back at her new boyfriend, no that wasn't right, they were so much more than that. Her partner, that's what he was, her partner in work and if this worked out, her partner in life.

"Okay, just so you know Mr. Castle doesn't work for the NYPD and with that, the No Fraternization rules do not apply to him. But I better not catch you two in the supply closet!"

This drew the first words from Jim. "I should hope not!" Which drew a glare of epic proportions from Kate. "Doesn't work on me, remember **I'm married** to your mother." Everyone in the room didn't miss his statement.

Castle felt it was time that he spoke as this conversation seemed surreal to him. "Captain Gates, I just adopted a daughter and with that I intend to be a stay-at-home-dad the same way I was with my older daughter." He smiled at Alexis and she returned one to him.

Gates rose from her seat, thanked him for the coffee then excused herself, heading for the door. "Just be in my office on Monday afternoon Mr. Castle." And with that she departed.

Castle looked at Beckett and asked, "What in the hell was that?"

'Rick, I don't know, but that just cost you ten," she said smiling.

"Dammit!"

"That's twenty!" smirked Alexis.

Xx

Later that day Beckett was sitting on the couch along with Alexis who asked, "Kate are you and your dad staying again tonight? I'm going to Paige's again, we still have some work to do on our project."

Beckett could tell the young woman wasn't telling the entire truth. If she had to guess Alexis was staying away so there was enough room in the loft for her dad and herself. "Only if I can cook dinner and you are here to eat it young lady," she said smiling the entire time she spoke.

Castle came out of his office with Alex in tow. She had needed a bath since she and Castle had a spirited finger painting contest which Kate and Alexis had judged. Needless to say Castle came out on the losing end.

"Beckett did I hear correctly, you're cooking?" He was somewhat suspicious. "Do you even know how to cook?" he said with a Cheshire cat grin on his face as he stopped beside the couch.

"Rick you know I can cook, and didn't I ask you to call me Kate?" She playfully slapped his upper arm, somewhat surprised by the firmness of his biceps. "I told Alexis that we would only stay if I could cook dinner."

Before he could answer her his phone rang. "Castle."

"Mr. Castle I need to speak to you about Detective Beckett," an unknown voice on the line stated. Castle returned to his office while the rest of the adults cooed over Alex. "Okay, what do you want to talk about?"

"Not over the phone, can we meet at your bar in say one hour?" Castle looked at his watch by habit, knowing he could make it to his bar in plenty of time. "Sure, I'll be there."

"I'll be waiting in your booth. Don't be late." With that the line went dead, leaving a stunned Castle staring at his phone. Five minutes later he was out of the loft after explaining that Brian needed something out of the safe in his office. It was a lie, but he was sure no one in the loft caught onto it.

Xx

Castle entered the bar and saw a distinguished-looking man in his mid-fifties sitting in his booth drinking what looked like a scotch. He stopped by the bar and asked Brian how long he had been there, finding out that he had arrived only minutes before.

Castle took a bottle of water and made his way to his booth. "Hello Mister… Well, I'm not sure what to call you," Castle said reaching out his hand offering a handshake.

"Smith, you can call me Mr. Smith," he said taking the proffered hand.

Taking a seat across from his guest Castle said, "Sure thing Mr. Smith, now how may I help you?"

"Before Roy Montgomery died he sent me information that he was using to protect Detective Beckett. Now this information is very damaging to a certain person and he would do just about anything to get it back."

Castle was seeing red. "You had this? She was shot and you had this? You had information that could have ended this, keeping her from getting shot and you sat on it?" His voice rose with each sentence to the point where it grabbed Brian's attention at the bar.

"No, Mr. Castle, I did not have it prior to her shooting. I received it afterwards."

Castle calmed slowly, taking deep breaths in through his nose and exhaling slowly out through his mouth. When his emotions were under control he spoke again. "Okay, why are you talking to me? Why not give it to the police?"

"You see, Roy was a very dear friend of mine and I owe him a debt of honor that I can never repay. I haven't taken this to the police because I will not have his name tarnished. That's not an option that I am willing to accept."

Castle opened his bottle of water slowly taking a sip. After recapping the bottle he steepled his hands in front of him just the way Montgomery would do when he wanted to make a point. "I don't think you can protect his name any longer. You see there's an audio tape upon which a young district attorney can be heard ordering a hit on Joanna Beckett and the police have it. So the best thing that you can do is to turn over that file and let us end this once and for all."

Smith looked at Castle surprised at this turn of events. "I'll turn this file over only if you can guarantee that Evelyn and her children continue to receive Roy's benefits no matter what happens. Don't look so surprised Mr. Castle, I only care about my friend's family. I could give two shits about your pretty detective."

"Okay asshole what do you want?"

"I know that you're friends with the Mayor and the Chief of Detectives. I'm sure they could guarantee that Evelyn is taken care of."

Castle was now seething. "She already **is** taken care of. There's a trust fund set up for each of her children that not only covers their education but also gives them a jump start on life. And Evelyn, whether or not she receives Roy's benefits, is taken care of for life. So again I ask why do the police not have this file."

Smith rose and before heading for the door he said, "Have proof of your claims here Monday at nine in the morning and I will give you the file." And with that he left the bar.

"Boss, he left without paying for his drink," Brian called out.

"Of course he did."

Xx

Monday morning came with Castle and Beckett sharing his bathroom preparing for their day. As he brushed his teeth he thought back to the past couple of days. Saturday night Kate cooked dinner then they all played a very competitive game of scrabble. Much to his surprise Kate beat him four out of the six games played.

Later that night, when it was time for bed Kate insisted that he sleep in his bed. He, of course, refused but to no avail. But he was surprised when she curled up beside him pressing her cheek to his chest. She said that there was no need for anyone to sleep on a couch, _they were adults after all, well at least most of the time._ Sunday was a repeat of Saturday with both Rick and Kate cooking dinner, but Jim had left with a friend for a planned fishing trip. He and Kate agreed that he shouldn't put it on hold not knowing when the arrest would come. Jim had protested but he eventually gave up and agreed.

"Would you hand me the toothpaste please?" Kate asked reveling in the domesticity of the morning.

"Sure, here you go." He handed it to her as he grabbed his razor and shaving cream.

"So you never told me why you had to get up so early this morning. I know you have the meeting with Gates but that's not 'til two."

He began to pull the razor across his cheek while trying to talk. "I have a meeting I need to take about the Haunt, issues with the kitchen construction." He knew if she found out she might just kill him. But this was important, this might just help close this case sooner rather than later, and that was a chance he was willing to take.

After dressing he grabbed the paperwork he printed out last night from his business manager, Steve. Kate came out of the bedroom just as he placed the paperwork in his messenger bag. She went around him, opened the safe, and grabbed her badge and gun. "I'm going to call Dr. Burke this morning and set up an appointment for this week. I'll try to get one tomorrow morning. I've had the first appointment every Tuesday morning for the past three weeks." He just looked at her as if to question what she had just said. "Psych eval. And I was serious about making sure that when this is over I'm able to be what you, Alexis, and Alex need."

He was surprised at the determination that he saw in her eyes. He knew that she wanted this but was surprised at the fight he saw there. She was going to fight for this and that's when it hit him. If she was fighting so would he. "Kate, you just keep being you. That's enough for us to get there." He pulled her into a hug and kissed her lightly surprising both her and himself. "I'm never letting you go, you know that don't you?" She just nodded. "I'm willing to do whatever I need to do to make this work, too. If I need to go with you, or see someone myself, well, I'll do it.

Because I love you." He kissed her again.

"What happened to going slow?" she asked with a sly grin.

"After this weekend I saw what we could become. And let's face it, I have never been a very patient man."

Xx

Beckett walked into the precinct at eight and immediately dropped her bag into her desk drawer then headed for the break room in need of a coffee. Castle had made her one this morning but during the rush this morning she forgot it. ' _I won't make that mistake again_ _,_ _'_ she thought to herself. As she made her way back to her desk she noticed that the captain's blinds were closed.

She sat at her desk and opened her email, beginning to read it when Captain Gates' door opened.

"Detective Beckett come in here, please." Kate followed her into her office and was surprised at who was already in there. "Detective I think you know Agent Sorenson." Before she could answer Will was up and closing on Beckett. "Kate, I don't think I have the words." He was inches away peering into her eyes.

"Thank you."

Gates cleared her throat. "Detective Beckett, Agent Sorenson will be running point for the FBI from here and I want your team to assist him. Make sure he has everything we have on this case." She looked over to Sorenson who hadn't left Beckett's side. He was standing even closer then he was before, way too close to be acceptable in a place of work. "Agent I want this closed soon, I don't want it to drag out. I have spoken with your boss regarding this case and he agrees it needs to be handled quickly and quietly. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, Captain." He knew a dismissal when he heard one and he headed for the door. "I'll set up in one of the conference rooms."

"Kate, can I have a minute?" Gates asked. "Of course sir." She looked at Will letting him know that she would follow.

"Kate is there something I should know?" she asked nodding to the door through which the agent just exited.

"Sir, Agent Sorenson and I had a romantic relationship a number of years ago, but that ended when he chose Boston over us."

"You have got to be kidding me! He said he worked with you a few years ago on a kidnapping case," Gates said.

"Yes sir, he requested me on that case. Montgomery assigned my team as well as Castle to assist."

"Why would the FBI request a homicide team on a kid…Wait, did you say Mr. Castle?"

Kate nodded. "Yes sir, it was one of the first cases with which he assisted us." Gates did not miss the fact that Kate said "assisted" not that he followed her. "So Mr. Castle helped on a kidnapping case."

Again Kate nodded. "Yes sir, he even volunteered to deliver the ransom, against my better judgment I might add. But he was the only non-cop there and we didn't have much of a choice." Noticing Gates' raised eyebrow she didn't back down. "He did great, actually he broke the case. He noticed that the little girl had a rabbit with her in every picture in the home and we couldn't find it. So the kidnappers knew that about her. With that knowledge we determined that it was the mother and aunt who took the little girl. It was all about money."

Gates looked out at the bullpen watching Sorenson head to the breakroom. "I'm guessing that he wasn't impressed with Mr. Castle and your partnership."

"No sir, he wasn't," Kate said.

"And if I had to guess, Agent Sorenson wanted to rekindle his relationship with you."

"Yes sir."

"And I suppose he doesn't know that you and Mr. Castle are attempting a relationship."

"No sir, he doesn't."

Gates just shook her head. "Then let's get him out of here as soon as possible. And keep me apprised of any issues that might come up." As Kate left the office Gates shook her head. "What a mess."

Unbeknownst to Kate, when she closed the office door, Castle was leaving the Haunt with the file that she didn't know she needed.


	11. Chapter 11

**Well here is another chapter. I hope you enjoy it.**

 **I have some bad news, I keep all of my work on a flash drive and there has been an accident. I dropped it in my office and while looking for it I stepped on it. It is amazing what the heel of a boot does to plastic. And all of my notes and partial chapters for all three of my stories have been lost. Needless to say this has totally bummed me out, but I will start again.**

 **I own nothing.**

Chapter 11

Castle strolled into the precinct at eleven-thirty with Beckett's usual latte in hand. He made his way to her desk only to find it empty. He looked to Ryan to ask Beckett's location only to be interrupted by Captain Gates.

"Missssterrrr Castle you're here a little early."

"That I am Captain Gates but it's for a very important reason." Castle looked around the bullpen seeing the usual complement of officers and detectives he asked, "Do you have a minute?"

Gates invited him into her office and closed the door. "Now how can I help you Mr. Castle?"

Upon telling Gates his story of the meeting with his new friend Mr. Smith, the captain immediately had Castle follow her to the conference room that Sorenson appropriated. As they reached the door he was stricken by what he witnessed. "Sorenson." It was a whisper that did not go unnoticed by the captain.

Sensing that someone was at the door Beckett looked up from the files that she was currently going over with Sorenson. She could feel her smile stretch her facial muscles, and she didn't care who saw it. She could feel the joy welling up from her soul, the effect that Castle had on her was astounding.

Castle was the first to speak. "Detective Beckett, Agent Sorenson, how are you doing this fine morning."

A chorus of _Castle and Writer-monkey_ came from the two seated the conference table. The latter name drew a head snap and glare from Beckett as well as an, "Agent Sorenson!" from Gates.

Castle spoke up again, never taking his eyes off of Sorenson. "No Captain, don't worry about that. It's just a term of endearment that the FBI has for me." Castle gave Sorenson a Cheshire grin effectively letting the agent know that he wasn't intimidated by him.

"Rick what are you doing here? I thought your meeting wasn't until two," Kate said with the smile still on her face.

"It's not, but I came across something that pertains to this case and I thought I should get it to you as soon as possible."

Beckett quirked her eyebrow and cocked her head to the side but didn't speak waiting for Castle to tell his story. She knew that he couldn't just come out with it, he had to do it his own way. She had worked with him for four years and knew his method, but that's not to say that Sorenson did. "Okay out with it Writer-monkey."

Castle and Gates entered the room then the captain turned to close the door, but not before Ryan and Esposito entered. Castle took a seat across from Beckett just now noticing how close Sorenson had pulled his chair next to Beckett. Gates took the seat beside Castle with the other detectives taking the ends of the table.

Castle inhaled deeply through his nose and blew out his mouth trying to steady his emotions. He knew that this conversation would be difficult when he explained that he'd covertly met with someone directly about this case. "I received a call on Saturday from someone who said he could keep Detective Beckett safe."

"Wait a minute. When you left the loft you said you had to meet Brian about some business with the Haunt."

It did not go unnoticed by the agent that Beckett had been with Castle on Saturday. "The loft?" Sorenson asked.

"Really Will? That's the first question you asked? The loft? Yes, my father and I spent the weekend at Castle's loft." She turned her gaze back to Castle. "We're not done talking about this, but please continue." She made a hurry up motion by rolling her wrist with two fingers extended.

"I met a Mr. Smith at the Haunt and he said he had a file that Montgomery sent him with information on Bracken. He said Montgomery had used the file to keep you safe, Kate. He wanted me to insure you didn't continue to investigate; he said he had the same deal in place that Roy did. One that would keep you safe. But the file didn't make it to him before you were…well, before you were…injured." He couldn't bring himself to say she was shot.

Kate leaned forward and spoke and when she spoke it was with a whisper. "You shouldn't have met with him." No one missed it when she reached across the table for his hand. "You have a family to think about. Think about Alexis, Alex, and even your mother."

That drew a smile from Castle. "And you. We may be moving slowly but you're still very important to me. And there is no way in hell that I will let anything happen to you again."

Sensing that his two friends needed a little time alone Ryan spoke up. "Let's take a break." He started to get out of his chair but was stopped in his tracks when Sorenson spoke. "What? This is all you have? We need this Mr. Smith's information." He motioned for Ryan. "Dump Castle's phone, I want Mr. Smith in here by the end of the day!" He turned back to Castle and sneered. "I want you out of here, **NOW**! You have interfered with one of my cases for the last time."

Gates popped up from her chair. "Agent Sorenson! This is still _my_ precinct!"

Reaching for Kate's arm Castle continued, "Mr. Smith isn't concerned with your safety or even your health Kate. He owes Montgomery a debt, a pretty big one at that." He paused to let that sink in before continuing. "All he's worried about are Evelyn's and the kids' futures. So this morning I met with him again and assured him that their futures will never be in jeopardy. I handed over a document from my business manager that alleviated his concerns." He reached into his messenger bag and pulled out a file. "Convinced, he turned over the file to me this morning during breakfast at the Haunt." With that he handed over the file. He stood up and said, "I think I would like a cup of coffee now."

Xx

"Hey," Kate said, startling Castle out of his coffee making. "Hey," he replied. "Um, thanks for the coffee earlier. I found it on my desk." She lifted the to go cup letting him know she received it.

Castle handed her a fresh cup. "Yeah sorry about that, Gates called me into her office just as soon as I arrived." He was nervous when he handed it to her. "So Sorenson."

"Yeah, Sorenson," she said just as nervous as him.

He moved over to the table and took a seat. "Listen Kate, I understand. We got caught up in our little bubble at the loft this weekend and with everything that happened."

She sat down right beside him and put her hand on his thigh. "What do you think you understand?"

"I saw you and Mr. FBI working side by side, his chair closer than normal, and the smile on your face when I came in. I get it."

She threw her head back and laughed, laughed loudly. So loud that it brought Esposito to the door to check on everyone. "Espo, we're fine. Just give us some privacy okay?"

He nodded his head and closed the door just as Sorenson was trying to enter. "Nope, no one enters until Beckett is through." The agent tried to pass and was met by Javi's hand on his chest. "Not until Kate gives me the okay." Sorenson turned around and headed back to the conference room muttering to himself.

While that was taking place outside the breakroom Kate was speaking with Rick. "Rick, in case you missed it, he moved his chair closer to mine. And that smile that you saw? It wasn't on my face until I saw you, you freaking idiot. It was you who put that smile on my face. It's _always_ been you."

Castle dropped his head in shame; when he brought his eyes back up to Kate there was a slight grimace on his face. "You're right, I'm an idiot. But more than that, I just might be the most insecure man you have ever met. Especially when it comes to the fairer sex."

She cocked her eyebrow at that. "Fairer sex?"

"Okay, how about the better sex?" That brought a smile to her face, the same on that he saw when he arrived earlier. "I'm scared Kate."

"It's okay, I am too. But we'll get him, you know that."

"Oh, I know that. With you three and Mr. FBI I know you'll have him in cuffs soon. Really soon. What? I might not care for the guy that much but he didn't get to where he is unless he's good at his job."

"So what are you scared of Rick?" she asked as she took a sip.

"Us. I'm scared of us. Of what we are, of what we could become. That you'll wake up one day and realize that I'm nothing special. That an extraordinary woman like you deserves an extraordinary man. That you'll realize that I'm nothing more than a rebound."

She could see the fear in his eyes. He was scared of her; all this time she thought that he had the power to break her heart and in reality it was she who could break his. And he was so sure that she would. "He was the rebound, not you. If you don't hear a word I say today, hear this. You could never be a rebound, never, Rick." She pulled back from him with tears forming in her eyes. "I called Dr. Burke today, I have an appointment tomorrow morning at seven."

She said she was going to make one and he didn't doubt her, but saying and doing were two different things. He glanced at his watch. "Why don't I order lunch? I know if I don't you'll skip it, and a hungry Beckett is a grumpy Beckett." He smirked at her pout that was in conflict with her smile. "It's the least I can do for the boys."

"Okay Rick, but before you do I have one more thing to say." She took a deep breath before continuing. "I think we need to slow this down. You were right, we were in our weekend bubble and as great as it was, I don't want it to be all we ever have. So I'm going home tonight."

"Not going to happen. You're staying at the loft until this is over, and don't say a word about space. We'll work it out, okay?"

She smiled. "Okay."

Xx

Lunch was delivered and the team took a break and joined Castle in the breakroom. The topic of discussion, surprising to everyone in the room, was the addition of a kitchen to the Old Haunt. Everyone was astonished that Castle and Jim had spent time together working on the walls. They knew that Jim was a handy man but were dumbfounded when Kate let everyone know that her dad said Castle was really good at construction.

After everyone was finished Castle offered to clean up the breakroom allowing everyone else to resume the investigation. He exited the room only to be met by Gates. "Mr. Castle why don't we meet now."

"Captain, can you give me five minutes? I need to check on my younger daughter." That got her to nod in agreement. "I keep forgetting that you're a father of two. Of course, just come in when you are finished." He nodded and reached for his phone.

Five minutes later he was thumbing his phone off as he entered Gates' office. He knocked on the door frame letting her know he was entering. "Sir, may I come in?"

"Absolutely, come in and have a seat." He stopped and motioned to the door asking in silence if she wanted it closed. When she motioned for him to do so, he closed the door and moved to the couch that he had sat in many times in the past. The only thing different was the person he was sitting across from wasn't his friend.

"Rick. May I call you Rick?"

"Of course, Captain."

"Okay, for this meeting how about you call me Vicki?" She smiled. "We met before, did you know that?" A shake of his head let the captain know that he didn't remember meeting her. "A few years ago, when _Storm Calling_ came out, I won a drawing at the book store near my home. It was two tickets to your book's launch party, so naturally my husband and I went. Don't look so surprised, when would my husband and I ever have the chance to hob-nob with the rich and famous again? We jumped at the chance and we met you."

She reached down and opened the file on her desk. "I've gone over the precinct closure rates for the past five years, and do you know what I found?" Castle pressed his lips into a line then shook his head silently indicating that he didn't. "I found that prior to your 'research' this precinct's homicide unit, including both teams, was the best in the city. They had a closure rate of ninety-one percent. The first year you followed Detective Beckett the closure rate climbed a couple tenths of a percent. Not much but still an increase."

"Wow Vicki, I had no idea."

"Of course you didn't, that's what I'm here for." They both chuckled and she continued. "The first summer that you didn't work with the team it dropped two full percentage points." Castle knew that it was when Kate had kicked him out for looking into Joanna's murder.

"Then you returned and during that time our closure rate climbed a full four points, not only making our homicide unit the best in the city, but we were the best unit whether it be homicide, robbery, vice or whatever. But this summer with both you and Beckett gone we dropped dramatically. Those months we were down to eighty-five percent."

Castle wrung his hands not knowing why she was sharing this with him, making him nervous. The captain resumed speaking. "I'm giving you all of this information for a reason Rick. I would like for you to continue to consult with our homicide unit."

He raised his hands in protest. "Captain I'm flattered to say the least. And I would have jumped at the chance before this past summer but my life has changed. I have my twenty-month-old daughter to think about. I was a stay-at-home dad with Alexis and I intend to do the same with Alexandria."

"I can respect that Rick, but what I am asking for is your help on the 'Beckett Flavored' cases as everyone down at 1PP has taken to calling them. I don't want you here for the standard pop and drop, but the stranger ones."

"Have you spoken to Kate about this?" he queried.

"No. I wanted to run this by you before I broached the subject with her."

Xx

Beckett entered the captain's office after being summoned by Officer Hastings. "Sir, you wanted to see me?"

"Yes detective, have a seat." With that Beckett sat down beside Castle. Gates came around her desk and leaned up against the front of it directly in front of her guests. "You see that young woman out there Kate?" She motioned toward Hastings who was sitting outside Gates' office in a visitor's chair. "She just passed the detective's test and will get her gold shield Monday. She beat my old record by close to a month. And she beat your old record by a couple of days." She looked out the window again with a glint of jealousy in her eyes. "Oh, to be that young again... Anyway she's going to be a detective and your new partner."

Kate looked over to Castle and smiled a tight smile before returning her gaze to Gates. "I already have a partner."

"No Kate, you have a consultant. And if I'm correct he has new daughter to raise unless we can convince him to consult on some of our more unique cases." She began to recite the information that she had shared earlier with Castle. When she was finished she turned to Castle. "Rick, would you be willing to continue your association with the NYDP as an UNPAID consultant? Notice I said unpaid. As I said earlier I don't want you here all the time, just when a case comes up where your insight would be helpful." She moved back to her chair. "You see when I met you at that party all those years ago you said something to me that has stuck with me since then. I asked you why you did so much research and you said..." Before she could finish her sentence Castle continued, "I do research to get the details right. Anyone can go through the motions but I like to think outside the box. I like to get the little tidbit of information that other writers might neglect. Like the sound of spent shell makes when it hits a concrete floor." He looked at Kate. "You see the sound of a nine millimeter's shell sounds completely different than a forty-five's."

"That's exactly what you said to me. I took that nugget of information and applied it to my work in Internal Affairs. You see to catch a bad cop, you have to think outside the box. And that's what you do with Beckett's team."

He looked over to Kate who spoke for what seemed like the first time since she entered the office. "You know I want you here with me, but we have Alex to think about. And we have Alexis also; I don't think either of us did a great job thinking about her wishes in the past." She lowered her voice to just a whisper. "But I do want you by my side."

He looked back to Gates. "I'll do it on a trial basis."

"Okay Rick. When that door opens, no more Rick and Vickie, Mr. Castle. Now why don't you spend whatever time you can helping with this one?"

"No, sir. I don't think I can do that. This one is too important, not that they all aren't important, but I don't want to be the cause of him walking."

Beckett grabbed his arm. "Rick?"

"Listen Kate, if I'm in there, you know it'll become a measuring contest between Sorenson and me. I don't want that. This case is too important to you, too important to me, and he _is_ good. If he wasn't, someone else would have been sent. So as much as I want to be there when you slap the cuffs on the bastard, I think it's best if I sit this one out."

If her next words never came, the tears in her eyes told him all he needed to know. "You really are an extraordinary man Richard Castle. And I am so honored to have you in my life." She kissed him lightly on the cheek not caring that Gates saw her.

 **Thoughts?**

 **I know that I have written Gates totally out of character, but since this is an AU story I decided to change her up a bit. I have seen many clips of Penny and absolutely love her so I thought I would put some of what I see in her in this little fic.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Here is the latest, I hope you enjoy.**

 **Again I own nothing.**

Chapter 12

"Hello Kate." His voice was deep and rich and comforting all in one. It made her feel safe, made her feel secure, that she could talk about anything and it would be okay. That she could share her innermost thoughts and they would be secure.

"Hello Dr. Burke. I guess you didn't think you would see me again," Kate said reaching for his hand.

He motioned for her to take a seat as he settled into his customary chair. It amused her that he could fold his long legs down into the seat. His knees seemed to rise upward from his hips giving the impression that the chair was too short for his long frame.

"Kate, people handle life changing events in different ways. People heal in different ways and that's why we're here, to heal. Isn't that right?" His voice was calm and soothing, like a balm for her soul.

"Um… well, yeah I guess you're right. I want you to help… no that's not right. I need you to fix me." Her voice was timid.

"Fix you?"

"Yeah, fix me." Her voice strengthened as her courage grew.

"We're all broken in some ways Kate. Now what do you want me to 'fix' and more importantly, why do you think you need to be fixed?" He opened up a legal pad and waited for her to speak.

"You see Dr. Burke I… I just want to be normal. I want to have a normal relationship like normal people. Even if it's with someone who isn't very normal." She smiled as she thought of Castle.

"Care to explain that statement?"

"Since I saw you last my life has taken a one-eighty. No more like a three-sixty then a one-eighty. The guy I was dating proposed." As she was gathering her thoughts Dr. Burke congratulated her. "Oh, no Doctor, that wasn't a good thing, it was a very bad thing." She went on to tell him all about the proposal, her eventual rejection of the proposal and everything leading up to this morning. She left out the names of the players for his safety.

"Rick and I come from such different worlds. We move in such different circles that I'm not sure that we can work. I mean I'm still dealing with the pain of Mom's death and he has these two beautiful daughters. And to top it off he's worried and scared about a relationship with me. It's like I could break his heart, when all I've ever worried about was him breaking mine."

The entire time Kate was speaking Dr. Burke was scribbling notes on the legal pad in his lap. He looked up at Kate and began to speak. "Let's discuss that first statement. Why do you think you come from such different worlds?"

Her face screwed into what could only be considered an incredulous glare. "Well he _is_ a rich celebrity. He's a playboy, or was a playboy. He's friends with the mayor. He lives his life on page six and the red carpet. His mother is an actress, he's always been in the spotlight, and me, I'm just a cop. If he hadn't wormed his way into my life we would have never met."

He could tell that Kate was getting worked up. "Kate, let's talk about that word 'come.' One of the definitions is to originate. So why do you think you originated from different worlds?"

"I think I just covered everything, don't you?" She was up and pacing now, growing more agitated by the minute.

"Kate, please have a seat." She returned to her seat trying to regain her composure. "Kate, correct me if I am wrong, but you grew up with two lawyers as parents and lived in Manhattan." She nodded in agreement and he began to prod a little more. "Now from what I know of you, you're very driven. And if I had to guess, you got your drive from your parents. So it goes to reason that they were as driven and successful."

"Yes, yes they were successful." Her reply came as almost a whisper.

He made a few more notes then continued. "I would surmise that living in Manhattan and being lawyers they made a good bit of money. From what I know about lawyers in this city I would estimate between three hundred and five hundred thousand a year."

"I wouldn't know." She was lost as to where Burke was going with this train of thought.

"Well, from what I have seen in the past I would say that's a fair range. They made enough to send you to Stuyvesant. So my question to you is why you think you come from different worlds?" He looked at his watch and then returned to her. "Our time is just about up for today, but I have a homework assignment for you." She nodded in acceptance and he proceeded. "I want you to have a conversation with Rick about both of your childhoods. But I don't want you to tell him it's homework until the end of the conversation. Now let's meet again on Thursday at the same time and I want your assignment completed by then. Oh and Kate, as much as you and Mr. Castle love coffee I'm sure you would have eventually met."

"Sure thing," she said as she walked out of the office almost numb from her emotions.

Xx

"Hey girl," Lanie said as Kate entered the elevator car. "It's good to see you this fine morning." She was a little more cheery than Kate had seen her best friend in quite a while. Lanie noticed that Kate had a perplexed look on her face. "What's going on with you? You look like you have had a difficult morning."

As the doors opened to the homicide floor Kate grabbed Lanie's arm and ushered her into the stairwell. Once inside she peered up and down to insure that their talk would be in private. "I went to see my therapist today and it was grueling."

Lanie was speechless. She knew that Beckett had said she was going to return to therapy but in the back of her mind she doubted that Kate would ever follow through. Of course Kate was a woman of her word, but to open up about her feelings wasn't who she was. "Oh, sweetie are you ok?" Kate worried her bottom lip between her teeth in an all too familiar nervous habit. "Kate what is it?"

Beckett sighed and moved closer to Lanie on the top step, close enough that they were now sitting with their thighs touching, and leaned in to lower her voice. "Without sharing too much of what we talked about, Dr. Burke asked why I thought we came from different worlds. He made me describe my childhood and asked about Rick's. I don't really know that much about his so now I have homework." She shrugged about that last part.

"Really? He gave you homework?"

"Yep and it's due by our next appointment. On Thursday." That last sentence was mumbled.

"Thursday?" Lanie was surprised that it was so soon. Kate nodded in affirmation then questioned why Lanie was up on her floor anyway. "Your boy texted me. Seems he is having breakfast catered to us. He wanted me to make sure that none of the feebs took your coffee."

Kate threw her head back and laughed. "I guess we'd better get going then, hadn't we?"

As they got to her desk she saw her coffee on her desk but it had a different name on it than usual. The top was marked with two K's which brought a smile to her face. When Lanie saw it she smiled. "That little girl will have you wrapped around her finger pretty soon."

Kate laughed again at Lanie. "She already does. We're going to the museum this weekend."

Lanie was speechless and now flabbergasted. All in the span of a few minutes. "Really?"

"Really." She was unaware that the last bit of the conversation had been overheard by her first really serious boyfriend.

Xx

The wonderment of watching Alex hop around the coffee table drew the two adults into the child's world. "How wonderful and exciting our lives would be if we never lost that," Castle mused.

"Mmm, what's that?" Kate murmured as she took a drink of her wine. It was the first glass of wine that she and Castle had shared since her shooting. Sure he was there when she and Lanie had gone to the Haunt, but this was the first one that just the two of them had drunk together. And to her it felt like heaven. Like she was home.

"That happiness. She hasn't had her heart broken, she hasn't had to deal with the day-to-day drudgery of life. She's safe and happy and that's enough for her, it shows in her spirit. It's contagious," Castle said while watching his daughter now playing with her sinfully soft, plush, stuffed animals.

"That it is." Kate turned to Castle and stared at him. Really stared at him and she could see the love that he had for his little girl. Sure Alex had only been a part of the family for a few weeks but the way he looked at her you would think that he had been there for Alex's birth. And if she had to bet, she would wager it was the same way that he had looked at Alexis when she was that age. "Is it different? When you look at her and Alexis, is it different to you? I know you love them with everything, but… I don't know what I am trying to ask."

"I understand the question perfectly." He smiled at her. "Yes and no is the only way I can answer that question. Alexis is part me. I had a hand in creating her, so yes, there is a special place in my heart for her. But do I love her more than Alex? No. No, I don't love either one more or less than the other one. They both hold an equal place in my heart, along with an eccentric actress and a certain kick-ass detective. I love each of you equally and unconditionally and with all of my heart."

' _How d_ _id_ _he do that? How c_ _ould_ _he turn me into a puddle with just his words? If there w_ _ere_ _ever any doubts whether or not he loved me h_ _e_ _just demolished them_ _,_ _'_ she thought _._ "Why is it now that we can sit here and talk openly, but just a few months ago it would have been fraught with subtext? How have we made it to this point?"

"That's pretty simple Kate. There's no Josh, Gina, Demming, Meredith, or anybody else. Soon your mother's case will be over. It will just be us, you and me. Well, and our families. But there won't be anything or anyone that will impede us. And I, for one, am glad of that fact. I think we've danced around each other long enough."

"I think that sums it up pretty well Mr. Castle," she teased leaning into his ear. "But I expect the innuendos to continue."

He snickered. "They have to, that's what got us together after all."

"Really? How do you figure?"

"That's easy detective. You've wanted to be one of _my_ conquests from the first case we worked." With that he jumped up off the couch and said, "Let's go take a bath Alex," dodging a couch cushion that was thrown at him by Beckett.

Forty-five minutes later he returned to the couch sitting down along side Kate with the bottle of wine that they had opened earlier. She decided that now was the time. She was going to ask the questions Burke had instructed her to. "Rick may I ask you a question?"

"Sure, you can ask me anything." He looked at her and saw some trepidation in her eyes. "Hey now, what's up? You know that you can ask me anything. I'm pretty much an open book."

"Yeah, I know you are. So um… what was…what was your childhood like?"

He was surprised at the question. "Wow. That is _so_ not the question I was expecting. Why I rode the police horse naked? That one I expected, but not this one."

She scoffed. "I promise you we'll get to that one day, but right now I want to know about your childhood."

"Okay, it was like any others I suppose. I mean I was loved, even if it was by Martha Rodgers."

She playfully slapped his arm. "Oh, stop it."

He smiled and took a sip of his wine before continuing. "It wasn't easy on Mother being a single mother in the early seventies. They weren't called single mothers then, you know. They were unwed mothers and it was tough on her. She knew it would be going in, she knew what people were going to think and say. But she never had any notion of not having me."

An astonished Kate looked at him and couldn't fathom a world without Richard Castle in it. "Really?"

"Oh yeah. Her agent told her to get rid of me. He said that there weren't any parts for pregnant women, that when the theater crowd found out that I was illigetimate it would reflect negatively on the show."

Kate refilled her glass and topped off his before speaking. "And did it?"

"It sure did. She lost her part in Neil Diamond's _Plaza Suite_ because she was pregnant. Then she couldn't get a part in anything of any significance until the early eighties." He turned on the couch to face her, mirroring her. "It was hard on us. She would wait tables and audition during the day and perform in whatever little show she was in at night. She never really had a stable job." His eyes were beginning to fill with tears and he wiped them away as they trickled down his face. "It was hard on her. She tried her best, did everything she could to give me a good life and I have no complaints. It wasn't until I was ten that we had an apartment for more than three months. That year we made it a whole six months in a little one bedroom place in Long Island City."

Kate was captivated listening to him open up to her. His voice and body language when he told a story, or posited a theory always grabbed her attention. But here he was telling the story of his childhood; all of the ups and downs, well mostly downs it seemed, telling it to her like it was nothing.

"There were times that she couldn't afford a place for us to live and we had to make do. Sometimes we stayed with other actors, sometimes it was a boyfriend, and a few times we stayed in the back of the theater where she was performing. But through all of it..." He leaned forward and whispered in her ear, "If you tell her this I will have to turn you over my knee."

That got her to cock her eyebrow at him, challenging him. "I bet you'd like that wouldn't you?"

He grinned. "Oh yeah, I would. But I digress. Through all of it I knew she loved me and I loved her. Still do. And that's the part you can't tell her; I would never hear the end of it."

"Your secret is safe with me. But now I have a confession of my own to make. I told Dr. Burke this morning that I felt like we came from different worlds. That your mom was an actress and I was just the daughter of lawyers. He wanted to know why I felt it was so different and I didn't really have an answer. So he gave me homework. I was to find out about your childhood."

He looked down, ashamed. "I am scared to think what you think of mine."

"I think that your childhood was so much harder than mine. Here I was assuming that you grew up with a privileged childhood being the son of an actress and all the while I was the privileged child. At least the privileged child between the two of us. It goes to show that I've been making assumptions about you from day one, and if that one's wrong, how many more are? And for that I am sorry Rick, sorry and ashamed." Now it was her turn for her eyes to mist up.

"Come here." He pulled her into his lap, his hand stroking her hair, her breath warm on his neck. "There is nothing to be ashamed of, okay? Nothing at all. I haven't shared that with anyone and by the way Mother and I act it would be easy to think that." She sniffled into his neck. "Kate, my past, your past, they mean nothing. Remember that, they mean nothing. Only our future means anything to me. Remember that and hold it in your heart." She nodded into his shoulder while he placed little kisses atop her head.

 **Thoughts?**

 **I hope I did the talk with Burke justice. I have never been in therapy myself although my wife says I should be.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Well here is another chapter. I know ti took a while, but I hope you like it.**

 **I own nothing.**

Chapter 13

"Detective Beckett may I have a word?" Gates motioned for Beckett to join her in her office. "And bring your coffee." Beckett grabbed her cup, followed Gates into her office, and closed the door. "Detective, have a seat." Kate complied and took a seat on the couch that Montgomery had loved so much.

Gates slowly sipped her coffee trying to get a glimpse at what made Kate Beckett tick. She was the best detective in the precinct and she led the best team in the city. By all accounts she was on the fast track to lieutenant or maybe even captain. She was smart, uncannily smart. Every test she had taken from basic criminology to the wonder lick indicated that she was one of the smartest people, let alone women, on the force.

She was driven, driven to find justice; the evaluations in her file all said so. She had routinely worked ninety to one hundred hour weeks to close a case. "Kate, I've been informed that Bracken will be arrested tomorrow. You've pursued this case for well over ten years and I think you should have the opportunity to slap the cuffs on him."

Beckett was silent not knowing what to say. Her family's long nightmare was coming to an end and she was being given the opportunity to be the one to end it. "Sir?" was all she could say as the tears began to fill her eyes.

Gates left her chair and took a seat at Beckett's side. "Kate, I can't begin to know what you and your father have gone through. But if you want to go you have my permission."

"Go, sir?"

"Yes, Kate, go. There's a vote tomorrow on the federal budget in the Senate and he will be there. The plan is to arrest him on the Senate floor. Kind of fitting I think."

"Fitting, sir?" Beckett was at a loss as why Gates felt that way.

Gates smiled as if she knew something that no one else did. "Yes Kate, he's been after power so long that he lost why he became a DA in the first place. To arrest him in front of his peers, to arrest him where laws are made speaks volumes, don't you think?"

Kate smiled for the first time since she entered the office. "Yes sir, I think it does."

Gates stood up. "Get with Agent Sorenson about the travel plans. I think you will leave this evening."

"Captain, if you don't mind, I'd like to talk with Castle before I speak with Will." Gates silently questioned her detective with a raised brow. "Castle has had as big a part with this case as I have, maybe even bigger these past few years."

"Very well, Detective. You're dismissed."

After Kate made it back to her desk she grabbed her phone and texted Castle. ' **Can you come to the precinct this morning?'**

Castle's reply came quickly and was short. ' **Problem?'**

' **No** **,** **I just need to talk with you about something** **,** **'** she replied just as quickly.

' **I have a lunch meeting but I can make it in beforehand. Maybe an hour or so from now.'**

' **Perfect!'** she replied just as soon as she received his text.

Almost to the minute Castle strolled into the precinct an hour later wearing tailored black pants, a black jacket, and a dark blue shirt that Beckett knew he wore for her pleasure. They had picked it out this morning. She had let it slip how she thought that particular shirt really brought out the blue in his eyes. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, everything's great!" She took the coffee that he offered her. _'How had I ever made it through the day before his coffee?'_ she mused. "Follow me." They went into the conference room that Sorenson had commandeered earlier in the week. She knew that he would be in a little later today, he had let it spill yesterday that he had a meeting with his boss this morning.

"So what's up Kate?"

"We're going to arrest him tomorrow." She reached for him and he wasted no time pulling her into his arms. She buried her head in his neck basking in his touch. Kate was always surprised how much being in his arms affected her. How safe and cherished it made her feel. "Gates offered to let me go and be a part of the team that arrests him."

Castle stroked her hair and rubbed small circles on her back. "I think that's a great thing don't you?"

"Rick, we had our first _family_ day planned for tomorrow." They had taken to calling it a family day as a joke with her dad on the phone and it seemed to have stuck.

"Kate, this is more important than tomorrow. You've worked your entire career for this. Your whole adult life has led to this day. You need to be there."

"Will you come with me?" Her voice was small and weak but Castle heard her words. But before he could answer someone else did.

"Absolutely not! I told you once before that he wasn't allowed anywhere near this investigation and I still mean it!" Sorenson snapped out. He was absolutely livid. "And just why in the hell are you here anyway?"

Beckett turned in Castle's arms to face the agent, refusing to let Rick release her. Castle could feel her body begin to strengthen; Kate Beckett was leaving and Detective Beckett was returning. "He is here because _I_ called him! I want him here and I want him with me tomorrow."

"Not happening Kate. He isn't going to be anywhere near this operation." Sorenson was throwing his weight around. "If you want in, he is out!"

"Then I'm out!" Beckett replied indignantly.

Castle, who had been silent during the exchange, finally spoke up. "Kate you have to go. If you don't you'll always regret it. I know you want me there and I want to be there for you, but my being there isn't worth you missing this chance. You have to think of Jim, of Johanna. You have to go for them, okay?"

"Alright, but I don't like it," she replied, still angry at Sorenson.

"You don't have to like it Kate, but you have to go." He kissed her forehead which seemed to soothe her instantly.

Sorenson, feeling that he had won the battle, spoke again, "I booked us on the shuttle flight to DC out of Kennedy at four p.m. so we need to leave by one."

Castle was beginning to loosen his grip on Beckett but she had no intention of letting him release her completely. "When did you book the return flight?"

Feeling as if he had won the lottery Sorenson replied smugly, "Tuesday. I figured that you would want to be involved with the arraignment Kate," knowing that he would be with Beckett in DC while Castle was left behind.

Xx

The flight was uneventful. Beckett and Sorenson exchanged small talk, with Sorenson initiating most of the conversation. Beckett either hummed in approval or shook her head in disagreement. They were picked up by an agent and taken to their hotel. "Wow, the FBI must really give you a great per diem," Beckett said as they pulled up to the Mandarin Oriental Hotel.

"Yeah, they do," he replied as he grabbed her bag and opened the door for her. They checked in and made their way to their rooms which were side by side. Kate entered and began to unpack her clothes when a knock came from the adjoining door that separated her room from Will's. "I thought we might catch a bite to eat in the hotel restaurant. What do you say?"

She took a minute to think about the offer. She hadn't minded Will's company today and she _was_ \hungry after all. "Sure thing, just let me make a call. Can I meet you in there in about fifteen or so?" she asked through the still closed door.

"Okay, I'll see you there."

She walked over to the desk and picked up her phone to dial the number that she had called thousands of times these past few years. "Miss me already?" came the smooth baritone that had the ability to turn her into a puddle.

"Keep telling yourself that, babe." Her reply was just as smooth as if she had been calling him that for years.

"Well, I guess you got there okay." And before she could answer she heard him say, "Alex do you want to watch _Mulan_?" It sounded as if he had pulled the phone away from his mouth so he wouldn't yell in her ear.

"Yes, Papa," was the faint reply Kate heard from the little girl.

"Would you like to talk with KK?" he asked his younger daughter and Alex's reply melted Kate's heart on the spot. "Oh, yes Papa!" Kate heard the rustle of Rick giving the phone to Alex. "KK, is that you?"

"Yes sweetie, it is."

"Where you at?" the little girl questioned and Kate heard Castle correct her, "Where _are_ you, Alex?" The little voice replied, "Okay Papa, where _are_ you KK?"

"I'm at work Alex. I'm so sorry I can't be there tonight." It felt as if she was letting the little girl down. "Okay KK, we watch _Mulan._ " She heard Castle patiently correcting his daughter's grammar again as the phone was handed back to him.

"Kate, I think she misses you."

"Just her?"

"Oh no, Mother misses you also." She could just see his smug look in her mind. "And truth be told, I might miss you a little as well."

"Just a little?" she teased.

"Okay, more than a little," came his reply. It was the one she was looking for from him. "I forgot to ask earlier, where are you staying?"

"The Mandarin Oriental."

He gave a low whistle. "Wow, the FBI must have upped their per diem. Jordan's team stayed at the Holiday Inn when they helped us a few years ago."

"You know, I think you're right Rick. Anyway, I've got to go. I'm meeting the team down stairs for dinner. I'll text you before bed."

"Okay, I'd better get this movie on before Alex blows a gasket. Good night Kate." She loved it when he used her name like that. It sounded so full of love and happiness.

"Good night Rick, dream about me."

"Of that you should have no doubt."

Xx

The movie was about half over when Alexis returned home from having ice cream with Lauren and Paige. "Where's Kate Dad?"

"She's in DC. It seems that there's going to be an arrest tomorrow and she's there to cuff him."

Alexis looked perplexed. "Then why are you here?"

A disheartened Castle responded, "It seems I'm good enough to capture serial killers and save an entire city from a dirty bomb, but I'm not good enough for the FBI to let me in on this one. And you never heard about the bomb, understand?"

Alexis flopped down beside Alex who was nearly asleep. "Since when did that ever stop you? And I heard nothing about a bomb."

"Well, this is the most important thing in Kate's life and I don't want to get in the way, or make a mess of it."

"You don't get it, do you Dad? This isn't the most important thing in Kate's life anymore, or at least it shouldn't be. It's you, Dad; it's us." Alexis pointed between herself and her sister. "And if it isn't then I don't think this relationship is going to work."

"So what are you thinking?" Castle asked.

"If we want Kate to be a part of this family then we need to be there to support her," she replied, smiling at her father.

Castle reached for his phone. "How'd you get so smart?"

"I must have got it from you Dad!" she teased.

Xx

Kate entered the restaurant wearing the same clothes that she had worn all day only to find that Will had changed into a fresh shirt and jacket that definitely wasn't FBI issue. The first thing she noticed when she reached her seat was that there were no other agents there; the second was the vodka tonic waiting for her. Will stood and pulled out her chair for her. She thought to herself, _'The only person who can get away with this and not piss me off is Castle_.' "Thank you, Will," she forced out politely.

Sorenson returned to his seat and picked up his menu staring at her over the top of it. "I hear the lamb is really good."

Beckett looked over the menu trying to decide what to order, never touching the drink that Sorenson had ordered for her, opting for the glass of water beside it instead. When the waitress returned Will placed his order and as Kate was placing hers, he motioned for the waitress to bring them refills. Beckett, being the detective that she was, didn't miss his motion. Once young woman left Kate asked, "Okay, Will. What do you think you're doing with the drinks? And while I'm at it, since when did the Bureau start putting you guys up in places like this?"

"I th...ought you could use an en...joyable night and a g...ood bed," he stammered.

"Cut it out with the drinks, understand? And I _will_ pay you back for the difference on the rooms." She narrowed her eyes. "Don't think you are paying for my meal either. As a matter of fact, I think I'll get it to go."

He reached across for her hand only to have her snatch it back from him. "No, don't Kate. Let's eat together, please?"

She slid the vodka tonic across the table to him. "You drink this, I don't want it."

Xx

The following afternoon an extremely anxious Kate Beckett stood on the steps of the Capitol building awaiting the order to go. When the order came Beckett marched up the steps with one thing on her mind, she was going to arrest the man who had her mom murdered. When she reached the doors to the floor of the Senate, Sorenson asked if she was ready. With a nod from her, he reached for the door.

She strode down the aisle to his seat. "Senator William Bracken you are under arrest." Her voice was strong and forceful, just like she had dreamt every night since she put on the badge. She wanted to make sure everyone heard her when she read the charges, never faltering when she named her mother as one of his victims.

Twenty minutes later Beckett was leaning against a pillar as she watched Bracken being paraded in front of the media on the Capitol's steps, doing the most beautiful perp walk she thought she had ever seen. As a crowd gathered she saw a sight that brought the biggest smile she had ever smiled. There was Castle and his daughters standing at the bottom of the steps off to the right. They were out of the way of the proceedings, but there in plain sight for her to see.

"How are you holding up Kate?" Sorenson asked as she smiled, turning to look at him. Sorenson mistook the smile she had on her face as being directed to him. "I'm so glad that I was able to give you the closure that you deserve."

Beckett's features immediately hardened and her blood ran cold. "The closure that _you_ gave me? You really think you had anything to do with giving me closure?!" The more she spoke the harder her tone became. "All you did was get me to DC." She pointed to the right of the crowd and Sorenson noticed Castle for the first time. "That man standing down there is the one who gave me closure. He looked into my mom's case when I asked him not to, knowing that when I found out I would kick him out of my life. But he did it anyway."

"Kate, I didn't mean any disrespect."

"Oh yes, you did! I will _not_ put up with it. Do you hear me?" She jabbed her index finger in his chest. "If it wasn't for him meeting with Smith we would have only had a tape that we both know would be hard to get into court. And that doesn't even take into account the hundred grand that he paid to get Coonan! So don't you _dare_ talk to me about giving me closure! That man down there has given me everything I need and he always will!" she declared angrily.

Kate almost sounded calm when she said, "I've compartmentalized my life. Did you know that?" Not waiting for his answer she continued, "I have a box in my mind where the past goes. You have a little box within that box and every new box for my past gets piled on top of your box. Soon I won't be able to find your box if I tried."

"I guess he has a box, too," Sorenson replied snidely.

"No, actually, he doesn't. My future doesn't have a box and he...no, _they_ are my future. So if you need to speak to me on a professional level I will answer your call. But if you expect me to have anything, and I do mean anything, to do with you on a personal level you're a bigger fool than I already think you are." With that she headed straight for Castle and his daughters.

"Kate, we're leaving in five," Sorenson called out trying to get the last word in.

She never answered, walking straight into Castle's arms, gaining strength from his embrace. "What are you guys doing here?" she asked, while hearing "KK" from Alex who was in Alexis's arms.

"Supporting you. Loving you," was the answer she heard but it didn't come from the Castle that she expected. It came from the young woman who never failed to impress her. "We wanted to be here for you Kate," came Alexis's shy reply.

Kate released Castle and turned to Alexis who was holding a very squirmy Alex. Kate took her out of Alexis's arms. "Thanks Alexis, having you all here means the world to me." Kate placed a kiss on Alexandria's head as Rick winked at Alexis.

"Kate, let's go," Sorenson called out.

"I'm going with you guys," she said quietly, headed for the SUV that was awaiting Castle, never acknowledging the FBI agent.

Xx

Castle slid into the front passenger's seat as Kate placed Alex into her car seat behind the driver. She sat in the middle of the back seat with Alexis to her right.

"Is it everything that you imagined? Arresting him, I mean." the young redhead asked.

Kate took the time to look at Alex, who was rapidly draining her sippy cup. Her eyes were growing heavy with sleep. When Kate looked back at Alexis she reached over and pulled the young woman to her, wrapping her in a hug. She leaned her head to the right bumping heads with Alexis. "Yes and no."

Alexis replied in surprise, "Really?"

"I've dreamt about the day that I put cuffs on him and I don't think anything can compare to this feeling. But now that I have him in cuffs, it makes me wonder what's next. You know?" She could feel Alexis nod against the side of her head. "I've spent my entire adult life chasing this, and I don't know what to do with myself. How do I live without the revenge that has driven me?" She felt Alexis stiffen at that statement. "I know I've always said I was seeking justice for my mom, but it was really revenge. What do I do now?"

Alexis reached around Kate and squeezed with all her might. "You love us! Become part of our family!" the young woman said fiercely.

With that the damn broke and Beckett began to sob uncontrollably. "I would love that, I would love that so much."

 **Thoughts?**

 **Reviews are greatly appreciated.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Well here is another chapter. I know that some of you out there think I will never finish any of my stories, but I will. Sometimes it's all I can do to get out a chapter a week. My life is constant airports and hotels. You would think that I would take the time to write during those down times, but my work keeps me busier than I ever thought it would.**

 **As you know by now I own nothing.**

Chapter 14

The rest of the ride was quiet as they were driven through the city. When they approached the hotel where Kate was staying the driver spoke, "Mr. Castle, Mrs. Castle, we're here."

Kate's eyes flashed upward to meet Rick's in shock. "Thank you Robert," Castle responded quietly hoping not to wake a sleeping Alex. He did, however, see the look on his oldest daughter's face and gave her a faint smile.

Alexis coughed slightly and turned to Kate with a devilish smile. "I don't think we've ever stayed here, have we Mom?" which earned her a slight elbow poke from Kate. "Watch it 'Lex, two can play that game." Kate looked at Rick. "Honey, why don't we take 'Lex and Ashley to dinner when he comes home for Thanksgiving. I think we should ask him about his intentions."

Alexis looked at her in mock annoyance. "You wouldn't!"

Kate reached around Alexis's shoulder pulling her into a hug and whispered, "Never, and I'll make sure he doesn't do or say anything that you'll regret."

Letting out a huge sigh Alexis replied, "Thank you Kate. You don't know how much I appreciate that. And don't tell Dad because I won't let him call me it, but I like it when you call me 'Lex."

As they pulled up to the passenger drop off Rick asked if Kate would get a sleeping Alex out of her car seat. "Are you staying here, too?" Kate questioned.

"Oh yes, we are," he said grinning like the cat who ate the cannery. As they approached the desk clerk Kate remarked, "I wish I had a bigger room then you guys could stay with me."

Rick just smiled and turned to the clerk. "Richard Castle. We have the Jefferson Suite reserved."

The young girl smiled up at him. "Oh, yes sir, we've been expecting you."

He flashed the smile he used for public events, not the one that he reserved for his family, while looking down at the name tag the young lady wore. "Thank you Emily. Would you do me a favor and check Detective Beckett out of her room. She'll be joining us for the rest of her stay." He slipped a tip into her hand, turned back to Kate and grinned again.

"Yes sir, I'd be happy to."

Kate, who was still holding Alex, looked over to Alexis silently seeking approval from the young woman. The response she got nearly floored her.

"Since you're holding Alex, I'll go and get your things. That is, if you don't mind?"

An emotional tidal wave crashed over the brunette. She couldn't believe that this amazing young woman was making such an effort to welcome her into their family even if her relationship with Rick was in its infancy. "Yes, Alexis that would be wonderful."

"I figure that if we tried to swap Alex she'd wake up, and I'm pretty sure you don't want Dad going through your lingerie drawer."

Xx

Kate sat on the luxurious couch wrapped in one of the most decadently comfortable robes she had ever had the pleasure to wear. Her hair was still damp from her earlier shower. Alex was curled up into Kate's side as she read from the little girl's favorite book. "You are a bird, AND. YOU. ARE. MY. MOTHER!" Kate emphasized each word while placing a kiss upon the top of a very happy Alex's head. Kate looked over the top of the book to see a smiling Alexis seemingly lost in thought. "Everything okay over there 'Lex?"

"Oh yeah, I was just thinking," the young redhead replied.

"You were thinking very loudly. Anything you want to share?"

Xx

Castle exited the bathroom wrapped in the same type of hotel robe that Kate was wearing. As he approached the door he heard Kate ask Alexis if there was anything she wanted to share and he froze. They had gotten along so well today but suddenly it seemed to him that it was all crashing down. He desperately wanted to go in and intervene but he couldn't make his legs move.

"I've been impressed, no...that's not the right word. Mesmerized, yes, mesmerized by you since I met you Kate," the young redhead said. "I've always seen you as this strong woman who didn't take any crap off my dad, who challenged him intellectually as well as emotionally."

Kate leaned back against the couch and listened as Alex picked up one of her dolls and began to play with her.

"You're a career driven woman whom I thought didn't have time for a family," she said, smiling hesitantly.

Kate searched the young woman's eyes. She knew that Alexis had more to say than that and wanted to help her along. Then she saw it: the trepidation, the fear, the longing. "You didn't think I had time for children, did you?"

Alexis nodded in agreement. "I've always wondered why you held Dad off so long when both of you were obviously attracted to each other. The only thing I could come up with was me. I mean, who wants to date a guy with a teenage daughter? But now I see you with Alex and the way you are with me and I…well, I guess I'm confused."

Kate motioned for Alexis to join her on the couch. When the young woman acquiesced, Kate pulled her into a hug similar to the one they shared in the SUV. "Do you know what I thought when I first met your dad?" She felt the young woman shake her head. "That he was one of the greatest fathers that I had ever seen."

Alexis raised her head and looked at Kate. "How did you get that from ' _W_ _here do you want it?'_ " she asked.

"Oh, that wasn't the first time I met him. I met him at a signing for _Storm Chasers._ But let's not tell him that, I wouldn't want it to go to his head. Anyway, there he was signing away and at a table roughly three feet behind him was an adorable little redhead, about six years old, coloring very determinedly. When I got to the front of the line your dad looked up and caught me staring at you. He glanced back to check on you then turned to me and said, 'She's the light of my life, the one person in this world that centers me.' He went on to sign my book; he signed it from Richard Castle and daughter and he wrote that I had been 'the only one who had looked at my daughter not as a way to me but just as a little girl who enjoyed life.'"

"I wish I remembered that Kate, I really wish I remembered the first time I saw you."

"It's okay," she smiled gently. "I was just another person in a long line of people that your dad took time to meet. But I want you to know that your dad's books have helped me through the dark times and that note he wrote to me from the both of you has helped me see the joy in the world when all else failed. When I miss my mom, I read those words and remember that day, the day when a little redhead sitting at a table, oblivious to the events around her, put a smile on two adults' faces." When she finished speaking she pulled Alexis into a powerful hug while placing a kiss upon her head.

"When I saw you and Rick at the signing party I could hardly believe the young woman you had grown into. Let me tell you, you were beautiful that night, and still are."

"Kate, that doesn't explain why you kept Dad waiting." Alexis was genuinely curious now.

"I was scared Alexis. I was scared of how well your dad could see through Detective Beckett to find Kate." She smiled tightly. "Do you know what he said to me when I had him in interrogation that first night?" Again all Alexis could do was shake her head no, but she wanted to know. She was reveling in hearing Kate's side of the story, their story. "He said I had gorgeous eyes. Who says that when you're being questioned about a murder?" she laughed then continued, "I don't want to sound full of myself; I know I'm attractive and I swear I've heard every pick up line under the sun. I've had guys talk about my legs, my ass, even my breasts, but I can't recall anyone's first words to be about my eyes...not until that night. I wasn't expecting that, and to this day I know he was sincere. He really does love my eyes."

"Sorry. I got a little off track. I was scared. Hell, I _am_ scared. He's the only person who has the power to destroy me. I knew it that first night and I know it now. I might have tried to hate him, to keep him at arm's length, but if I'm honest with myself I have to admit that I've loved him for so long…"

The thread of Kate's story was broken by a knock at the door.

Xx

Castle was stunned by the story Beckett had woven in the next room. He'd always felt that Kate never hated him as much as she had claimed in the early months of their unorthodox partnership. As he mused over what Kate had said there was a knock at the door. "I'll get it," he called as he entered the sitting area of the suite.

He was expecting a delivery from room service when he opened the door; he never expected to see Sorenson. "Sorenson, how may I help you?" His voice was strong and determined.

"Is Kate here?" asked the FBI agent, trying to see inside the room.

Castle opened the door to reveal Beckett sitting on the couch beside both of his daughters. "Kate, you have a visitor." He motioned for Will to enter the suite and headed for the bar to refill his glass of wine as well as pouring one for Kate.

He hadn't seen Kate make her way to his side. She reached for the glass and softly kissed his cheek then whispered, "I know you heard Alexis and I talk. I do love you." With that she took her glass of wine and turned to see a shocked Sorenson. "What do you need, Will? Why are you here?"

"I just wanted to let you know we're interviewing Bracken tomorrow at eleven am, so I'll pick you up. You'll need to be ready to leave about eight. I thought we might get a bite of breakfast and go over our game plan."

Kate took a sip of her wine. "I can't make it. We'll be at the zoo tomorrow. We're having a family outing." She looked across the room searching for Castle's eyes, hoping that he wouldn't be upset at her use of family. When she found his eyes she could see that he was anything but upset.

"That's right. We missed our trip today so we decided to go tomorrow. Alex can't wait to see the penguins." He wanted her to know that he would always back her when she wanted to spend time with his daughter.

Sorenson didn't know what to say. Kate had _always_ put her mother's case above everything else in her life. She stayed behind when he moved to Boston. And although she had said it was for her career he knew it was her mother's case that kept her in New York. But here Kate Beckett was saying she would rather go to the zoo than interrogate the man who had ordered her mother's death. "Kate, may I speak with you in private?"

Kate again looked to Rick silently seeking his input. He nodded almost imperceptibly. If Kate didn't know him so well she would have missed it, but he silently let her know he had her back. "Okay. Let's step into the hall."

As soon as the door closed Sorenson turned to her, his stance and voice aggressive. "What the hell, Kate? Where's the Kate Beckett I know?"

Beckett was angry now. "What do you mean?" she seethed.

"The Kate Beckett I knew was an independent career woman, not this," he waved his hands at the door to the suite, "whatever this is!"

"Just what the hell is that supposed to mean? You think that a career woman can't be a family woman too? My mom was the most independent woman who was as career driven as anyone you've ever met. But she still had time for my dad and me." Frustrated and more than a little angry, she ran her hands through her hair and continued, "It sounds to me that you think less of my mom because she had me." He began to speak but she cut him off. "If I decide to speak with Bracken I can do it in New York, but now I'm spending time with Rick and his family."

She turned and opened the door not allowing him to get a word in edgewise.

 **What do you guys think? I wanted this chapter to be emotional, and I wanted Alexis to get a glimpse of what makes Kate tick. I don't know if I pulled it off but I am pleased with this chapter. It was definitely difficult for me to write.**

 **In the upcoming chapters we just might see the trip to the zoo.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Here we go again.**

 **I own nothing.**

LBA Chapter 15

He sat in his office savoring the last sips of his coffee contemplating the past week and how his life had changed. He'd heard the magic words from Kate and if it wasn't for his ribs he was sure that his heart would leap from his chest with joy. _Kate Beckett loves me!_ It was a sentence that he never thought he would hear or say.

Better than that she had put him and his family before the man who ordered her mother's murder. Oh, who was he fooling? It was now _their_ family. She was as big a part of Alexandria's life as he was and the effort she was making with Alexis was more than he could have ever hoped for. If he was being honest with himself he had some of the same doubts about Kate that Alexis had voiced during their talk in the hotel.

He had wondered if she could ever put anyone ahead of Johanna. Not only did she do that, but she did so in a spectacular fashion. All the while making sure that he knew that he was it for her.

She had accepted dating with a purpose without even so much as an eye roll. She was willing to go at his pace letting him take the lead in their relationship. She accepted that he needed time to process things, to make sure that Alex didn't get hurt. And to his amazement Kate and Alex had bonded faster than Alex and Alexis had. Quite honestly, she bonded with Kate faster than she had with him.

And then there was last night... Kate had dinner at the loft then decided to go home. It was the second time in the past week that they'd slept in different beds. The first was due to her going to DC but last night was a choice to be apart. ...Except they didn't sleep apart. As he prepared for bed he got a text from her letting him know she missed him but before he could respond there was a faint knock on the door. When he opened the door he was flabbergasted. There was badass Kate Beckett holding an overnight bag standing in his doorway in what could only be described as a sleep shirt and yoga pants.

She buried her face in the crook of his neck. "I tried to sleep, I really did but you've ruined sleep for me! I can't find a comfortable spot in my bed and it's pissing me off. When did I become this girl anyway?"

"A comfortable spot, huh?" She could feel the smirk on his face as he caressed her hair. "You sure about that?"

He could feel the smile grow on her face as she asked, "What else could it be?"

"Maybe you're missing a ruggedly handsome bedpartner."

She leaned back biting her bottom lip the way she always did when she was nervous. "I think it could be the eighteen hundred thread count sheets. Now let's go to bed, I have an early morning."

Xx

Kate Beckett sat at her desk lost in a daydream. It was her first day back since she had arrested Senator William H. Bracken and everyone in the precinct felt she deserved time to reflect. She was reflecting but not on the arrest or even the events that led up to the arrest. She was daydreaming about the week she had spent with Castle.

She had come to him and announced that she loved him and to her surprise, and everyone they knew, he had effectively turned her down. He offered up dating with a purpose, and if she was honest, truly honest, it was the best thing he could have done for their relationship. It forced both of them to look at the relationship as more than a physical one. Hell, it had yet to be physical, but that would change soon if she had her way. And if she didn't, she would make him relent anyway. She'd caught a glimpse of him entering the shower in DC and everything that made a woman want a man was awakened in her.

But the best thing about the past week, and again if she was honest, was the family time. Since that horrible night when she was nineteen she had put aside all thoughts of family in the pursuit of justice and she had provided that for the victims of that maniacal senator. But again if she was honest with herself, ever since she kicked Josh out of her life and decided to run full bore to Castle, she had been happy. She didn't need justice anymore, just she needed him and his two girls. The fact that Martha and her dad would come along for the ride was just an added benefit.

She was startled out of her thoughts by her phone ringing. "Beckett."

"Hello Beckett, it's Beckett," a playful Jim Beckett announced.

"Dad, it's so good to hear your voice!" She had spoken to her dad the night that the arrest took place. She knew it would make the national news cycle and wanted to make certain that he had someone with him to insure he wouldn't relapse. Kate had always known her dad was one of the strongest men she knew, but his one weakness was his wife. He had fallen before and Kate was so worried that bringing up her mother's murder would be a trigger for him.

"How are things little girl?" he questioned.

"Oh, pretty good if I say so myself. I'm just sitting here thinking about the two men and the four women in my life. And let me tell you, that's a lot to think about. Between Rick and Alex, I'm not sure who's the biggest kid."

The line was quiet for what seemed like an eternity. Just as Kate started to speak Jim broke the silence. "She would be so proud of you, Katie. You know that don't you?"

"Do you really think so Dad?"

"Oh Katie, I know so. She so badly wanted you to have a family and the fact that it's with Rick, well, I know she wouldn't stop talking about it for weeks."

"Daddy, I don't have a family. We're still trying to figure it out. But I want it, I want it so much." She was sure her dad could hear the desperation in her voice.

"Oh Katie, you have it. You two might not have it figured out yet, but that little girl loves you as much as you loved your mom." He paused to catch his breath knowing that his daughter knew he was close to tears. "If there's any man in the world who loves you as much as I loved your mom,it's Rick. Do you know how I know?"

With tears streaming down her face Kate looked up to see the boys staring at her; she knew they were wondering what was going on. But before she could wave off her partners, a newly minted Detective Hastings took care of that and placed her hand on Kate's in an offer of support. "How Dad?"

She heard a deep sigh from her dad before he spoke. "When you were up at the cabin with the good doctor," she could hear the venom dripping from his voice, "I begged Rick to go up there and fight for you, to let you know how much he loved you." He knew that this was a painful thing for her to talk about but he felt she needed to hear it. "What, you don't think I know when a man's in love? Especially with my daughter? Anyway, he said that if Josh made you happy that was enough for him. A few weeks later Martha had a young lady that she wanted Rick to meet but he turned her down. When I asked him why he said, 'I want Kate to be happy with whomever she chooses, but that doesn't mean I can be happy with anyone but her.'"

"Oh Rick," she whispered, her tears turning into sobs as Hastings led her to the breakroom.

"That's one hell of a man you have Katie. That kind of love's only in fairy tales, so grab hold of him and don't let go. I'm only going to say this once, he has my permission whether he knows it or not. He's the only one I will give you to." He waited for his daughter to respond and when she didn't, he spoke again. "Katie, do you understand what I am saying?"

A barely audible voice said, "Yes, Daddy." If a voice could be less than a whisper hers was. "I love you Daddy." She had an undeniable desire to see him. "When will you be home?"

"I get back on Thursday." He knew his daughter well enough to know when she was trying to change the subject but her next words floored him.

"Would you be able to have dinner at the loft?" Her voice was shaky to say the least. As if she was nervous to ask it of him.

"Sure Katie, I would love to have dinner at the loft, and just to clarify you _are_ speaking of Rick's loft aren't you?" He couldn't help teasing his little girl.

"Yes Daaad." She drew out his name just like she did when she was in high school, long before the events that would steal his little girl from him forever. Or was it forever, he mused. She was showing him that his little girl was still in there behind the facade of the hard-boiled, tough as nails detective.

She ended the call with, "I love you," and immediately texted Castle.

 ***Might have done something stupid.***

 ***What could the smartest woman I know do that could be considered stupid?*** was Castle's response.

 ***I invited Dad to dinner at the loft on Thursday.*** She waited for his reply. She could see the thought bubbles on the screen and it seemed like an eternity before his text came through.

 ***Great!*** was all it said and she worried that he was upset that she'd made the offer without clearing it with him first. After all it was his home that she had invited her dad to. She hadn't even cleared her being there with him.

 ***I hope I didn't over step. I saw the bubble where you were typing and it took a long time to type** _ **Great**_ **. I never want to impose.***

This time the response was immediate. ***You didn't impose. I started to type when I saw that Alexandria decided it was a great time to take off her diaper so we ran to the bathroom to attempt potty training. Didn't work by the way, so now I have a little mess to clean up. The life of a single dad... Maybe I should write a book about it.***

She was snickering at that visual. ***Thanks for the lovely visual. I have to get back to work. Hastings is staring at me. Got to go, love you.*** With that she put her phone away and returned to her desk.

Xx

Alexis sat in the corner booth of the coffee shop down the block from the loft. Her friends had gone for ice cream after school but she'd declined their invitation. She wanted a few moments to contemplate the events of the weekend.

She had watched as her dad's girlfriend ( _Was_ she his girlfriend at this point?) arrested the man who had ordered her mother killed. She always knew that arresting him was by far the most important thing in her life. And if she was honest with herself, Alexis was sure that if she was in Kate's shoes, arresting the man who had killed her dad would be the single most important thing in hers.

But what happened that night threw Alexis into a quandary. She had watched as Kate turned down the chance to interrogate that man to spend time at the zoo with them. Never in a million years would she guess that would be how Kate spent Sunday.

But aside from that, Kate had shared something extremely personal with her. She had shared how her dad's books had helped her through the difficult, dark times in her past. Kate had shared it, and shared it with _her_ not her dad. And even more than that, Kate was taking the time to talk with her as an adult, not as a way to her dad's heart.

Alexis had no illusions about the women her dad had dated in the past. She knew he'd dated shallow, self-centered women who only viewed him as a prize, not as a partner in life. She knew that his past mistakes with her mom and Gina played a rather large roll in that. After the end of his last marriage, her dad seemed to gravitate towards bleached blonde bimbos instead of women of substance.

And that's why his infatuation with Kate Beckett intrigued her. Kate was nothing like the women he'd dated since his last divorce; she was smart, savvy, determined. A career woman, just like Gina and, again if she was honest, Meredith had been. But there was something that Kate did that neither of his previous wives had done; Kate thought of her dad as an equal.

Alexis began to gather her things with the intent of heading home when her phone rang. She looked down at the caller id and sighed. "Hey Mom."

A perky voice, almost too perky for a woman pushing forty, replied, "Well, hello to you too. You don't sound too happy to hear from me..." she paused for effect. "Did your dad so something dumb again?"

"No Mom, I was just gathering up my things and heading home. So to what do I owe this wonderful surprise?" She knew if she laid on the theatrics her mom would latch onto that. It was almost like a cat with a laser pointer. But not this time.

"I saw on the news where your dad's pet detective arrested a senator. I can't help but think that will be fodder for another of your dad's books." There was a snarl in her voice that she didn't think Alexis would catch.

"Yes, she got to arrest him. I can't imagine what that must feel like, to put handcuffs on the man who took away her mother. The man who she's been searching for the past fifteen or so years."

"Well, I guess that's a good thing. Maybe now your dad can stop running around playing cop and focus more time on you." She said it so sweetly that Alexis would swear syrup dripped off her tongue as she spoke.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Alexis responded angrily.

"He's spent so much time running around the streets of New York with her that he's neglected his responsibility of raising you."

"Stop Mom! _Just_ _ **STOP**_ _!_ I'm not going to listen to you speak badly about him _or_ Kate, for that matter." The color of Alexis's face matched her hair in anger.

"I wasn't going to say a word about Kate," Meredith backpedaled, trying in vain to defend herself.

"Sure you weren't Mom. Listen, it was great talking with you, but I have to go. I'm getting on the subway and well…well you know how reception is down there," Alexis lied. She was entering their building but didn't want her mom to know that. She would try to prolong a conversation that Alexis had no desire to continue.

"Okay, love you darling."

"Love you too, Mom."

Xx

 **Thoughts?**


	16. Chapter 16

**Here we go again. Hope you like it. I would like to thank LadyAilith for her wonderful editing. I would also like to thank everyone who has taken the time to read and review this little story.**

 **Again I own nothing.**

LBA Chapter 16

"Beckett." She already knew who it was by the sound of "Hard to Handle"by the Black Crowesplaying throughout the precinct. And if she didn't know by the ring tone, the two adorable Castle girls' faces on the screen clued her in.

"Kind of fits him doesn't it?" Javi stated amused.

"You have no idea," she said before she pushed accept.

"Hey babe, tell me you need me," the smooth tones of his voice resonated calming the waves of stress that she didn't know she had.

"Babe, huh?" she replied with a hint of mirth in her voice. The use of that nickname caused an ocean of flutters in her stomach.

"Babe? No, I said 'Beckett.' I think you're hearing what you want to hear," he said with a chuckle.

"How's it going? And how is Alex handling having to be still?" she questioned.

"Alex is doing just fine. Me on the other hand...let's just say I would be if Mother would have let me give her the loan myself," he said as he picked up Alex and ambled out into the lobby.

"You have to be proud that Martha's getting back on her feet. She really is a remarkable woman, Rick." She leaned back in her chair as she spoke. If he were there he would tease her that she was trying to entice him with her chest.

As Castle listened to Beckett speak he noticed three people dressed in scrubs enter the bank and he got suspicious. "Kate, I think this bank is about to be robbed."

"Okay writer man, why do you think that?" Before he could answer an unknown voice broke her train of thought.

"Everyone get down now!" The voice was masculine and strong.

"Beckett I don't think, I know it's being robbed! There are three doctors in scrubs brandishing semi-automatic weapons…" Before he could finish a new voice interrupted.

"Four, make that four doctors. So you're my hero and you have a little one. You think I won't kill you because you have a kid?" he said snidely. "You might have just made this little one the child of a single parent. Now give me that phone."

Before he could hang up he heard Kate on the other end and she got his attention. "Listen here, no one has been hurt so you can just walk away. I promise we won't come after you." As Beckett spoke she motioned for Hastings, writing _10-30 New Amsterdam_ _B_ _ank_ on a sticky note. When Hastings saw that she immediately ran into to the captain's office letting her know the situation at the bank.

"You called the cops?" the leader questioned incredulously.

"I was already on the phone with her when you came in," Castle said as he tugged Alex closer to him, shielding her from the sight of the guns. "She's my partner."

"You're a cop!?"

"Civilian investigator," Castle hastily responded.

Xx

"I want to talk to the hot cop with the bedroom voice," the presumed leader demanded of Captain Peterson, the head hostage negotiator.

To say Peterson was not impressed was an understatement. He had twenty-five years with the NYPD the last fifteen as a hostage negotiator. "I'm not sure who you're talking about."

" _Do not_ try and play me or I _will_ start killing hostages! And I'm not sure who I'll start with first, her partner or her partner's kid!" he paused to let that sink in before he continued, "You have ten minutes before I start tossing bodies out in the street. _**DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?**_ "

"Perfectly," Peterson replied. When he heard the line disconnect he called out to a subordinate, "Get me that detective that was in here earlier."

Xx

Kate was outside the Command Center, her anger well passed pissed off edging toward borderline mass murder when a flash of ginger hair caught her eye. She recognized the young woman immediately. "Alexis, where did you come from?" Before Alexis could speak Beckett motioned to the uniformed officer. "Let her pass, she's with me."

Alexis looked at the officer who was raising the crime scene tape. "Thank you."

"My pleasure miss," the freckle-faced patrolman said.

Kate was shocked by the scarlet hue the young woman's face took. After taking Alexis under her arm she looked back at the patrolman. "He's cute." Before Alexis could answer, but well after she had turned completely red, Kate continued, "What? Can't I appreciate a good-looking man?"

Alexis elbowed Kate in the side. "What would Dad say?"

Now it was Kate's turn to blush. "We just won't tell him about the hot officer, now will we?"

No, we won't." Kate could see the instant that Alexis's mind went back to the situation. "I was going to surprise them for lunch. I was just about to call you to see if you would meet us when all of these cars showed up." She motioned to the Crown Vics that obstructed each end of the block.

"They're all okay. I was on the phone with him when they entered," she said as she smiled weakly at the young woman. "You would be so proud of him, he figured it out before they even started the robbery."

"Beckett!" Kate turned around to see Ann Hastings rushing towards her. "The captain wants you. He says you have five minutes to get there."

Beckett looked at the younger Castle, not wanting to leave her, but needing to know what was going on. "Ann, this is Alexis, Castle's daughter. She's very important to me, so I want you to stay with her until this is over." She looked Hastings directly in the eye. "Do you understand me?"

Sensing that this was a difficult moment for Beckett, Hastings immediately replied, "Sure thing Beckett. I won't leave her till this is over. You have my word."

Kate pulled Alexis into a hug that could only be described as motherly, placed a small kiss atop her head and headed back into the trailer.

Xx

"You wanted in, so now you're in. What'd you do, try to seduce him?" the captain snarled.

The tech in the Command Center dialed the main phone line to the bank; when the connection was made he motioned for Beckett to take the hand set. "So what do I call you?" she queried.

"Trapper John." The entire command center could hear his response as the tech placed him on speaker.

"Establish a rapport with him. Keep him calm," the captain said.

"Oh, so you're a _MASH_ fan. I'm Kate, by the way," she answered.

"Kate, Kate, Kate. Are you running that idiot's play book?" She started to answer but Trapper John cut her off. "If you want to get these people out alive you need to scrap his plan. I don't like him anyway."

"That makes two of us." She looked at the captain and shrugged mouthing, " _Y_ _ou wanted a rapport."_

"Why don't we get down to the part where you ask me about my demands?" He was smug, and she hated it.

"Well, what the hell do you want?" she asked as her anger rose.

"I want you to come in here and get this little girl." She was shocked; she had expected him to want a bus or helicopter, not for her to get Alex.

"I'm on my way." She was nearly out of her seat before she finished answering.

"Oh, and Kate...no guns. I would hate to have to shoot your 'partner.' So let's play by my rules, shall we?"

"Got it." She took off her gun, made sure her badge was prominently displayed on her hip and started out of the Command Center.

"Just where in the hell are you going?" the captain asked with disdain.

"To get Alex," she replied as she quickly opened the door.

As Kate passed Alexis and Ann Hastings she stopped and spoke with the young woman. "I'm going to get Alex. When I bring her out I want you to take her. I don't know what else I'll have to do and your sister will need you." Alexis couldn't say a word as the tears welled up in her eyes. She just nodded her assent.

Xx

The entire time they had been held hostage Rick had been trying to gather intelligence. He wasn't sure what he would do with it but he wanted to be able to help in any way he could. He had been able to get the leader, "Trapper John," to allow bathroom visits. During his turn he noticed that they were interested in a specific security deposit box. He also noticed something that frightened him...C-4.

When he returned Trapper John had asked for Kate to come get Alex. If it was possible to be happy about this situation he was now. His daughter was going to be out of harm's way and that was all he cared about.

Just as Kate made it to the door a fellow hostage began to convulse. "What's wrong with him?" asked the robber that went by "Dr. Quinn."

"He's having a seizure!" Castle noticed an medical alert bracelet on the man's wrist. He took a closer look and said, "He's an epileptic." As they started to try and help, Castle moved back to his daughter, took out a diaper out of the bag and quickly scratched a note on it, barely having time to replace it.

Trapper John motioned for two on the gunmen to grab the man who had convulsed while he made his way to Kate. "So you're Kate. Spread'em Ms. hot cop."

Beckett did as she was ordered and he began to pat her down. Her eyes never left Castle as he did. As he did his search he paid particular attention to her crotch and as he made his way up to her chest he lingered, all the while Castle was shooting daggers at him with his eyes. Trapper John leaned in and whispered in Kate's ear, "I don't think he likes this too much. But you don't seem to be complaining."

Castle's patience had worn thin and he started to get up but was shoved back down by "Dr. Huxtable." "You don't like the way I searched her?" Trapper John sneered. "Well, I don't think there's much you can do about it."

"You better hope I don't get the chance to."

"I think your partner has a crush on you," he said and then did the unconceivable. He licked the side of her face! "Get the kid and take the pregnant woman with you."

Beckett made her way to Castle and picked up Alex. He handed her the diaper bag. "Same deal as Alexis." It was a statement more than a question; she couldn't speak, she just nodded.

She turned and headed for the door where not only was the pregnant woman waiting but also the epileptic man, slumped in a heap on the floor. "Give the kid to her and drag him out with you." She could tell that Trapper John enjoyed being in control.

"If anything happens to him, _I will find you and I will kill you._ " Her voice was cold and calculating. He could tell she wasn't making an idle threat.

Xx

Alexis's eyes were locked on the entrance to the bank and had been since Beckett entered. After what seemed like an eternity but was in reality only ten minutes or so, she saw movement at the door. She pushed against the barricades trying to get a better view when the door opened. To her surprise she saw a pregnant woman carrying her sister followed closely behind by Kate who was practically dragging what looked like an unconscious man. She was amazed by the speed of the SWAT and paramedics that met Kate.

Beckett took the youngest Castle and ran to Alexis, seeing the young woman's frightened face. "How are they?"

"Your dad and Martha are fine. They look scared but they're fine."

"Kate, they have to make it out of there. They just have to; they're all we have. Do you hear me, _they are all we have_. If something happens to them we're all alone."

Kate had never seen the young woman so upset and she did the only thing she could, she took her in her arms drawing Alexis and Alex into a deep hug. "No, you two are never alone. You have lots of people who love and care for you. You've welcomed me into your family and that goes two ways. God forbid if something happens, but you have my dad and I along with Lanie and the boys. We all love you."

Seeing that Alexis was regaining control of her emotions Beckett asked, "Can you take her from me? If I know your dad he found a way to get us a message." She handed the young woman her sister and began searching the diaper bag. She found the diaper with his note on it. "Oh shit! I need to go for a minute, but I promise I'll be right back."

Kate flew to the Command Center bursting through the door bringing a halt to the conversations between Captain Peterson and his team. "What intel can you give us detective?" the slightly balding captain demanded.

"Castle wrote a note on a diaper: Safety Deposit 120 C-4." The fear in her eyes was evident to everyone present.

"Okay, what can you tell me about them?"

As she was about to open her mouth the Command Center rocked and a thunderous roar broke the silence. "Oh God _**NO**_! _"_ She ran out into the street to see the windows of the bank blown out. The glass and debris from what was left of the bank's front was strewn as far as the eye could see.

She caught Alexis's eye and she was sure that the mask of fear that the young woman wore rivaled her own. She didn't wait for the SWAT team, she lead them into the bank all the while calling out his name in fear. She was sure that what she would find would break her. And it would if she hadn't less than ten minutes ago declared to his daughter that she would have always have someone to take care of them.

Again she called his name and again the silence was deafening. As she made her way through the rubble her whole body was drawn to the spot that minutes ago...no, a lifetime ago since she took his little girl from him. Only to find a destroyed desk. No body! He wasn't there! She called his name again even louder than before if that was possible. And she listened. She listened as if her life depended on it. It did. Her entire future would be changed if she received an answer. And her life would be changed if she didn't.

Nothing. Not a peep. She dropped to her knees and screamed his name. It was blood curdling and brought the entry team to a halt. Again she screamed and she thought she heard a sound. It was muffled but she thought she heard it. She sprang up and ran calling out his name with every breath. She got to the vault; the door was damaged from the blast but was operational. She called out his name again and could hear him growl her name. She forced back the door and saw him. She ran towards him, launching herself at him. When she landed at his feet she reached up and grabbed his face pulling him into the fiercest kiss she had ever given, not caring who saw her.

She had heard his words at the cemetery but what she didn't know was how strong the feelings were. Now she did. She realized that she loved him with every fiber of her being. And it felt wonderful.

"I love you so damn much!" Hearing those words brought a smile to his face before she reclaimed his mouth.

Xx

 **I would like to add that I rarely use an episode for a story, other than a starting point. But I thought that there were so many wonderful uses for this episode in this story. It also gave me the chance to 'fix' what I thought that they missed in it.**

 **Kate had agreed to take care of Alexis in season two and when Alexis said she would have no one Kate didn't step up to the plate.**

 **I also felt that Kate would have broken down when she entered and didn't see Castle where he had been. Maybe that is just wishful thinking but that's how I feel. By the look on her face when she got to him, she was definitely in love with him during this time.**

 **Thoughts?**


	17. Chapter 17

**Back again. Sorry that this update has taken so long, but sometimes I just don't want to write and the news with Stana and Tamala didn't help.**

 **I own nothing.**

LBA 17

Kate stood in the kitchen of Richard Castle's loft and took in the sights around her. Her father was sitting in a chair with a nearly two-year-old sitting in his lap playing peek-a-boo with him and the smile that was radiating from his face was contagious. She couldn't remember a time when he seemed so happy.

All the while Castle was going on and on to Alexis about how brave Martha had been in the bank. How she had tried to throw herself between the robber and himself. His arms were flailing animatedly as he told his story.

"He never doubted that you would get us out. He had all the faith in the world that you would." Kate turned to Martha and smiled while tears filled her eyes. "And neither did I kiddo, neither did I." Martha gripped Kate's hand and gave a gentle squeeze. "Now, how about we leave all these maudlin thoughts to another time. Tonight is a night of celebration. So let's celebrate!"

"Of course Martha. Let me get started with dinner," Kate replied, all the while trying to bring herself out of her reflections. She got the chicken out of the refrigerator, set it on the counter, then called to Alexis, "Can you come and help me with this?"

When Alexis arrived in the kitchen Martha smiled at the two young women. "I think that's my cue."

"Kate, is something wrong?" the young red head asked.

Kate pulled out a pan from the cabinet, surprising herself that she remembered where they were kept. She hadn't cooked in his home since he allowed her to stay those few weeks after her apartment was blown up. "Have I ever told you about my mom?"

Shaking her head slightly, a nervous Alexis shyly responded, "No, I don't think you have."

While cutting up the chicken breasts, Kate continued, "She was an amazing woman. She believed that everyone, no matter their race, creed, or gender, was equal in the eyes of the law. That criminals were due a modicum of respect, not for the crimes they committed but because they were human beings. She taught me that you had to stand up to injustice no matter the consequences for yourself, and she did all of this while being an insanely wonderful mother and wife."

Alexis was silent as the older woman continued, "Once when I was in elementary school, fourth or maybe fifth grade, there were a couple of girls who were picking on a boy at recess. He was a couple of years younger than us and I guess they thought it was fun to bully him. I stepped in to stop it, and well, things got out of hand. We were taken to the principal's office and our mothers were called. When our moms got there they listened to what happened and the punishments that we were to serve. The two bullies' moms tried to fight it saying that their 'precious little girls wouldn't hurt a fly' but they were suspended for three days. I was suspended for two days for starting the fight."

Alexis interrupted, "But you were defending that little boy!"

Kate looked at the young girl who championed her so adamantly. "Yes, I felt the same way, but that's when Mom reminded me that even though we do things for the right reasons, sometimes there are consequences." She smiled at Alexis and continued, "When we left Mrs. Priestley's office she said that even though there were consequences that didn't mean that we couldn't get ice cream. And she wanted hear the story of how I kicked their butts!"

Alexis snickered and reached for her drink, pausing to say, "I really wish I could have met her."

As tears threatened to fall from her eyes Kate said, "So do I Alexis. Now let me show you why I asked you in here. This is the first thing my mother taught me to cook and well…I thought you would, I mean I want to share it with you." Looking up nervously she continued, "That is if you would want to learn how to make it." Alexis sat there with a look on her face that could only be called shock with a hint of adoration. When she finally spoke she could hear the breath that Kate was holding release. "I would be honored."

As they worked around the kitchen with the sound of bowls clattering and dishes clinking, Alexis spoke again. "Kate, you may not know it but we need you. Alex and me, we need you. Sure I'm going to school soon, and I won't be living here, but I need you. These past three plus years you have been the most stable female presence in my life." Kate began to protest but was cut off by Alexis. "I know when Dad gives me advice and I know when Dad gives me advice he got from you. You may not know it but you have been a quasi-mother to me for years. And I love you for it. I love you just as much as I love my own mom, maybe more. That being said, Alexandria is going to need you too, and you're going to have to be here for her. You're going to have to make her the most important thing in your life after Dad," she paused to gather herself, her eyes were betraying her. "If you can't do that, then you need to pick up your bag and head out that door. Alex deserves someone who will always love her above everything else."

Now it was Kate's turn to be stunned. She had just been given an ultimatum by an eighteen-year-old. As she stood there mulling over Alexis's words, she was shocked when she realized she had no desire to grab her bag and bolt for the door and that scared her. She was not only in love with Castle but she was willing, no, _wanting_ _,_ to be his wife and mother to his kids. When did that happen? Sure she had said she wanted him, and they were willing to take it slow with their relationship, but after the events of the bank she realized that she didn't just love him. It was easy to love someone, but to want to spend the rest of her life with them, to enter into the last relationship she would ever have? To know this was last man she would ever kiss, snuggle with, and make love with, that was overwhelming and freeing all at the same time.

As she was reflecting she saw the point when Alexis realized that she didn't think she would stay. Her shoulders slumped and her head drooped. Alexis dropped the spatula that she was using in a bowl and started to leave the kitchen when Kate grabbed her and pulled her into a hug.

"I love you! I love Alex and your dad, and I'm not going anywhere," she assured her. The dread that had filled Alexis just moments ago vanished from her eyes, replaced by hope as Kate whispered into her ear, "If your dad asked me to marry him today I would say no, it's too soon. But tomorrow or a month from now that answer might be different. I can promise you that one day I will say yes, and we will be a family. I love you all that much!"

"We love you too!" Alexis whispered and softly kissed her cheek.

Xx

Dinner had been a success, everyone had loved the Chicken Marsala that Kate and Alexis had prepared. They all had spent the evening laughing and joking. Kate told embarrassing stories of Castle at the precinct and her dad returned the favor with stories of her as a child. As the evening wound down Alexis called it a night and returned to her room. She laid in her bed and the thoughts of the stories from the evening as well as the day at the zoo replayed in her mind.

 _They had spent the day laughing at the monkeys, comparing Castle as well as the lions and elephants. She knew_ _from the few nights she had spent in his room that Castle loved lions. He had a picture of one that_ _,_ _if she w_ _as_ _honest, creeped her out. She was tolerating it, but in the future it would have to go._

 _They laughed all the way to the penguins then her mood changed. "Kate are you alright? You seem to have zoned out there_ _,_ _" Alexis_ _remarked as she_ _walk_ _ed_ _stride for stride with the detective_ _,_ _their arms locked together._

" _The_ _y_ _were one of my mom's favorites. She loved penguins, she loved how they mated and both parents took care of the eggs. She said that's how a family should be, that parents should be a team."_ _Kate_ _wiped a tear from her eye. "When I was young, not much older than Alex,_ _D_ _ad and I started to buy her figurines for Christmas. We always got her a penguin and an owl. She loved both of them."_

 _They left the penguin_ _enclosure_ _and made their way toward the owls at Alexis's insistence. As they stood there an_ _d_ _admired the birds Alexis asked_ _,_ _"Where are the figurines now?"_

" _They_ _'_ _re in a box in my storage building. About six months after she died I boxed up things that reminded us of her from_ _D_ _ad's house. Put them into storage." What she didn't say was that her dad was so deep into the bottle by then that he hadn't even noticed that they were gone. She was so afraid that during one of his drunken rages that he would be unable to keep himself from destroying the thing_ _s_ _of her mother's that she held dear._

 _Alexis could see the turmoil just below the surface of Kate's eyes_ _and_ _drew her closer into a hug. "Why don't we head back to the hotel?"_ _s_ _he asked_ _hesitant_ _ly. When Kate nodded she added_ _,_ _"Maybe we can get them out of storage in the future. That_ _'_ _s if you want." In a whisper Kate replied_ _,_ _"I would like that_ _—_ _you_ _,_ _me_ _,_ _and Alex. I would like that very much."_

Alexis whispered to herself, "S _oon_ _,"_ before she drifted off to sleep.

Xx

As Jim Beckett prepared to leave, Kate rose and seemed to join him. She reached into the foyer closet, retrieved her coat, and began to shrug it on. Castle put his arms on her shoulders and brought her actions to a halt. "Please stay." The brokenness in his voice wasn't missed by Kate, who immediately returned her coat to the closet and kissed her father's cheek. "Drive safe Dad."

Jim had always been a stoic man. So much so that his late wife use to tease him that the faces on Mount Rushmore had a better chance of crying than him. But tonight he could hear the emotion in Rick's voice and see the look in his daughter's eyes and he knew. He knew that the events of the day had profoundly changed both of them and the change was for the better.

He knew that his friend was a good man, he had proven it numerous times over the past four years. The stories that his daughter told of how he was always there for her, made sure she ate, that she didn't get lost in a case; if that was all, he knew it was enough. He had seen him with her when they found the tape and if he had any doubts that he would drop everything for his daughter, they were alleviated that day.

He was Castle to her but he was Rick to him. Rick had been there for him over the summer, had made sure that he didn't relapse. Oh, he knew that he was doing it for Kate, but having someone to talk to, someone who loved Kate as much if not more than him was oddly comforting. Even if they didn't discuss Kate, there was someone to talk with, someone who would make sure he didn't lose himself again. And it gave him a purpose, to make sure his friend didn't lose himself, try to dull the pain the way he had in the past.

He also knew that his daughter had been in love with this remarkable man for longer than she cared to admit. She was a strong, independent woman who would fight tooth and nail if she was saddled with someone that she hated, the mayor be damned. When they first talked about Rick, all she did was complain. But sooner than later the conversation became, "Rick did this, Rick said that, Rick is the best father that I have ever met, present company excluded."

Then there was the surprise when she was stayed with him after her apartment was blown up. He was sure that they had begun a relationship but when she asked him to meet her for lunch, she introduced him to a detective. To say he was shocked was an understatement, but that relationship didn't last too long.

Next there was the summer from hell. Her relationship with the robbery detective had been short so he knew that it wasn't Tom who broke her heart. But her heart was broken all the same. It only got better when she met the doctor who would later propose. She seemed better but it wasn't until she mentioned the name Castle that she was better. Repaired. Loved.

Jim broke from his thoughts, "I will little girl. Make sure that you let him love you, and love them back. All of them, all of the Castles."

"I already do Daddy, I love the four of them so much. I never want to leave this loft, this is it for me and if it doesn't work out I think I might just die. And it scares the hell out of me."

"Oh, Katie, that's love. You're in love and it looks good on you."

Kate watched her dad until he entered the elevator, waving back as he waved before the closing of the doors claimed his image. She closed the door and turned to Castle. She caught a glimpse of him in the kitchen pouring two glasses of wine.

He noticed her staring, "What?" He turned in a circle, trying to lighten the mood. "Is there something on my back?"

She bit her bottom lip and shook her head, "No, nothing on your back."

Castle handed her one of the glasses of red, taking her free hand and leading her through the office into what was quickly becoming their room. He continued into the bathroom and started the water for the tub.

Kate stood at the entrance to the en suite watching with great curiosity as he poured in bubble bath and a pinch of baking soda. He laid two towels on the warmer and two robes on the counter, never uttering a word as he went along. When he finished with his undertaking, he turned his back to her and undressed, slipping into the tub. He looked up at her, eyes bright with unshed tears. "Join me?"

It was the same broken voice that she heard earlier at the door and it shattered her heart. She slowly began to move, undressing along the way until she was standing naked before the tub. This moment wasn't sensual or erotic. It wasn't about pleasure. It was about an emotional man who needed a strong woman to help him through the pain. If she could be that for him she would, for this was a man who normally filled a room with such joy.

She placed her glass on the edge of the tub and slipped into the vee formed by his legs. His arms snaked around her waist drawing her close to his chest. Burrowing his head into her hair, he said, "I thought I lost everything today. When you walked out of that bank with Alex, I was sure I would never see my girls again." A sob escaped his lips and he pulled her tighter to his chest. "You'll take care of them right? If something happens to me, you'll take care of them?"

Her eyes seemed to instantly fill with tears and her voice cracked as she said the one word she could get out. The one word that meant everything to them, "Always."

At hearing their word he placed a kiss to the back of her head. "I thought I would never see you again and suddenly all of this waiting, all of this going slow seemed so irrelevant. It seems so stupid, you don't have to prove anything to me, never have."

She shifted her body slightly so she could see his face. "Rick, I love you and I have for a long time. I may not have been honest with myself in the past, but I am now." Before she could continue he captured her mouth with his. This kiss was hot and passionate and needy all in one. They poured all of their hurt, all of their desire, all of their hunger for each other into that one kiss and when it ended with both of their chests heaving, Kate's lips brushed against the shell of his ear.

"Rick take me to bed."

And so he did.

 **I know Kate has here elephants from Joanna, but I added the others. We don't know much about her mom so I just went with it.**

 **Please review.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Here's another chapter, hope you like it.**

LBA Chapter 18

The warmth on her face from the glimmer of light that was breaking through the window woke Kate from her slumber. As she stretched her lithe body, arching her back in search of the warmth, she reached for him only to find that was alone. Her eyes immediately opened searching for him. That was when the smell of fresh coffee invaded her nostrils.

She reached for the cup that was so much more to them than coffee. It was a cup that said, _"I love you, I will always be here for you, and you are the most important thing in my life,"_ all rolled up in one. She pulled the sheet up covering her naked form and took a sip of the love he had delivered, letting out a slight moan as the liquid slid down her throat. _'Oh how I love that man!'_ she thought.

She finished her cup and made her way to their closet pulling on one of his blue button downs and a pair of yoga pants before heading in the kitchen. As soon as she cleared the bedroom she was hit with the smell of bacon frying. When she saw him her face broke out in the biggest smile she thought had ever graced her face. He was standing there in a Darth Vader apron holding a spatula, but not any spatula – one that was modeled after Vader's red light saber. _'My god how I love this man!'_

Castle didn't have to see her to know she was behind him, he could feel her. He had always been able to feel when she was near and this morning it was no different. As he turned he saw the grin on her face that he was sure matched his own.

"Hey." She said as she let her hair fall down hiding her eyes. _Oh she's nervous._ This revelation took him by surprise, kick ass Beckett, the one person he knew who isn't afraid of anything or anyone is nervous.

"Hey, sleep well?" he smirked.

"Yeah, I did and you?"

"Best night of sleep I might have ever had." He was in full bore gloating mode now.

"Don't gloat, it's really doesn't suit you," she said as she snatched a piece of bacon off of the plate. "Pancakes? Really?"

"Well according to Espo, it's how you say thank you for last night," he said as he turned back to the stove to stir the scrambled eggs.

She leaned up on her toes brushing a kiss against the shell of his ear. "Maybe I should be the one to make the pancakes, Rick." She drew out his name the way she knew drove him crazy. She let out a giggle and turned, heading to the stairs. "I'll get the girls up. If you are going to cook such a wonderful breakfast the least we can do is eat it while it's hot."

He heard the patter of little feet coming down the hall and turned to see his youngest daughter along with his... his what? Girlfriend? No, that didn't sound right, they were much too old to use that term. His lover? Maybe, but the previous night was the first time they had made love. His Kate, yeah, she was his Kate and he was her Rick and for now that was enough.

"Blin!" Alex squealed. And he searched Beckett's eyes, who was standing behind the young girl, looking for an answer. She smiled and leaned down to talk with Alex. Moments later he heard his daughter say, "Pincak Papa!"

"Yes, baby girl, pancakes. Did you sleep well?"

"Yes, Papa." She turned to Kate and raised her hands for assistance into her high chair.

Kate poured glasses of juice for the two girls and heard Alexis thank her when she took her seat. The breakfast was going wonderfully, that was until Martha floated down the stairs and took in the scene. Kate was rubbing Castle's back as he cut up another pancake for Alex. "Oh my god you two, lose the 'I just got laid faces!'"

With that Alexis spewed juice out her nose, "Grams!"

"Mother!"

"Martha!"

"What? Did I say something that wasn't true?" the aging diva coyly asked.

"Mother, please!"

Again Martha asked, "Well, did I?"

"Oh my god, Mother please." Castle was trying his best to get her to stop.

A thoroughly embarrassed Kate answered, "If we say yes can this conversation end?"

Alexis spoke up, "Yes, please. No kid wants to think of her parents having sex." When she realized what she said her hand flew to her mouth trying to pull the words out of thin air and put them back from whence they had come. Alexis looked as if she wanted to crawl under the table.

Beckett, who was staring at Alexis, never saw Martha move to her but was startled out of her thoughts at the touch on her shoulder. "This can't be a surprise to you. You have been more of a mother to her than her own. And I for one thank you for it." In a move that completely floored everyone in the room, she bent down and placed a kiss on the young woman's head. "Now everyone, let's let Katherine catch her breath shall we?"

Completely changing the subject, Castle asked what Kate's plans were for today and her response surprised him. "I thought I would take the girls to the park and then maybe meet Lanie for lunch." After she said it she began to feel nervous, like she had overstepped. "That is if it's okay, and if Alexis wants to go."

A smile crept across his face, one that lit up his eyes. "Never doubt that that will be okay." He reached across and pulled her to him capturing her lips in a chaste kiss. "I'll head to the Haunt and check on the upgrades."

Xx

Castle entered the Haunt with a flurry of excitement, greeting his manager as he did. "Brian, my man, how are things going today?"

"Great boss! And you?" he replied as he wiped down the bar that still needed cleaning from last night. "We had a big crowd last night, they didn't get out of here until close to three this morning. Oh, I almost forgot, Mr. Beckett's upstairs with the contractors. By the way I saw on the news what happened yesterday. Please don't let anything like that happen again."

"I'll try." Castle headed for the stairs only to stop before leaving the bar. "Brian I want to thank you for all you do. If it wasn't for you I don't think we would make it, and I really mean that. You are the heart and soul of this place and don't think I don't know it."

A thoroughly humbled Brian replied, "Thanks boss. You don't know what that means to me."

Castle smiled and continued on his merry way knowing the events of last night had changed his outlook about yesterday. His relationship with Kate had taken a huge step forward. She was spending the day with his daughters for god's sake.

"I didn't think I would see you here today Rick. I thought you would spend the day with your family after the events of yesterday," Jim said snapping him out of his daydream of Kate.

"I would have but your daughter commandeered my daughters this morning. She wanted a girls' day out. I even think she is meeting Lanie this afternoon. Lord help me if Dr. Parrish starts influencing the double A's."

Jim had a confused look on his face then it clicked and he chuckled. "Double A's huh? I bet Alexis doesn't know that little nickname, does she?"

Castle slapped the older man on his back, "I suspect not and I would rather she not anytime soon. She might just kill me."

The older man laughed. "I suspect so!" He turned his attention to the renovations. "Let me show you where we are at with these upgrades."

As the two men were made their way around the kitchen the contractor joined them. They talked about the convection oven and the gas grill that were being installed. Castle was spending more than most would on the gas products but he had always thought that bar food should be cooked with gas. It just seemed to give it a more pleasing taste.

They made their way around to see the where the new ice maker would sit as well as the difficulties that adding cold storage was causing. Sure beer had to be kept cold but that cooler was on the first floor behind the bar but that wasn't a freezer. He decided that a new cooler and freezer was needed on the second floor. His contractor tried to get him to add a freezer to the first floor. The cost saving would be substantial, but Rick refused. He didn't want someone to have to carry the frozen food items up to the second floor. Even Jim had weighed in saying that the new dumb waiter could be used to transport the food and Rick steadfastly refused, citing that the chef would need to look at the products when there was a special guest that might need a slightly personal touch.

As they finished Castle cornered Jim in the kitchen. "I know you're trying to reduce your work load and I appreciate that. I also can't do this addition without you, but I wonder if you would mind taking on one more client at the office?"

Jim's head was spinning trying to think of why Rick could possibly need a new lawyer. "Sure, but I don't think I'm capable of representing you. I'm sure you would need a team of lawyers."

"Oh I do. No, I don't need one but I think Kate will," Castle replied cryptically.

Now Jim was beginning to worry. "Why on earth would Katie need a lawyer?"

"Well, if we're going to merge our lives, I'm sure that you will want some protection for her. Something to insure that she isn't taken advantage of," Castle replied as he stared at the spot that the ice maker would sit.

Jim smiled, "I don't think she has anything to worry about with you."

"No, Jim, she doesn't, but that doesn't mean that she shouldn't be protected as we merge," he said wistfully. "The first thing I want you and my lawyers to work out concerns the most important things in my life. The double A's. I want to make sure that if something happens to me she has custody of both Alex and Alexis."

This revelation came as a complete surprise to Jim. He had assumed that Alex would be involved if there was ever a marriage but he never dreamed that Alexis would also. Richard Castle never ceased to amaze him. "I understand Alex but not Alexis. Please tell me what you're thinking."

Rick hopped up on the construction draft table, swinging his legs in a nervous habit that went back to grade school. "I haven't even spoken with Kate about this but I think that you know that I love her. I have for some time. And sometime in the future I intend to ask her to marry me. Now I hope her answer is yes, but with us you never know."

He was interrupted by Jim, "Now Rick, I think we both know what that answer will be."

"I hope so, but let's assume for this discussion that she said no or god forbid something happened to me prior to posing the question. I want her to have custody of my girls. I want her to be their mother. I know that Alexis has a mother but she has no custodial rights. Meredith's only able to see Alexis because of my kindness. She chose to give up her rights for a lump sum which, by the way, I was happy to pay."

Jim's confusion seemed to grow more as Castle spoke. "I really don't understand."

Castle's eyes shone with unshed tears. "Meredith isn't mother material and she never was. But she will come back into Alexis's life if she thinks there's a payday to be had. I just want to insure that my daughter never has to deal with that side of her mother if something happens to me. Can you and my lawyers make sure that it never comes to that? Can you make sure if I die tomorrow that my girls will spend the rest of their lives with your daughter?"

Jim's eyes glistened answered, "I give you my word. They will spend their lives with Katie and I will love them as my own grandchildren. To tell you the truth, even before Katie returned with the doctor I always thought of Alexis as my grandchild. And I would move heaven and earth for her. And Alexandria, well, she's mine. I won't share her with anyone but Martha."

"Thank you Jim. Raymond will be in touch. Now how about let's go and get an ice cream?"

"Sounds good!" And with that Jim and Rick headed to the nearest Ben and Jerry's. One thinking about gaining two grandchildren and the other lost in dreams of a certain long-legged brunette.

Xx

Kate and the girls made their way to Remy's to meet Lanie. The park had been an adventure, they had played and fed the pigeons as Beckett tried to teach Alexis some Russian. She had thought Alexis needed to know phrases to help her little sister with English. It had been easier than Kate had thought. Alexis took to the new language like she did everything else – perfectly.

Now as they neared the diner she saw her friend waving from the corner. "Girl you're late! What took you guys so long? I'm about to starve!" the ME said expressing her displeasure at waiting.

Looking at her father's watch Kate cried out, "Oh stop it Lanie! We're only three minutes late."

Lanie gave her best glare trying to scare the detective but it had no effect. "Five minutes! You guys are five minutes late!"

Giving her best glare back Kate responded, "Lanie, have you ever tried to wrangle a two-year-old?" When the ME didn't respond Kate continued, "I didn't think so. But we're here now so let's eat."

As they sat down at the table Lanie was intrigued at the dynamic taking place across the table from her. Kate was getting Alex into the booster seat and wiping the littlest Castle's hands off, all the while Alexis was searching for a sippy cup in the tiny girl's bag. "Motherhood looks good on you!"

Alexis, who had taken a seat beside Lanie snickered, "Yes, it does. You should have seen Kate and Dad this morning, you would have thought they both were our parents. And then Grams busted them…" Alexis hand flew to her mouth and her eyes grew to the size of saucers. Her reddening face matched that of Beckett's.

Lanie sniffed a story and she wasn't going to let it pass. "What did Grams bust them doing?"

Kate snipped at Lanie, "Don't you dare try to get a story out of Alexis!" She turned to Alexis, "Don't worry about her. She isn't going to ask anymore questions." Looking back at Lanie, "Are you?" she asked flatly.

Lanie was both amused and awed by how quick Beckett had gone into momma bear mode. "No, I don't think I am."

After the women placed their orders Kate leaned forward, "We'll have a girl's night out very soon and I'll tell you all about it okay?" Lanie's eyes grew wide and a smile blossomed across her face that rivaled Kate's. She nodded in agreement as Kate continued, "But right now Alexis and I want to talk to you about an internship."

Xx

All the way home Kate and Alexis laughed about Lanie's reaction. They continued to laugh as they reached the loft, but all of the laughter ended when they opened door and were met by multiple Louis Vuitton suitcases.

Alexis let out a shyly whimpered, "Mom..."

 **Thoughts?**


	19. Chapter 19

**Sorry for the delay.**

 **I own nothing**

LBA Chapter 19

Meredith came out of the office to greet the new arrivals to the loft. She was wearing a crisp white dress shirt with one too many buttons undone for Kate's taste. Her pencil skirt was black with white pinstripes that hugged her curves. The ensemble was topped off by Christian Louboutin pumps with a four inch heel. She looked the part of a sexy movie star even if she wasn't the latter part of that statement.

To say Kate felt underdressed facing Castle's first wife would be an understatement. She was wearing her favorite pair of jeans, ones that were faded so badly that they resembled acid washed jeans from the 80s. She had on her favorite NYPD sweat shirt, one that was at least three sizes too big, that she only wore when she was going for comfort. And to top it off she had on her Yankees ball cap with the NYPD logo on the side with her Ray-Bans perched on top.

Kate caught sight of the bags in the foyer and somehow her NYPD duffle felt so out of place. There she was standing in a multi-millionaire's loft staring at his actress first wife. Not for the first time she wondered what she'd gotten herself into. But then she looked down at the little girl who was yawning and she thought how Rick just wanted a family. All of the other things were just that, things. What really meant the most to him were his daughters, his mother, and _her._ Kate Beckett meant as much as the other women in his life and that brought about a profound calm. She snapped out of her thoughts at the sound of Alexis' voice.

"Mom, what are you doing here?" Alexis asked in surprise. Her tone made it obvious to Kate that this wasn't an ordinary occurrence. "And how did you get in?"

She glared at Kate and began to speak. "I had Eduardo let me in." She then returned her gaze to Alexis. "Silly."

Alexis sighed. "You _know_ you can't just come in whenever you like. Now Dad's going to be pissed at Eduardo for letting you in."

Returning her gaze to a thoroughly embarrassed Beckett, Meredith replied, "You just let me handle your father." She quirked an eyebrow pointedly at Kate. "I have been for years," she smirked.

The underlying point she was trying to make was that Rick was still hers. Kate didn't miss that nor was she willing to let it go. "Well, you haven't been around for years, now have you?" As she did she pushed Alex farther into the room, and for the first time Meredith noticed the young girl.

"And who do we have here?" she inquired quizzically.

Kate looked over to Alexis for guidance and all she got was a shrug. Receiving no help from the older Castle daughter she decided to answer vaguely. "Oh, pardon me, where are my manners? This is Alex." She leaned down and whispered something in Russian that caused Alex to look up at Meredith and smile.

"Lexi mommy," the littlest Castle said, receiving a yes from both Alexis and Kate.

"Well Kate - it is Kate isn't it?" She knew that Meredith knew her name and was trying to regain control of the situation. It was not unlike some of the tricks that Kate herself used in interrogation.

"Yes, it is," Kate replied.

"She certainly is a beautiful little creature. She looks just like you."

Kate smiled at Meredith and winked at Alexis. Then she reached down and removed her from the mobile command center then headed for the office. "I'm going to get her changed and put her down for a nap." Never stopping, she passed through the door to the office and closed the door to the bedroom firmly enough to let everyone in the building know that she'd entered Rick's bedroom.

"She's quite at home here isn't she?" Meredith fumed as she spoke.

"What are you doing here Mom?" Alexis asked matter-of-factly, letting her mother know that she wasn't buying her attitude. "And why do you have six bags? That's enough to carry every piece of clothing you own." Almost as if a lock had clicked, or a switch had turned on, Alexis knew. "You're here to stay!" Meredith turned and headed for the kitchen grabbing a wine glass as she went. "MOM! Deny it. You think you're moving back in with us!"

After she poured her wine she turned around to face her daughter, the one that she left all those years ago. "Would that be so bad? There's plenty of room here. My darling, you've become a young woman. One who needs her mother."

Exasperated, Alexis replied, "Mom, you can't just assume that you can move in here. You and Dad aren't even married. You haven't been for fifteen or so years. We don't even have room for you!"

Meredith was shocked at the reception she received from her daughter but before she could fire back a reply she heard a voice come from the office. "Alexis, why don't you go and start on the information that Lanie's going to need. I'll entertain your mother until your dad gets here."

Watching Kate enter the room she could tell that the woman with whom she had spent the day was nowhere to be found. Detective Beckett had taken her place, and from the scowl on her face, she was itching for a fight. _She must have heard what her mother said._

"Sure thing Kate." She reached out and grabbed her hand as they passed one another.

Beckett made her way to the wine chiller and pulled out an unopened bottle of Châteauneuf-du-Pape red and set about opening the bottle.

"Detective, I wouldn't open that one if I was you. Rick's very protective of those. The last time I was here he was furious with Martha for opening one," she said with a smirk.

With her back to Meredith she turned her head to look over her shoulder at the redhead. " _SO_ much has changed since the last time you were here. I don't think he will mind as long as it's me who does the opening," returning the smirk that had been directed to her, but upping it to DEFCON 4. She poured a glass and motioned for Meredith to join her on the couch.

"You're quite at home here." The venom virtually dripped off each of Meredith's words.

"Yes, yes I am. In fact I may be more at home here than any place on the planet."

Desiring to change the subject quickly Meredith decided to lighten the mood. "Well, Alex is a beautiful little girl. You must be _so_ proud." Wanting one more dig unaware of the can of worms she was opening, Meredith asked, "So who's the father?"

Quickly Kate replied, "Rick."

As the color drained out of Meredith's face, Beckett couldn't help but think that she had seen gunshot victims who weren't as ashen as Castle's first wife. Meredith began to fidget and took a rather large gulp of her wine losing all pretense of decorum that she had tried to present earlier. _"What the hell?"_ Her voice lost the upscale air of sophistication that she had tried foster, letting Kate glimpse a view of the real Meredith. A view that she had apparently spent years trying to hide.

Smiling while taking a sip of her wine, Kate then took the glass in both hands and demurely asked, "Whatever do you mean?"

Meredith was becoming more infuriated by the moment. "You know exactly what I mean. Rick has a daughter who's what, two years old by the look of her, and you ask _me_ what I mean. The last I knew you were marrying a doctor. Now I find out that you and Rick have a daughter and you seem to be living here. And you're doing this all the while being engaged to another man." She was up from her seat pacing, unable to contain her fury.

Using her best astonished voice, the one that she used when one of Castle's theories panned out, she replied, "You thought Rick and I… Oh my, this is too funny!" Kate giggled and took another sip of wine. "You thought that Alex was mine. No, she's Rick's."

Meredith's head snapped toward Beckett, and Kate wasn't sure that it would stay attached to her shoulders. "What do you mean she isn't yours? If she isn't yours then who the _hell_ does she belong to?"

Rising and heading to the kitchen to freshen her glass, Kate pondered the question for a moment looking for the right phrasing that would ensure a full-blown eruption from Meredith. "We aren't sure who the mother is." She paused to enjoy the scene. _S_ _o this must be what Castle feels like when he_ _'_ _s pushing my buttons_ _._ "At this point I'm not even sure Rick knows the name of the mother." She began pouring her wine letting that last statement sink in.

"What do you mean? Don't tell me Rick got a girl pregnant and hid from his responsibilities? It's a good thing I'm moving back in here; he's going to need all the help he can get."

In an instant Kate went from jovial to fuming, "Like all the help you gave him with Alexis? Tell me how that works. Do you plan to start out sleeping with other men, or do you think you can wait a few months?"

"I _never_ …" Meredith sputtered.

"Drop the act, Rick told me everything. And before you get any ideas there are a few things you need to know. He adopted Alexandria from an orphanage in Russia. You are _not_ staying in this apartment. And he isn't available, _he's taken."_ She ticked off each point as she went, taking great pleasure at the crestfallen look on Meredith's face as she did.

"I think I'll check on Alexis." With that the redhead headed for the stairs.

Xx

Three raps on the door caused Alexis to put down her laptop. She rose to answer the door. She knew it was Kate because her mom never knocked. As best as she could recall her mom had never entered her room. She opened the door and saw her mother. "What do you want Mom?"

Meredith had never been accused of being overly observant but even she couldn't miss the surprise and the hint of disappointment in her daughter's eyes. "May I come in?"

Ever the polite host Alexis answered, "Of course."

As her mother entered her room she couldn't help but feeling a little self-conscious as she began to inspect her sanctuary. Ever since Alexis was ten she had only let her mother see the side of her that she wanted her to. At this moment she had a view of her private thoughts, the music she liked, books she read, and movies she watched.

As Meredith moved around her room she stopped to inspect the books that her daughter read. Sure the usual suspects were there, the Harry Potters and such like but she was surprised to see books by F. Scott Fitzgerald and Ernest Hemingway. She should've known that the daughter of an author would love to read. She brushed her fingers across the books and turned to her daughter. _"S_ _o_ _,_ you have a sister," she said pointedly.

Alexis schooled her nervous emotions and replied, "Yes, I do. Isn't it great?"

Meredith took a seat on her daughter's bed. "I wouldn't say great. What _was_ your father thinking?"

Anger flashed through her veins. Anger was an emotion that she could deal with, nervousness not so much. "He was thinking that it was high time that he expanded his family, and when he proposes to Kate we'll expand it again." She was on a roll now. "And if I have anything to say about it, they'll have a few kids. I always wanted to be a big sister."

"Alexis do you realize what you're saying? What you've already given up, what you else you'll give up?" Seeing the confusion on her daughter's face, Meredith explained. "You were the sole heir to your father's fortune. Now you have to split in two ways, and if he marries _THAT WOMAN,_ who knows what we'll end up with."

Yeah, anger was an emotion she could deal with. _"What the hell do you mean_ _ **WE**_ _?_ You haven't been a significant part of my life since I was a toddler, and now when I'm turning eighteen you show up. Don't think I don't know what you're doing because I do. I know that your deal with Dad ends when I become an adult. So you're here to be the mom that you never were, is that it? Well, I don't need you, I never have. I have Dad and now I have Kate."

Xx

Kate stared into her wine glass as she swirled the burgundy liquid in a slow counterclockwise rotation. She couldn't help but remember the first time she had this particular wine and it brought a smile to her face. At her door that night a slightly nervous Castle offered her a wonderful bottle of wine and his protection. He knew very well that she didn't need his protection, that she was more than able to take care of herself but she found it sweet then and all the more adorable now.

She took another sip of her wine and heard his infectious laugh as he got off the elevator which brought a smile to her face. Then she heard Martha's laugh and immediately knew that she must have instigated the laugh. _For someone who complains about his mother as much as he does, they both know it's all for show. He loves her as much as she loves her dad._

She heard the key in the lock and the mechanism began to turn at the same time she heard Alexis raise her voice at her mother. Kate waited for the inevitable, the moment that he realized that Meredith was there. The door opened and in came the man she loved with an enormous smile on his face. It instantly left his face as he stopped in his tracks when he saw the luggage. "Meredith."

Kate was up in a heartbeat, crossing the room to meet him, pulling him into a hug. She felt the tension that had engulfed him. And when he wrapped his arms around her she felt it leave as quickly as it had come. She pulled back searching his eyes, finding the conflict and turmoil that resided within him over his ex-wife. "Alex is in _our_ room; go and check on her, maybe make yourself a drink. I'll tend to Meredith when she and Alexis are finished." She nodded slightly toward the stairs indicating that they were upstairs.

He knew that this day was coming. He knew that she would show up looking to rekindle what they once had. He knew that she really didn't want to rekindle their relationship. What she actually was after was access to his fortune in an attempt to maintain her lavish lifestyle. A lifestyle that, if he was honest, he had maintained for her so Alexis wouldn't see any difference when she visited. He'd always wanted Alexis to think that her mother was a success, but as his daughter grew older she began to see her mother for what she truly was. Castle sighed and bowed his head. "Kate, you shouldn't have to deal with her. I'll…"

"No sir, mister man, I've got this. Now go." She brushed a chaste kiss on his lips. She turned and led him by the hand toward his office, dropping it and allowing him to continue.

The office door closed at nearly the same time as Alexis' door opened with Meredith quickly heading to the stairs. She stopped at the top to smooth out her shirt which didn't go unnoticed by the two women in the kitchen. Martha retreated to the breakfast stools with a glass of the wine that Kate had opened, forgoing the lesser quality one Meredith had opened.

Meredith made her way down the stairs regaining her composure with every step. When she reached the bottom she retrieved her glass and turned to the older redhead. "Martha how good it is to see you." Insincerity dripped from each word.

"Likewise dear." Her words were just as insincere. "What brings you to New York? And with enough baggage to fill a truck."

"Since most of the roles in Tinseltown are void of any substance these days being filled by actresses with no talent, I thought I would return to my first love. It shouldn't be too hard land a leading role on Broadway. Most of the actresses are aging divas anyway."

"I hate to tell you dear, but the theater doesn't use the casting couch so you might have a difficult time landing a role."

Kate was finding the dichotomy taking place in the room startling as the two actors exchanged passive barbs. But that one from Meredith seemed to hit too deep.

"Martha, why don't you give me a moment to show Meredith out and I'll join you in the den," never turning her glare from Meredith as she spoke.

"Splendid my dear. I want to tell you all about what's going on with the school and the

one-woman play I'm producing." Martha was trying to regain a little composure herself.

"Meredith, while you were upstairs I made arraignments for you at the Plaza. I've called Rick's car service; they should be downstairs by now. Tomorrow Rick will be available to see you but not tonight." There was a knock at the door. "That should be Eduardo for your bags."

Staring a hole through Beckett, unable to believe the reception that she received, Meredith finally spoke. "Why you? What makes you so special? You're so… _common._ There's nothing

memorable about you. What does he see in you?"

Smiling the same smile that she had seen Castle use with groupies and such like people, Kate replied, "You'll have to ask him. But if I had to guess, he finally has someone who loves him for him. Not Richard Castle but Richard Rodgers. You see, if he didn't have all of this," she waved her arms around encompassing the loft, "if he was Richard Rodgers the English teacher, I would love him just as much. And we would have probably have gotten together years ago. I fought against being with him because I didn't want to be seen as another one of the women who only wanted him for his money. I just want the man. It's taken me years to come to terms with his wealth."

Xx

Hours later after Alex was in bed and sound asleep, Kate was seated on the end of the couch in his office with her legs pulled up under her. Rick had taken his place by her side on the other end of the couch. She couldn't help but notice that it was so close to the same scene that happened in LA last spring. The difference was that there wouldn't be separate rooms tonight. They would finish their wine and when the time came they would to bed - together.

"Why me?" There, she'd asked it. Ever since Meredith had asked the question it had preyed on her mind. She had gotten lost in her head during dinner unable to carry on a conversation with the rest at the table.

She had been on the couch as Castle started on a new chapter of his latest novel, marveling at how he worked, all the while wanting to ask the question. And now she had and awaiting his answer seemed like a lifetime when in reality it had only been mere seconds.

Rick set his goblet of wine on the table in front of him, reaching for her hand. She in turn reached for his, moving closer to him as she did. He looked deep into her eyes and saw the trepidation that was hiding there. "Your intellect."

"My intellect? I don't know what I expected you to say, but that certainly wasn't it."

He looked down at their joined hands and spoke, never looking up. "Yeah, your intellect. When you brought me in all those years ago I was mesmerized by your intellect. I know I made a crack about your eyes; you do have gorgeous eyes. But if that's all there was to you, I wouldn't have started following you around."

"Really?" She seemed to be questioning herself as much as she was him.

"It's true. Don't think for a minute that you aren't the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on. People've always thought I was enamored with women's chests because I signed them, but they'd be wrong. I love eyes, always have and yours are like none I have ever seen."

"I like to think I'm a pretty smart guy but you challenge me. You make me better, make me want

to be better. You make me want to better man, a better father…"

"No, no I don't. You've always been a great father. That was your only redeeming quality when we first met, that and your beautiful blue eyes. But you quickly earned your place by my side even if I didn't realize it at the time." Her emotions were getting the better of her; the events of today and tonight were taking their toll.

"Rick, take me to bed."

 **Thoughts?  
**

 **I struggled with Kate in this chapter, but I think that she is very protective of her family, and I think she has accepted this family.**


	20. Chapter 20

**Here is the latest chapter. I want to thank you for reading.**

LBA Chapter 20

Tony's was what you thought of when thinking of the quintessential Italian trattoria straight out of _T_ _he Godfather_ movies. It had tables draped with red and white checkerboard cloths, small wooden chairs. Bottles of vino waited unopened on the table, enticing the lunch crowd to have just one glass before returning to daily grind of the city.

There sat the beautiful medical examiner sipping a Diet Coke awaiting her lunch companion. She browsed the menu lazily, every so often looking up to the door, or out the window to see if she could catch a glimpse of her lunch date before she arrived. When she caught sight of her friend through red letters on the window spelling out the name of the little trattoria, it brought a smile to her face. Never had she seen her friend looking as relaxed as she strolled toward the door, stopping to knock on the window when she spotted her friend waiting so patiently for her.

When the door opened Lanie noticed for the first time that Beckett wasn't alone. She was laughing with a younger blond woman. As they approached Lanie called out, "Don't think you will get out of this interrogation by bringing your new partner."

"I'd never dream of it." She smiled and motioned for Detective Hastings to take a seat which left Beckett sitting straight across from the feisty doctor. "Ann Hastings, I'd like to introduce my best friend, Dr. Lanie Parish. Lanie this is my new assistant partner, Ann Hastings. Ann, Lanie is Pearlmutter's equal in the coroner's office."

A laughing Hastings said, "I'm so sorry to hear that." Turning to Beckett she asked mirthfully, "What's an assistant partner anyway?"

"Oh girl, I can answer that. The only partner she has is Castle, so you must be his assistant." Lanie smirked as she spoke.

After placing their orders Lanie asked about the case that they had this morning. After learning that it was more than likely a suicide - the body had been found ashore near the Williamsburg Bridge - and every indication was that he had jumped off the bridge.

"There's no little Castle around today, Kate. So how was the workout?" Lanie questioned,

smiling at the shocked look on Beckett's face. Obviously she hadn't expected this line of questioning with Hastings around.

Sensing her friend's reluctance to talk about that with the young woman at the table and not wanting to go another day without the juicy details, Lanie took it upon herself to alleviate Kate's fears. "Ann, I've waited years to have this conversation with Beckett so you have two choices. You can either have lunch with us and swear a solemn vow to keep this secret or you can move to another table. But beware - if you have lunch with us and word gets out, I'll have you on a slab in my morgue! Capisce?"

"Capisce!" a delighted Hastings replied. She turned to Kate. "Beckett, you can trust me. Not a peep about your private life will get out. I promise, and if I hear any gossip they'll have to deal with me."

After hearing that level of solidarity from her new partner, all Kate could do was nod letting Hastings know that her discretion was appreciated, all the while trying to gather her emotions for the interrogation that she knew was coming. After their lunch was delivered Kate looked at Lanie. "Alright, ask away."

"So the workout…" Lanie wasted no time in asking what was on her mind.

"Was phenomenal. It was slow, fast, soft, hard, torrid, romantic, and gymnastic all in one. It was most definitely the best night of my life. Only to be upstaged by last night. That night was the best, last night trumped it by a factor of ten."

"Really?" both women who had heard Beckett's declaration said at once.

Lanie and Beckett looked at Hastings surprised that the young woman has caught on as quickly as she did. "What? I might be young, but I'm not stupid."

That evoked a laugh from the older women. "Honey, you're gonna fit in just fine around here," Lanie crowed.

"Tell me about last night," Lanie asked returning her attention to the detective.

"When we left you we made our way back to the loft. After stopping at my apartment, I needed a few things for the night. When we got there Meredith was there…"

"That son of a bitch! How could he?" The anger seeped out of every word Lanie spoke.

"See, that right there is why it's taken me so long, Lanie. We've known him for close to four years and we still don't want to give him the benefit of the doubt. How could I have ever trusted him in the past when we all think that he would do something like that? Well, he didn't. Eduardo let her into the loft," Beckett chided her friend.

"The doorman?" Lanie questioned. All the while Hastings had the good sense to stay out of the discussion. Sure she had been treated as one of the girls so far, but she was definitely keeping out of this part of their conversation.

"Yeah, she conned her way into the loft dressed like she had just stepped out of a magazine and well, you remember how I was dressed. Anyway she didn't know about Alex, and let's just say that Alexis's response to Meredith's reservations about her sister was an eye opener. Castle came home and he let me deal with Meredith's departure. I booked her a room at the Plaza and sent her on her way, telling her she could see Rick today and not a moment earlier."

You didn't!" Lanie exclaimed.

"I did!" was her reply.

"Good for you." But the words were not from the doctor but the newly minted detective.

"So how was the rest of the night? Did you two get your workout on?" Lanie asked.

"Yes, we did and then we talked about some difficult things.

Xx

" _Rick can I ask you a question?" a thoroughly tired and sated Kate asked as she rested her head on the point where his arm and shoulder met. She was drawing circles on his bare chest._

" _Sure, ask away."_

" _If I had said…_ _W_ _hat I mean is_ _,_ _if Josh and I…" a flustered Kate began only to be cut off by_ _Rick_ _._

" _What would I have done if you had said yes? Is that_ _your_ _question?"_ _h_ _e asked all the while st_ _r_ _oking the dip formed where her side met her hip. This was quietly becoming her most favorite place for his hands, outside of lovemaking_ _,_ _of course._

 _Unable to speak for fear of her emotions getting the better of her, all she could do was nod. All these years later it still shocked her that he could seem to read her mind._

" _I would have been happy for you. I would have gone to your wedding and thrown rice_ _with as much abandon_ _as everyone else there."_

" _Really?" As she spoke her voice sounded as if it had cracked into a million pieces._

" _Really. I talked with Alexis about this the morning after the party. Just because I love you doesn't mean that you love_ _me, and if I want to be a part of your life I would have_ _had_ _to except that." He shifted slightly so he could look into her eyes_ _. "_ _Kate, I_ _'_ _ve made many mistakes in my life, but I have never tried to come between two people no matter how badly I wanted to. If I wanted you to stay in our lives I was going to have to keep my feeling_ _s_ _to myself."_

 _He took a deep breath and continued. "I know how lucky I got with Alexis and I couldn't expect that to happen again. I had_ _M_ _other, as unconventional as she is, to help me but I couldn't expect that to happen again. I hoped that you would be willing to influence Alex just as much as you did Alexis."_

" _But Rick_ _,_ _I didn't have anything to do raising her_ _,_ _"_ _a_ _flummoxed_ _Kate_ _replied._

" _You had more to do with raising her tha_ _n_ _you realize. You were always there with an honest response when I asked question. When she wanted a woman's point of view she called you. You_ _'_ _ve even had dinner with her to discuss the merits of studies abroad and gave her sound advice even if it killed me at the time. So_ _, yes,_ _you have been a big part of her life, and I would like for you to be a bigger part of both my daughters' lives going forward."_

" _I would like that, Rick. I would like that so much."_

" _Since we have taken care of the big question that you wanted to ask, I have one for you. I know that we were going slowly but that_ _'_ _s kind of moot now. So why don't we jump into the deep end_ _?_ _"_ _Rick asked_ _._

" _Okay… what did you have in mind?" Kate asked trying to_ _keep her voice as even_ _as she could._

" _Move in. Move in with us, join our family_ _,_ _"_ _h_ _e blurted out._

" _Rick…"_

" _I'm not asking you to marry me..._ _y_ _et. I'm just asking you to come home to us every night. I need it, Alexis and Alex need it, and if you're honest with yourself_ _,_ _you need it."_

" _Yes!"_ _s_ _he answered._

" _Yes?"_ _h_ _e_ _asked uncertainly_ _._

" _Yes!"_ _came her answer m_ _ore emphatically this time. "Yes_ _,_ _I will move in, and yes_ _,_ _I will join your family."_

Xx

"You're moving in?" Lanie squeaked.

"I'm moving in!" a grinning Beckett replied.

Lanie had never seen her friend this happy, but she was worried that she was jumping in way too fast. "Are you sure?"

The smile that had graced Kate's face disappeared at her friend's question. "Why would you ask me that? You're the one who has been after me for years to get my freak on with Castle, and now that we're together you have to nerve to ask me that question? How dare you!" She wadded up her napkin and began to stand.

Lanie grabbed Kate's arm. "Kate, wait, please. Let me explain."

Casting Lanie her most scathing glare, Beckett returned to her seat. "I think you had better explain why you would say that to me."

Taking a deep breath, Lanie knew she would only get one shot to explain herself. "It wasn't too long ago that you were with someone else, and as much as I love Castle, I don't want you to jump into this thing with him only to see it implode. I think you two will be great together, but don't you think you two should maybe date a little?"

Taking a sip of her water, Kate looked over at Hastings. "I'm sorry that you got caught up in this today." She returned her focus to her best friend. "I know you mean well but you're wrong Lanie. We've been dating for close to four years, albeit without the extracurricular activities. He's taken me to lunch more times than I can count. We've spent time together away from the precinct more than you will ever know. He's come over for dinner, and he and Alexis have had me over for dinner."

Lanie began to interrupt but was cut off by Kate raising her hand. "I may be guilty of not seeing what was happening before, but I see it now. I may be guilty of hiding in a relationship because I couldn't come to grips with what that man means to me, but not any longer. I'm moving in with Castle and nothing you, or anyone, could possibly say will come between us." The longer she spoke the more animated she became until she was sitting on the edge of her chair leaning over the table to speak to Lanie. When she finished she let out a huff and fell back into her chair.

Lanie's eyes were bright with unshed tears. "Oh, honey I am so happy for you. I'm so, so sorry that I ever doubted you two." She hurried around the table to pull her friend into a hug, squeezing her for all she was worth.

A slightly stunned Hastings decided to lighten the mood. "If all of your lunches are as emotional as this, I think I'll bring mine from now on," she remarked, smirking all the while she spoke.

Xx

Meredith was alternating between ringing the doorbell and attempting to beat the door down. As the door flew open she said, "Richard, it's about…"

Standing there with a smirk on her face, a tall brunette with dark power suit, matching heels, and a don't-mess-with-me New Jersey accent, she welcomed Meredith. "Hello leech."

"Paula, I see you still haven't outgrown your Jersey upbringing," Meredith taunted.

"And I see you still haven't found a career without occupying the casting couch," Paula retorted with a sinister smile on her face.

"As much as I would love to stay and trade insults with you I have to take a rain check. I'm here to see my husband so you can run along." She dismissed her with a wave of her hand.

"Sweetheart, he hasn't been your husband for years and I wouldn't want to be you if Kate Beckett was to hear you call him that. Now if you'll follow me, I'll take you to his office." With that the feisty publicist turned and led her to Castle's office.

As they cleared the door to the office Meredith vaulted toward Castle. "Richard, I came to see you last night but _that woman_ said I would have to come back today." Her disdain was evident with each syllable that she spoke. "And adopting a toddler, Richard, really? Don't you think you are a little too old to raise another child?"

Trying his best to quell his anger at his elder daughter's mother he took a deep breath. "Mere, I think you need to take a seat. We have some things to go over."

Meredith finally took in the scene and noticed that not only was Paula present but also Raymond, Rick's lawyer. There was also another man sitting in the corner who she didn't know, but could only assume was a lawyer.

"Mere, I think you know everyone here except Jim. Meredith Lee, this is Jim Beckett, Kate's father."

The look on her face told everyone in the room that she hadn't expected that. She turned to Castle. "Ricky, what's _her_ father doing here," she spewed.

"He's here to protect her interests. Now let's get down to business. I know why you're here, I've been expecting it for a few months." He turned to Jim who wasn't privy to the inner working of his divorce from Meredith. "Meredith's monthly spousal support payments end when Alexis turns eighteen, so she came to try to extend the agreement."

"Richard, that isn't the case. I came to see my daughter. She's at the age that she needs a mother." After receiving a huff from Paula she decided to play her trump card. "Besides you told me that when I got my priorities straight to call, so I decided to just come home."

There were three stunned adults in the room hearing the words that Meredith had spoken. Castle, unlike the others, had seen this coming for years and was prepared for the news, and he still had one trick up his sleeve.

There was a knock at the door and he was sure if Kate was there, she would say he timed it this way. "Paula, can you let our final guest in?"

Moments later a balding man in his mid-sixties entered the office. He wore the trappings of someone who had obviously had success in his particular line of work. A Rolex, bespoke suit, and expensive Italian loafers tried to hide the obvious toll that a long career had taken on his life.

"Meredith, you remember Rudy." Noticing the surprised look on her face he turned to the others in the room. "This is Rudy Tomlinson. He was, or rather is, Meredith's divorce attorney."

Castle continued with the introductions before offering a seat to Meredith and her attorney. "Mere, I took the liberty of asking your attorney to be here today. I wanted to make sure that you had ample representation and guidance on the topics we're discussing."

"Ricky, what's this all about?" she asked, trying to convey strength, all the while trying to hide the anger that threatened to boil over.

"I've known this day was coming for quite some time. If we're honest, much longer than you have." His desk chair let out a creak as he leaned back taking in the expression on his first wife's face. "Let me start with this. Although I told you to call me when you got your priorities in order, that was never meant to be interpreted that we would ever try to reconcile."

"Richard, you can't mean…" the first Mrs. Castle began only to be cut off.

"Yes, I do. Now let's get down to business, how much?"

"I don't know what you're talking about?"

"How much is it going to cost me for you to go away?" he inquired flatly. "Listen Mere, you know your settlement ends in four days. It isn't a coincidence that you showed up here this week when you haven't come to New York to see your daughter in two years. So again I ask, how much is this going to cost me?"

They stared at each other as if they were waiting to see which one would crack. And someone cracked. She let out an audible sigh as her shoulders slumped into the chair. "Rick, I've had a difficult time landing roles lately."

Unable to control herself any longer, Paula mumbled something just loud enough for everyone to hear. "Like forever."

"Paula, that's enough," Castle scolded with a glare that would make Beckett proud.

"The house in Bel Air is in a trust for Alexis that cannot be touched before she graduates college, so you'll have a place to live until then. Everything will be status quo in regards to the upkeep of the property. I didn't fight you on the home back then because I wanted to make sure that Alexis had a decent place to stay when she visited you."

Meredith just nodded in agreement.

"Now the spousal support ends this month and I'm not inclined to continue the agreement…"

Meredith stood up. "Rick, you can't just end it without letting me know!"

"I think if you ask Rudy you will find that you had close to seventeen years notice!" bellowed an obviously exasperated Castle.

Meredith glanced at a nodding Rudy before returning her gaze to her ex-husband and taking her seat.

"Before you interrupted me... I was not inclined to continue our agreement _AS IS._ As a result, I find myself in a dilemma. On one hand I feel I've been more than fair. On the other hand I don't want Alexis to find herself worried about you. So I am willing to continue for one year at the current rate with it dropping in half the following year and ending all together after the second year. That's a total of one hundred eighty thousand dollars. After that Mere, you're on your own."

A contrite Meredith could only say thank you.

"Now there's one other thing I want to discuss. "Kate and I are in a relationship, one which will sooner rather than later lead to marriage. In the past I was willing to lead my life on page six but this is no longer the case. I was able to keep Alexis out of the media by willingly giving interviews at a moment's notice. Now Kate is a very private person; that along with her job and the addition of Alexandria to the mix, has led me to this decision. I intend to take a step back from my public life. If anyone was to leak to the media that Kate and I were dating, or the existence of Alexandria, before we're ready... Let's just say I would be very upset. And Meredith, if I trace it back to you, our agreement is null and void. I will throw you out of that house faster that you can blink. Paula's here to make sure she understands what is going on. She's going to keep an eye open for any signs of the press knowing what is going on."

"Okay." It was almost a whisper but everyone heard it.

"Mere, I'm sorry if this felt like an ambush but after last night, Kate and I felt that we needed to head this off before it went too far. Alexis is my first born and I will always be grateful for you giving her to me. But I love Alex just as much as Alexis, and I will _not_ have anyone trying to play them against one another. I'm going to let last night slide because you didn't know of Alex's presence in our lives. Don't let it happen again."

He took a deep breath knowing that the next words he spoke would upset his ex-wife, but he knew that they needed to be said. "These past four years that I've known Kate have been the best of my life. She's the most extraordinary person I have ever met. She's inspired me to become a better man, but more than that she has helped to mold Alexis. She's always been available to meet and discuss topics that Alexis didn't feel like she could, or didn't want to talk to me about. She has been more of a mother to our daughter than you have, that's why Alexis was so upset with you last night. You will always be welcome in our home. I've never kept you from Alexis and I never will, but don't think what happened last night can _ever_ happen again."

He rose, indicating that this meeting was over. "Rudy, Jim and Raymond have everything we discussed today in writing. Please bill your time to them, I'll cover the cost." He turned back to Meredith. "We're having our Halloween party Friday night. Kate and Alexis decided to make it their birthday party as well. So if you're able, by all means come."

Xx

Everyone had left the loft and Castle pulled out the lunch meat to make himself and Jim sandwiches.

"Son, I'm a little conflicted about what happened today. I understand the stance you took, but you seemed to be a little harsh in your dealing with Meredith," Jim said as he filled their glasses.

"I hate to say it, but that's all she understands. If I try and reason with her she turns every word I say around. It's not that she's vindictive, she just hears what she wants to hear," Castle responded with a tired smile. "That woman's exhausting, always has been. But I wasn't kidding; she gave me Alexis and I can never hate her, if for that fact alone."

"Well, I'm just happy that this is all over." Jim's train of thought jumped to another topic. "Oh, before I forget to tell you and in case you didn't already know, you have my permission when you ask."

Rick let out a roaring laugh that nearly shook the windows. "If your daughter heard you say that she would shoot you. And if she ever thought I asked you for her hand she would shoot _me_ _!_ But I'm glad to know that you approve."

"You're probably right. I asked Johanna's father for her hand and she found out about it right after Katie was born. She said if it wasn't for Katie she would leave my tired old ass. I've never seen her so upset."

"Like mother like daughter," Castle said with a laugh.

 **Thoughts?**

 **I know that Beckett's Birthday is November 17, the thoughts are that they combine the parties.**


	21. Chapter 21

**Here is another chapter. Hope you like it.**

A knock at the door brought Kate out of her bedroom to peer through the peephole. Her inspection revealed a smiling medical examiner. After unlocking the door she nearly ripped it off the hinges to welcome her startled friend.

"I thought you would never get here!" exclaimed a visibly excited Kate.

"You said five thirty!" Glancing down at her watch, Lanie grinned and held up her wrist to show her friend the watch face. "Five twenty five. Seems like someone's in quite a hurry."

"Oh, shut up!" Beckett said as she pulled Lanie into her apartment giggling as she did. "I think I'm going to need your help getting this thing on. There's a bottle of Rick's favorite wine back here so grab a glass."

Lanie did just that and laid her costume on the bed before pouring herself a glass and topping off Kate's. She turned to see her friend buried in the closet rummaging around for something.

"I know it's in here somewhere." The sound of a few more boxes being moved let Lanie know that she hadn't found it yet.

"Ah, there it is!" An extremely giddy Beckett returned from the closet with large shoe box in hand. "The costume won't work without these."

Beckett opened the box revealing leather, thigh-high, stiletto boots sporting a four inch heel. Lanie let out a squeal as Beckett held up the boots. "Those just might make writer-boy blow his top tonight."

A big toothy smile crossed Kate's face as she said, "That's the plan."

"So where's the rest of this costume?"

Without letting her friend finish, Kate dove into the closet and pulled out a garment bag, laying it across the bed. She reached into the bag and pulled out the costume as well as another bag that was nested within the hanging bag.

"Holy crap! You're gonna wear _that?_ As if those boots weren't bad enough! How long have you had that?"

With a voice that was rife with nervousness, Beckett shyly replied, "A little over a year."

Lanie reached out to feel the quality of the leather while imagining Castle's face when he saw Kate wearing it. "Why didn't you wear this last year?"

"I intended to wear it to Castle's party but Josh threw a fit about going to party that Castle was hosting. After a night or two of arguing, I gave in and we attended the party at the hospital."

Lanie had always felt that Kate wasn't as invested in her relationship with the good doctor as she made out to be. She was curious as to how she would answer the next question. "So why didn't you wear this to Josh's party?"

Beckett pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and turned away as her face turned to what Lanie thought was a beautiful color on her. Scarlet.

"I might have bought this to wear for Castle," Kate wistfully replied. "I know it was wrong; I was with Josh, but I wanted him to see me in this getup. Maybe fuel a few of his fantasies."

Now Lanie was more curious than ever and hoped her next words wouldn't upset her friend. "You know you sound like a jilted lover."

Sighing deeply, Kate smiled slightly. "I know I do, and that's the hard part. We weren't together. Hell, we had never been together, but that's how I felt. I wanted him to see what he left behind that summer he spent with Gina."

"That doesn't sound like the Kate Beckett I know at all. You started dating Josh that summer. Why should you care about Castle?" Lanie knew her words were getting to her friend, but she had wondered about that relationship for months.

"You're right. I found Josh that summer. But if I'm honest with myself I think I fell in love with Rick when he was away. I didn't realize how much I needed him until he returned. And I didn't realize how deeply I was hurt by him until he came back. I think that's why I threw myself into the relationship with Josh and tried to make it work."

Deciding that this talk had reached its conclusion, Lanie declared, "Well, you're with the right man now, aren't you? Let's get this wig on and I'll help you with your costume.

After they finished with their costumes and drank the wine Lanie had poured, they began to gather up their bags when they were startled by a knock at the door."Lanie, would you mind getting that?"

The door opened to reveal a tall, lanky, pleasant-looking gentleman wearing a chauffeur's uniform. If Lanie was surprised by the sight she didn't let on. "May I help you?"

When the man spoke, what came out of his mouth was a surprise. He had a smooth, rich baritone that would put Barry White to shame. "I'm Jimmy Sexton of P2P Livery, and I'm here to collect Detective Beckett and Dr. Parish."

Lanie turned around to see a thoroughly shocked Beckett with her mouth hanging open. When Beckett regained her composure she stepped into the conversation. "Excuse me, what did you say?"

Smiling at the flummoxed women Jimmy attempted to relieve their anxiety. "Mr. Castle asked me to pick you two up. He said and I quote, "I don't want the two most beautiful women in the city to travel by cab tonight. When the cab driver gets one look them he'll be too distracted to drive, and I don't want to visit the hospital tonight." So you're doing him a favor by letting me drive you tonight."

Lanie chuckled and grabbed her friend's hand all the while leveling a _D_ _on't you dare say a thing_ glare at her. "We wouldn't want to cause Mr. Castle any unwanted trips to the hospital, now would we?"

"Detective Beckett, Mr. Castle said that you would have a couple of bags as well. If you would allow me the pleasure…"

With a sigh Beckett motioned to the two large suitcases. "This will take some getting used to."

"Just go with it, girl! Now let's move! I have a Latin heartthrob waiting for me, and with this on, he might blow his top, too."

Once in the car Beckett's natural curiosity took over. It was the same curiosity that made her a great detective. "So, what does P2P stand for?"

Smiling at the detective through the rearview mirror, he answered, "Pen to Paper."

"Jimmy, that sure is a strange name for a livery service," Kate commented.

"Not if you know how I met Ric… I mean Mr. Castle. Mr. Castle had an unbelievable Porsche back in the day, and well, I boosted it form the front of Le Cirque. He was preoccupied with his wife and I just walked up and took the keys. He thought I was the valet. I think they all realized what had happened when I squealed tires taking off. I made it about a two miles before I was caught."

Both occupants of the back seat were in shock at the story, but Kate being the great detective she was, wanted to know the rest of the story. "If you're a felon, how did you get a livery license, and do I even want to know the answer to that question?"

"That's a pretty funny story. I was sitting in holding waiting for my arraignment when this big guy with a fancy pants lawyer came to visit."

"Rick," Kate whispered.

"Yeah, Rick. He didn't yell at me, just asked what I wanted to do with my life. I didn't have an answer, but I wanted to do something with cars. I told him that and he just got up, shook my hand, and left. Then during my arraignment there was the fancy lawyer representing me; he said it was all a misunderstanding, that Mr. Castle had given me the keys on purpose. So the charges were dismissed.'

"About a week later Mr. Castle and the lawyer came to visit me at my mom's. They had a proposition for me. He had the titles to a brand new limousine as well as a town car. He thought that I would succeed at livery so he set me up with his financial guy, wrote into his next Derrick Storm contract that Black Pawn would use me exclusively, and recommended me to all of his friends. Now my business has grown to twenty limos and thirty town cars."

"I've attended events with him where we have taken a car and I don't recall you driving us."

Beaming as he caught her eye in the rearview mirror, he remarked, "I only drive the most important women in Mr. Castle's life. Alexis, Martha, …and now you."

"So to answer your question, Pen to Paper is an homage to the man who trusted in me and his writing, and well, it reminds me that I could be in the pen but I'm making paper. I know it's not the most elegant statement but I was nineteen back then, so I guess I get a pass. Not all of us can be famous writers," he said with a shrug.

"No, I guess not," Kate said as she dabbed at the tears that were threatening to break free from her eyes.

"That man of yours is one hell of a man," Lanie reflected as she blotted her eyes to hide her own tears.

"Yes, he is," Kate agreed, all the while thinking how inappropriate it would be to launch herself at him when she entered the loft.

When they reached the vestibule for the loft Kate stopped before knocking on the door. She stared at the number, lost in her own thoughts. The door was adorned with the number five. Five, the number of her new address. The number of the place she hoped to live for the rest of her life.

Five was also the number of people that would be living together. She hadn't lived with anyone for any length of time since before the academy. Sure, she had lived with Will those few weeks before he got the Boston offer, and Josh had wanted her to move in but she never felt it would go the distance. Now she wanted nothing more than for this to go the distance.

Sensing some reluctance in her friend's demeanor, Lanie questioned, "What are you thinking about, girl?"

Never taking her eyes off the number, Kate replied, "You know the first time I came here I hated Rick. It was the Cavanaugh case."

"I wouldn't say you hated him, maybe you just hadn't found his affections amusing," Lanie chastised.

"Oh, yeah, I hated him. You remember how he was those first few cases, all jokes and innuendos. Never taking anything seriously."

"Okay, but by that case you were starting to tolerate him."

Looking at an amused Lanie, she said, "Anyway, I came here to talk about the case and he answered the door with his laser tag vest on. Alexis was right behind him dressed just like him; they'd obviously been playing. Martha came up behind them wearing a green face mask."

Lanie cracked a smile at the image that Kate had put in her head. One of a happy family, one that in many respects she knew Kate had grown up with.

"He invited me into his home and I was shocked at how tastefully it was decorated. I expected to see a quintessential bachelor pad, but it was a home. I couldn't help but see the pictures of Alexis and Martha."

"And now you're going to live here."

"And now I'm going to live here," Kate agreed. "I couldn't be happier about that." With that she took the contacts out of the case to complete the costume.

"You really are going to knock his socks off, you know that," Lanie stated as she looked over her friend.

"That's the plan."

 **Thoughts?**

 **Some of you might recognize the shout-out to Pen to Paper in this chapter. He has been a great friend and has always motivated me when I couldn't find the desire to write.**

 **I originally intended for this chapter and the one that follows to be one, but it seemed to be going on forever. And if I am honest I only liked this half, I scraped the rest of it.**


	22. Chapter 22

**Believe it or not I am back. It took me many tries to get this chapter written. I don't want to go into how many times I wrote it only to delete it and try again.**

 **I want to take this time to comment on the passing of Carrie Fisher, she was the first movie star I had a crush on, I guess every boy who saw Star Wars in the theater did.**

 **My daughter sums her passing up well, I quote her Instagram account. "Princess Leia was a staple of my childhood and is more than likely where my love of strong female characters came from. Rest In Peace Carrie Fisher, and may the force be with you.**

 **My daughter is the one who turned me onto Ziva and eventually Beckett, her love for these types of female characters. Their strength reminds me of my wife and why I fell for her.**

 **Our show may be gone, but Beckett and Castle will live on in Fanfiction forever, if these amazing writers have anything to say about it.**

 **Now for the obligatory, I own nothing.**

Chapter 22

The party was in full swing, people laughing and drinking in merriment. Castle couldn't stop glancing at his watch then the door, wondering where Beckett was.

"Stop fretting, Richard. Everyone knows that a beauty like our Katherine needs to make an entrance," Martha said with a flourish as she traipsed by her son.

He started to respond when a knock came at the door. Castle caught Esposito's eye (Javi was

dressed in his customary soldier's uniform) and motioned for him to answer the door.

Esposito opened the door revealing Lanie dressed as Cat Woman. Not the Halle Berry version, but the version from the 1960s _BATMAN_ television show. Eartha Kitt would be proud of her outfit and based on Esposito's reaction, so was he.

Lanie sauntered into the room after stopping to whisper in Javier's ear. "Wait ten seconds, open the door, then bring me my kiss."

"Why don't I just give you one now?" he questioned, leaning into Lanie for the aforementioned kiss.

"Not now, lover boy; anticipation makes the kiss that much sweeter." With that she sauntered away, making sure there was an extra sway in her hips.

"Lanie, where's Kate? Don't tell me something came up," Castle pleaded.

She pointed to the door just as Esposito opened it, revealing Kate dressed up as Selene from _Underworld._ Her costume was an exact replica, right down to the matching Walther P99 pistols and colored contact lenses, stunning Castle into a near catatonic state.

He was broken out of his trance at the sound of Esposito's "Wow" coming from the doorway. Before he could speak, Kate strutted across the empty divide of the near cavernous room to place a chaste kiss atop his longing lips. "Hi, babe."

"Hi…" he croaked, then swallowed hard and cleared his throat. "Hi. I'm so glad you're here. And I knew that you would be the best Kate to wear that outfit." He was being honest with his praise. Although Kate Beckensale had been on his freebie list, back when he had such a list, he was sure that she could never compete with Kate Beckett. And in that he was correct.

"I'm glad I'm here, too." She leaned back and took in his costume and realized that they couldn't have conceived a couple's costume any better if they tried. She looked around the room seeing Martha and his daughters and decided that they couldn't have had a family costume come together any better if they deliberately attempted to. When he tried to find out what she was dressing as, she had shut him down. Every guess was met with a noncommittal "Mhmm" or a shake of the head.

When she wouldn't give in to his pestering, he declined to tell her what he was hosting the party as. She was sure that it was some type of Marvel character, he seemed to be enthralled by Iron Man of late. But she would never have thought it would be the Big Bad Wolf, nor that Alexis and Alexandria would both be dressed as Little Red Riding Hood. Martha as the grandmother from the story was the icing on the cake.

So her little family was gathering around her to look at her costume and she couldn't control the contented sigh that escaped from her lips. If she was honest with herself, this was what she had wished for once upon a time, before alley stabbings and unresolved conspiracies changed the course of her life.

Now she was standing in the loft of the man whom she loved, her arm around his older daughter, and watching his younger daughter flit across the room with her cape as if she was a super hero. She caught a glimpse of her father dressed as Bill Nye the Science Guy talking with someone who seemed to be dressed as a Deadpool knockoff.

"That's Hastings and her boyfriend. He's a graphic artist and created a character called Lone Vengeance," Castle whispered in her ear.

"Lone Vengeance?" Kate crinkled her brow, obviously unaware of the character.

"It's an online publication, underground following. We might be too old and not hip enough to read it."

Feeling playful, Kate replied, "Speak for yourself old man."

She picked up Alex and held her in her arms while the young girl stared at her. "KK, what happened to your hair?" the littlest Red Riding Hood timidly asked.

Realizing that the young girl was confused and a little scared, Kate reached up and removed the wig, shaking out her own hair, letting it fall to her shoulders as if she was in an old Breck shampoo commercial.

Castle, who had navigated to the end of the bar to answer a question that Ryan had, caught the scene with Kate and Alex. When Kate released her hair from her wig, Castle's hands grabbed the counter. "Good god woman!" he muttered under his breath.

He heard a chuckle from his right. "What are you laughing at, Ryan?"

"You."

"I can't help it. What she does to me is criminal."

Xx

As the party continued, Kate and Castle began to mingle with different people. Castle had settled into a discussion with Esposito and Ryan while Kate and Lanie discussed the trip she and the Castle clan were taking to the Hamptons the following day.

"We're leaving early in the morning, sometime around seven."

Never to take a statement at face value, Lanie pushed for a follow-up. "And why is that?"

Looking around to make sure that they wouldn't be overheard and when the coast was clear, she replied, "You know how much I wanted to go a couple of summers ago? Well we decided last night to take the weekend and get away. I'm off this weekend and we thought what the hell, let's make it our first family outing."

"Family?" Lanie teased.

"Family!" Beckett whispered.

"Excuse me, Detective Beckett." Kate turned at the sound of the voice to see Gina standing there dressed as the Good Witch of the North. "May we have a moment of your time?" Gina nodded toward the Wicked Witch of the West, who bore a striking resemblance to Paula.

"You go ahead, Kate. I want to catch up with Jenny and see how the wedding plans are coming along." With that, Lanie left Kate to fend for herself with Castle's publishing team.

"Sure thing Gina, how can I help you?" Kate asked, attempting to be a gracious hostess. But if truth be told, she was dying inside. Her stomach was turning flips as she made her way, along with Gina, over to the corner of the room where Paula was waiting.

"Detective Beckett," Paula began before being cut off.

"Kate, you can call me Kate," Beckett replied trying to alleviate the tension that she was sure she was emitting in waves.

"Okay Kate," Gina agreed. "We thought it would be good if we cleared the air and got to know each other a little. Especially since we're all going to be in Richard's orbit going forward."

"Sure, I guess we could do that." All the while she was thinking of ways to kill Castle for not being there with her. She was sure that he knew that his publishing team wanted to speak with her, which was the only explanation for his absence from her side.

Paula looked at her and said, "We wanted you to know that we took care of Meredith for you."

"Excuse me?" Beckett replied, obviously unaware of what they were talking about.

"I'm sure you know how our meeting with her went yesterday," Paula said and after an awkward moment, Kate nodded in affirmation. "Well, I called Gina and we decided to call in a favor owed to us. There's an upcoming episode of _NCIS_ where they need a cadaver and we couldn't think of anyone who would fill that part better than her."

Giggling, Kate asked, "A cadaver? Really?"

"Oh yes, but she won't have a speaking role. Hell she won't even have a role with movement. She'll be one of many who will be blown up by a bomb. The only screen time she'll have is as a body with blood and dirt on her face," Gina chortled. "If we're really lucky you will not even be able to tell which body is hers."

Kate let out a full-on laugh. She was laughing so hard that tears filled her eyes. "Oh, you guys, that's too funny."

After she caught her breath and dried her eyes, Paula spoke. "Kate, we want you to know that we'll try to keep her under control. But let's be honest, that's nearly impossible."

"I hate to say it, but Paula's right; she's quite something. When Richard and I were married, she thought she could come and go as she pleased. Although I was never as forceful as you were with her, I wanted to be," Gina said. "That being said, that's not why I asked you over here."

Gina looked to Paula, "I… no, we… we wanted to make sure that we could work together."

A confused Beckett asked, "Work together?"

"It's no secret that outside of the women who live in this loft, we are the most important women in his life. And we want to make sure that we can all work together for the best interest of his career. We have been changing his professional image for the past few years, taking steps to help him leave the playboy image behind."

"O-kaay," Kate responded, not quite knowing what to say.

"We just want you to know we have your back and we'll do our best to stay out of your hair. But we might need a little help from you," Paula smiled, "from time to time. You see, he has a bad habit of procrastinating where his writing is involved."

"Sometimes I think he does it just to get under my skin," Gina muttered.

"Anyway, we might need you help trying to keep him on task. That is, if you don't mind," Paula said hopefully.

Kate smiled at the thought of him sitting in his office, writing his latest novel. She could just imagine him crafting the latest exploits of Nikki and Rook while she sat on the chaise reading their previous exploits. That would be a change of pace - Castle doing paper work and _her_ staring.

"If you need help I'll do my best to keep him focused. After all, isn't that what a muse is for? And if you tell him I said that, I'll deny it to my dying day."

"Oh, I knew we were going to get along, Kate," Paula said with glee. "Can I get either of you a glass of wine?" she offered knowing that Gina had something that she wanted to say to Kate in private.

"Please," Gina answered.

"Kate?" Paula questioned.

"Sure," Kate said, regretting it when she was left alone with Gina.

"You know, Kate, I owe you an apology. When Rick asked me away for the summer, I jumped at the chance to see if we could rekindle what was there. But I walked into that precinct and saw your face, I knew that you were getting your heart broken. Later that summer, he told me about the events leading up to him asking me, and that day suddenly made sense."

"Gina, don't worry about it. I'm the one who waited too long, the one who couldn't see the man for the image, if you will."

"Well, that's a different way to turn that phrase." Gina reached out for her hand. "Kate, I _am_ sorry but beyond that, I'm happy for you. I know that you know what a good man he is, and I can see that he's happier than he had ever been. That's all I've ever wanted for him."

It didn't take any of her considerable observation skills nor any of the interrogation techniques that she had honed over her career. It was all there in Gina's eyes, the affection and concern that the publisher had for Castle.

"You still love him," Kate quietly said.

"I guess some part of me will always love him," Gina admitted even more quietly than Kate had.

Kate didn't know how to respond to that revelation. The ex-wife of the man she loved confessed that she still loved him.

Seeing the concern on Kate's face, Gina spoke up quickly. "Oh, Kate, don't worry about me. I let him go a long time ago. We truly only work on a professional level. And let's face it, I could walk into the room stark naked and his eyes would never leave yours." She took off her glove, exposing her left ring finger and the enormous diamond that adorned it. "I met a financial advisor a couple of weeks after Richard and I ended. He asked me last weekend. Now let's go before he thinks something's wrong."

Xx

Kate took a plate of cake from Raggedy Andy, also known as Ryan. She was surprised that Jenny and he had come as Raggedy Ann and Andy. But if she thought about it, they seemed to be the type of couple who would.

Alexis took up the space between Kate and Martha. "Happy birthday Kate."

"Right back at you, kid. I hope it's everything you hoped for," Kate responded. She put her arm around the young woman's shoulder while catching Castle's eye.

She could see the emotions playing across his face. It was a mix of love and awe with a slight bit of lust for her added, which made her stomach turn flips. Not the kind of nervous flips that it turned earlier when Gina approached her. No, not those at all. These were flips of excitement and lust of her own.

"I'm glad you're here, Kate," Alexis remarked.

"Me, too, Alexis. Me, too."

After the cake was eaten, even Alex had had a tiny piece, the guests began to migrate to the door. Beckett tried to be the good hostess and help Castle with the farewells but Alex was having none of it. It was well past her bed time so Kate decided to put her down for the night.

"KK, I love you," the sleepy little voice said.

'Baby, I love you, too. Now let's get you to sleep. We have a big day tomorrow."

Xx

Beckett was going through her nightly routine when Castle leaned against the door frame. "So how long have you had that costume, hmm?"

A noncommittal "mhmm" came from the woman who was currently removing her makeup.

"I know you heard me."

"If I told you I bought it last year to torture you with, would it make you happy?" Kate asked as she moved past him to riffle in her drawer for a sleep shirt.

He drew her into a hug. "Very happy." He leaned down and brushed a kiss on her forehead.

"Very, very happy."

"I guess you should sleep well tonight, because I planned on wearing it last year but we ended up going to another party." She reached up and kissed his lips as lightly as she could manage.

"It's a good thing you didn't come here last year then. If you had worn that, I'm sure I couldn't have contained myself. Then you would have had to slap the cuffs on me."

She looked up at him playfully. "Why do you always think me slapping cuffs on you would be a bad thing? There are times that it could be a very good thing," she teased. "I always thought we would be good at role play. Don't you?"

"Oh, yes." His voice cracked with excitement as she reached for her cuffs.

"You coming Castle?" after she placed a kiss on his lips.

His fingers went to his lips, trying to hold onto the kiss for as long as he could. "Yes. Yes, I am."

 **I know it was a little fluffy, but you should have seen the previous drafts. Ouch!**

 **Thoughts?**


	23. Chapter 23

**Here we go again, I know you can't believe that I have 2 in less than a week. It surprises me also. This chapter wasn't meant to be, I originally intended this chapter to start at the Hamptons, but inspiration hit and well here we are.**

 **To the guest reviewer who said I write strong women well, I thank you. To that same reviewer who said I write Castle like a little b# &%h I humbly suggest you read my other works. Gabriel, Secrets and Betrayals and a co-written story with Pen 2 Paper called Trouble on two wheels. Those stories tend to show a more capable Rick Castle. **

**Again I own nothing.**

 **Chapter 23**

Never in her life had she helped a little one prepare for an early morning. Sure, she'd babysat a few times as a teenager, and at times that required preparing her charge for bed. That hadn't been difficult so she had no inkling that this morning would be.

Castle had stood in the hallway trying his best not to laugh at the site of Kate trying to wrangle a two-year-old who didn't want to be awake. His smirk only intensified when she glowered at him. A chuff of annoyance escaped her lips when he chuckled and offered a hand.

"I've got this, babe." _B_ _abe_ was said with a little too much snark and Beckett felt the need to apologize. "You know I didn't mean anything by that. I'm kind of new at this whole kid thing."

Finally finished with dressing Alex, the little Castle-Beckett family made its way to the parking garage with Martha in tow. She had decided to accompany them this weekend to help with Alex. Martha knew that her son and Katherine had a few demons to exorcize that remained from his botched invitation a summer ago.

The elevator that led to the parking garage opened, revealing a well-lit, extremely clean parking deck. "This is how the other half lives," Beckett thought. "Well, I'm the other half now," she chuckled, but it was a point of contention for her. She never wanted to be accused of being with Castle for his money. It was one of the main reasons that she had been so leery of a relationship with him in the past. She had worked hard for her reputation and being seen as a gold digger scared the hell out of her.

"What is it?" Castle asked, only to be waved off by Kate as she pushed the stroller, or mobile command center as Castle liked to call it due to all the bells and whistles it possesses, out of the car into the secured deck.

As they passed the first spot, Kate couldn't help but see a new sign that read, " **Reserved for the NYPD**."

"Castle, did you do this?"

Of course he'd done it. He'd always seemed to do the little things that made her life easier even if she was unaware at the time. He'd been doing it from the moment they met. He had taken it upon himself to make sure she was fed and fully caffeinated each and every day, and if anyone asked, he would say, "It's to avoid a grumpy Beckett. Because everyone knows a grumpy Beckett makes for a terrible day."

And what had she done in return? She'd needled him, trying to get him to leave, and when that didn't work, she'd flaunted her relationships with other men, never showing her appreciation for all he'd done for her. That still had no effect on him; he just kept showing up, kept making her life easier. Well, that was going to change now; she was going to make _his_ life easier.

"Thank you, Rick. That was very sweet of you. I truly appreciate it, though you didn't have to," she said, flashing him a million watt smile.

"I just like to make your life easier, you know," he returned shyly.

"Oh, I know."

They made their way to Castle's reserved spot and Kate noticed that the Ferrari was nowhere in sight. A large SUV resided where the red midlife crisis usually sat, the Mercedes still in its usual place. "Where's the Ferrari?" Beckett blurted, somewhat surprised that she was upset it wasn't there. Thoughts of the one time she drove it brought back fond memories of a night of undercover work. A night where she teased Castle and he responded by nearly tripping over his feet staring at her backside. That had been a great night, and she had almost been disappointed when they had found their suspect.

"Why, do you miss it, Kate? Afraid you won't get to take it out again?" Castle teased.

"Why do you think were together, hm? It's definitely not for your charming personality or your rugged handsomeness. No, it's for your two wonderful daughters, that beautiful red rocket of a car, and Martha, of course," she replied with a wicked grin.

As they pulled out into the Manhattan traffic and started heading for the Hamptons, Kate asked if they could make a quick stop. She assured Castle that it wasn't too far out of the way and would just take a moment or two, only to see Castle smirk and roll his eyes.

"You always want to stop when I'm the one driving, so don't think you can make me feel bad. Besides, if you keep it up you won't get your surprise!" she exclaimed. "And whatever you're thinking, forget it. Capisce?"

"Oh, for heaven's sake, Richard! Let the poor girl stop if she wants to. We're not on a schedule," Martha chided from the front passenger seat. They had decided that Kate and Alexis would sit in the back seat of flanking Alex, with Rick and Martha up front.

After following Kate's directions, during which both they both found the change of pace hilarious, they parked in front of a small bakery.

"We'll be right back. Come on, Lex, I'll need a hand." With that the two women got out of the Tahoe.

Castle was lost in his thoughts of a certain detective when he was drawn out of his daydreams by his mother reaching over the console and putting her hand on his leg. "Hmm?"

Martha looked at her son. "She's good for her. Katherine. She's good for Alexis. She's that female figure that Alexis needs. She obviously loves our girl; well, our girls. And Alexis needs someone closer to her age. I'm a little too old to be what she needs."

Ten minutes later the girls exited the store, each with a bag in hand, laughing and teasing as they made the way to the Tahoe. They were out of breath as they secured their seat belt. "Okay, let's go!" Kate said as she smirked at Alexis.

"What's in the bags?" Castle asked refusing to start the SUV before he received an answer.

"What did I tell you, Lex? I knew he wouldn't move until he found out what we bought. Here you go. Martha, here's yours," Kate offered.

"What's this? I thought for sure you were getting a bear claw," Castle said as he took a cup coffee from Alexis.

Smiling, Kate replied, "These are cronuts. They were my mom's favorite Sunday morning splurge. We would head downtown and get a cup of coffee and a cronut. It was kind of a girl's day out."

Castle held his tongue, forgoing his usual teasing, knowing she was sharing something deeply personal with his family. When she looked up, he favored her with the smile he kept just for her and started the SUV.

Kate returned the smile then went back to talking with Alexis.

Xx

They were a little over an hour into their trip, having passed West Babylon and nearing Islip's airport. Kate could tell there was something on Alexis's mind. Ever the investigator, she prodded the young woman.

"Alexis, is there something you want to talk about?" Beckett leaned over and asked quietly trying to keep a confidence if needed.

Alexis stammered as she began to speak. "I… I thought… I thought I knew what I wanted to do with my life, but recently I seem to waver. All I know is that I want to help people. You know, like you and Dad do."

Seemingly conflicted about what she wanted to say, she took a fortifying breath and continued,"Dad's changed since he met you. He says what he does with you gives him a sense of purpose. That he feels he's helping people now, you know? And I think that's what I want to do, help people. With that being said, I'm trying to decide on a major in college. But I know that I want to make a difference, to help people. So I sort of think I want to do what Lanie does. I know I haven't served my internship yet but I still think that's what I want to do."

' _Dumbstruck_ _,_ _that was a good word_ _,'_ Beckett thought. She was dumbstruck by the way this conversation was progressing. She looked into the rearview mirror, hoping to catch Castle's eye in a silent request for advice. But traffic seemed to be thickening as they approached a stretch of road construction. She knew that she wasn't going to get any help from their shared "mind thingy" that Lanie and the boys had taken to calling how in sync they seemed to be.

"First of all, let me tell you that what your father does in his real job is extremely important. His writing helps people even if he's not aware of it. His words create a world where people can escape from the difficulties of the world; the difficulties of their circumstances. They give hope to the helpless, even if for a few hours during the week. They let people know that there's a world where the good guy always wins, the little guy has a voice, and love is always enough.

Don't ever think that that isn't important, because it is. It just might be as important as what he does with me. I think that sometimes all we have is hope, and he's the best at giving it to people whether they're housewives, doctors, lawyers, garbage collectors, or broken cops who once dreamed of being the first female chief justice of the Supreme Court," Beckett said, getting a little misty-eyed as she did.

Completely startled by the sincerity of the words she had for her father, Alexis just nodded as she contemplated the words that Beckett had so fervently shared. She had defended her father even when there was no cause to. This was what her father was missing, someone in his life who would defend him to the ends of the earth.

Her own mother certainly didn't fit that bill. And Gina had tried, but their differences were so vast that there wasn't any chance of it succeeding. That was proven correct by their second attempt last year.

Alexis had read once that true love wasn't some fairy tale romance where the prince or knight in shining armor came to rescue the princess. It wasn't kissing a frog and finding the love of your life. No, it was none of those things. It was the willingness to defend the one you love in the face of unimaginable odds. It was wanting to spend time together in the mundane parts of life.

Realizing that she hadn't replied to Beckett, she said, "Okay, Kate."

"You know, you don't have to have your major picked out when you head to school. You can take time to find yourself, to see what road you want to take. The possibilities are endless." Returning her gaze to the mirror, she saw that _now he decided to listen in._ She caught Castle's eye and smiled. "I didn't want to be a cop; I had every intention of becoming a lawyer when I headed off to Stanford. When I got there I found that being a lawyer didn't rank very high anymore. I was changing my mind, planning a different future when Mom died."

"Really, what were you thinking about?" little Castle asked.

"I found that I loved literature. I intended to declare English Lit as my major and I thought I wanted to teach. I had every intention of getting my PHD and teaching but the unimaginable happened and, well, here I am. So I guess what I'm saying is don't get tied down to what you think you want to do now. Take the time to see what's out there, what you might want to do with your life. You will make a difference in this world with whatever you choose. There's no way you can't, Lex. You're just too smart and ambitious. And if you still think you want to head down this path, then your dad and I will support you however we can. But let's not put the cart before the horse. Why don't you complete your internship and see if this still interests you? And if it does we'll go from there. Okay?"

Thinking about it for a moment, Alexis replied, "Yeah, okay, Kate. I think that's a good idea."

Changing to a lighter topic, Kate asked, "So just how big is this beach house?"

Martha's hand found her son's leg again, drawing his attention to her. "See, I told you she was good for her."

Castle smiled and looked into the rearview mirror to see the two women laughing with a now-awake Alex. "Yes, Mother, she's the balm for the Castle soul."

Xx

 **Thoughts?**

 **I hope I got the voices of Alexis and Kate correct in this one. It typically takes me many days to write a chapter, both inspirationally and time wise. This one just seemed to flow, and I made time to work on it.**


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

 **I'm back with another chapter. I want all to know I will always finish a story I start, it just might take a longer. My life is extremely busy.**

 **I own nothing.**

Kate sat on one end of the enormous leather sectional clad in a fuzzy, cowl neck sweater and yoga pants, her legs tucked under her and a glass of red wine held tight to her chest. She looked at the floor where Rick was coloring with Alex, all the while telling her a story of knights and rogues. She couldn't help but remark what a great father he was.

Alexis was busy skyping with Buttons Dutton. Kate laughed every time she heard the name. She just couldn't see herself calling the poor girl by that name. Martha had said it well when she said it was an unfortunate one.

While she watched her little makeshift family go through the night, Martha chose a place on the other end of the couch after refilling her glass of wine, of course. Beckett thought that Castle was joking about her alcohol intake but she was beginning to realize that his joking isn't off the mark by much.

"Martha, may I ask you a question?" Kate asked nervously.

Martha tipped her glass at Beckett before taking a rather large sip; some would call it a gulp. "Oh, Katherine, you can ask me anything."

Kate nervously bit her lip. "I was wondering what Castle's childhood was like. I know that's a little personal but I just… Oh, never mind."

If Martha was shocked she never let on; she just smiled and took a sip of wine. "He was rambunctious, cunning, charming, and slightly devious and that was on his good days."

"I'll bet he was," Kate replied while thoughts of a little blue-eyed boy pranking everyone in sight drifted through her mind.

Martha rose and moved closer to Kate, taking up the space right next to her on the sectional. "You know I almost gave him up for adoption."

No, Beckett didn't know this story; it was something that Castle had never shared. She couldn't imagine him without Martha's influence to guide and mold him. Sure the two of them had a dysfunctional relationship, or at least that's what it appeared to be from the outside, but Castle without Martha? She just couldn't fathom the thought.

"By the look on your face I can guess this is news to you." At Kate's nod Martha's thoughts were confirmed. "I was an unmarried whore – that's what we were called back then, an unmarried whore."

Martha looked away to compose herself, dabbing her eyes with the napkin she was holding in the event she spilled her wine. That was one of Castle's rules for his mother after the great wine fiasco of '07 ruined the white carpet that Gina had insisted on having installed.

She turned back to Kate. "Where was I? Oh, yes… unmarried whore. Everyone I knew wanted me to give him up as soon as he was born. That was after I shot down the idea of not having him in the first place." With that revelation Beckett's hands flew to her mouth, horrified at the idea that Richard Castle might never have been. "I even had someone from an adoption agency at the hospital. But when I saw those blue eyes and then he smiled up at me with that crooked smile... I just couldn't go through with it."

"That couldn't have been easy for you." Beckett offered her hand, hoping that Martha could gather a little comfort from her touch.

"It wasn't so bad, really. I lost a few roles, had to take jobs where I could find them. I waitressed at night while searching for roles during the day and vice versa when I was able to land a part. It was hard but we made it and I think it might have made us a stronger family in the long run."

Kate was astonished that Martha had been so forthcoming with her. She knew that they were forming a little family, but these were things that Martha obviously held close to her heart. Sharing with anyone couldn't be easy.

"My mom was a wonderful mother, always doting on me, giving me the safety to play the rebel. It allowed me to grow into the independent, self-reliant woman that I am today." Beckett sighed thinking back to her mom's influence and nurturing that gave her the core tenets by which she led her life. "But she had Dad; they were a team when it came to my raising. I sometimes forget that Rick didn't have that; that you didn't have that partner, that you raised him into the man he is today. And I sometimes forget that he did the same for Alexis… He is such an amazing dad that I worry I won't measure up when it comes to Alex."

Martha's arm went around Kate's shoulder so stealthily that Kate couldn't believe it had happened. Where were her detective's skills?

"You're going to be a great mom, Kate. You're already a great mom to that little girl." Beckett tried to object but she was cut off by Martha's raised hand. "Now I know that your mother told you not to argue with your elders. And if Alex wasn't enough, the bond that you're forming with Alexis is more than a testament to your parental side."

Xx

Kate's mind wandered to the day when they'd returned to New York after Bracken's arrest. She was so abnormally quiet on the trip that Castle had begun to worry that she should have stayed and been a part of Bracken's interrogation. He was stunned when that wasn't the case.

" _Babe_ _,_ _when we get home do you think I could steal Alexis away for a few hours?" Kate asked shyly which increased the shock factor for Castle._

" _Of course_ _,_ _" Castle answered as they all piled into the limo that Jimmy was driving. Castle sat with Alex while Kate and Alexis took up residence in the seats across f_ _ro_ _m them._

 _Kate leaned over and whispered into Alexis's ear_ _._ _"Do you think you would like to take a little trip with me this afternoon?" Again it was the shy side of the detective taking over._

" _Of course_ _,_ _" Alexis whispered in reply and Kate marveled at how much she sounded like Castle at that moment. Alexis was so full of concern that for the older woman she would have gone to the moon if Kate asked._

" _Jimmy_ _,_ _do you think we could steal a little more of your time?" Kate asked as they arrived at the loft. It wasn't missed by Castle that Kate had dialed_ _her_ _charm up to full blast. There was no way that any man could resist her at th_ _at_ _moment._

" _Sure thing_ _,_ _Ms. Beckett."_

" _Jimmy_ _,_ _I'm sure I_ _'_ _ve asked you to call me Kate_ _but_ _if I_ _'m mistaken_ _and didn't_ _,_ _I_ _'_ _m asking you now."_

" _Yes_ _,_ _ma'am."_

" _Oh_ _,_ _Jimmy_ _,_ _we were getting along so well until now_ _,_ _"_ _s_ _he_ _said,_ _hand_ _ing_ _him the address she wished to visit._

 _The two women sat in relative quiet as they neared their destination both seemingly unwilling to break the silence that had filled the limo._

 _When the car reached its destination Jimmy quickly opened the car door to assist Kate and Alexis out onto the sidewalk. "Ms. Beckett, Ms. Alexis_ _, please_ _take your time. I will be here when you wish to return to the loft." He seemed to know that this trip would be emotional for at least one of them if not both._

 _The ladies slowly headed down the path toward their destination_ _;_ _they were flanked by marble and granite reminders of a life well_ _-_ _lived. When they reached the lone marker emblazoned with the name_ _ **Beckett**_ _, Kate stood in silent reverence as tears flowed down her cheeks._

 _After a few moments she placed her arm around Alexis_ _'s_ _shoulder and pulled her close_ _._ _"Mom_ _,_ _this is Alexis, Rick's olde_ _r_ _daughter. Alexis_ _,_ _this is my mom, Johanna Beckett."_

" _It's a pleasure to meet you M_ _r_ _s. Beckett_ _,_ _" Alexis whispered_ _,_ _tears fill_ _ing_ _her eyes. She couldn't help but think that she was eighteen years old, just one year shy of Kate's age when this monument to her mother was erected. If she had some lingering resentment with Kate for the way Kate_ _had_ _treated her dad before they got together_ _,_ _they were whisked away with each tear shed._

" _Mom_ _,_ _we got him_ _._ _Rick and I got the man who took you away from us." Kate knelt down and brushed some loose grass clipping_ _s_ _and leaves from the base of the granite marker. "He can't hurt anyone else, he can't do what he did to another family."_

 _Alexis stood_ _,_ _taking in the scene_ _,_ _wondering how she would react if this was her talking to her father and not wanting to interfere when Kate looked up and smiled_ _._ _"Mom would have loved you. Loved you and Alex and your dad_ _. W_ _ell_ _,_ _she was already his biggest fan."_

 _Almost like a light_ _had turned on,_ _Kate turned back to the marker_ _._ _"Oh_ _M_ _om_ _,_ _you don't know. Rick adopted a little girl from Russia. Her name is Alexandria and she_ _'_ _s the cutest thing I think I_ _'_ _ve ever seen."_

 _Alexis decided now was the time to speak up_ _._ _"If you didn't know better you would think she was Kate's_ _biological_ _daughter. She looks just like her_ _–_ _brown hair and green eyes_ _._ _I think she even has her kick-ass attitude." Alexis's hands flew to her mouth_ _._ _"Sorry about that."_

 _Kate laughed_ _at that and_ _Alexis quickly redden_ _ed_ _with embarrassment. "It's nothing she hasn't heard from me before_ _, Alexis_ _._ _It's all right, really._ _"_

" _Mom_ _,_ _there_ _'_ _s something else I want to tell you_ _._ _I moved in with Rick and his family."_

 _Alexis quickly added, "It's your family now. We are all one little Castle_ _-_ _Beckett_ _-_ _Rodgers family." Alexis grew serious_ _._ _"We love you_ _,_ _Kate_ _,_ _and_ _we are_ _your family now." Alexis turned to Johanna_ _._ _"We'll take care of her Mrs. Beckett, I promise."_

 _The two women took a seat in front of the monument and began to tell stories_ _. O_ _nes of the things Castle ha_ _d_ _done at home, one_ _s_ _that Castle ha_ _d_ _done at the precinct, and a few that Alexis ha_ _d_ _heard of at the premier parties in his wilder days. There w_ _ere_ _laughs, hugs_ _,_ _and more tears_ _,_ _but in the end it was a cathartic afternoon for Kate._

 _The two women grew closer the longer th_ _ey_ _sat_ _. B_ _oth were unwilling for the day to end but eventually Beckett stood_ _._ _"If we don't get home soon your dad's going to start to worry, and if he does on our first excursion there might not be a second."_

 _The walk back to Jimmy and their ride wasn't enthusiastic but it wasn't as somber as the walk to Johanna_ _'s resting place had been. B_ _oth women tried to put up a good front, not wanting Jimmy to worry. Alexis felt a twinge of envy for the first time since Alex joined the family. Alexandria was going to grow up with Kate as her mother, even if Kate never adopted her sister. Her envy surprised her since her father had been great at being both parents_ _. B_ _ut Alex was going to be able to talk to Kate about things that she_ _'d_ _had to ask_ _her grams_ _._

 _Alexis wasn't_ _naïve;_ _she knew that her father had asked Kate about things once she became an adult, and Kate had given excellent advice but it was third party. She didn't have a chance to ask and delve deeper into things with Kate_ _herself_ _._

" _Where to_ _,_ _Ms. Beckett?" Jimmy_ _i_ _nquired as he opened the door._

 _Kate looked at Alexis and smiled then returned her gaze to Jimmy_ _._ _"Home_ _._ _I think we want to go home."_

" _Yes ma'am." A smiling Jimmy closed the door._

Xx

"I think it's bedtime little one," Castle said to a yawning Alex. He picked up the toddler and looked over at Kate. "I think it might be time for you as well."

She nodded. "I think so, too. I'll just clean down here a bit then I'm going to take a shower."

Castle shook his head. "No, I'll get this. Why don't you head on up? I'll be there soon with some hot chocolate. How does that sound?"

With a smile that rivaled the sun, Kate replied, "Perfect."

Martha rose and took Kate's glass. "I think I'll head up after I wash these."

"Oh, Martha let me," Kate insisted.

"No, my dear. You looked beat; just go on up. And let's face it, I'm not washing everything in the house, just two wine glasses. Richard can clean up his own mess," Martha said, all the while knowing she intended to help her son tidy up for the evening.

Xx

Kate sat on the deck in a sinfully soft robe watching the reflection of the moon over the water. She could hear the waves lapping the shore as a low drumming of the shower Rick was taking provided an ambient sound for the evening.

She was at peace. For the first time since her mom's death, she was at peace. If she thought about the past there were times she had been at peace but right here, tonight, it was like she was eighteen again without a care in the world. She would never be able to thank Castle for everything, but she vowed to spend the rest of her life trying to provide him the same peace that she was experiencing this evening.

She was so at ease she never heard the shower end or him making his way to her. "Hey it's a little cold out here."

"Just a bit but the sound of the waves is soothing." She looked up and over her shoulder to receive his greeting kiss.

"Then why don't we sleep with the door open?" He massaged her shoulders as she rolled them.

"You really don't mind?" Her gaze returned to the ocean. "It _is_ cold tonight; I might have to cuddle. Just for warmth, you know." The last line delivered with a saucy grin she knew drove him wild.

"If you look at me like that again I'll sleep in a freezer with you," he retorted with an upturned nose. "Or maybe not. This might be cold enough."

"I don't ever want to spend time in a freezer again. But one good thing came about in that freezer." She looked at him trying to see if he knew where she was going and when he didn't reply she continued. "I found out just what a great cuddler you are."

 **Thoughts?**


End file.
